(no subject)
The Ranger
Chapter 3:
Thursday. Matthew hated thursdays. Somehow they seemed to smell like Monday's to Matthew. And Matthew thought monday's smelt like shit. Not regular shit. The kind of shit that you only have when you can't decide what to eat so you eat one of everything. The kind that has pieces of red squirt in it. The sort of shit that at first you find the smell interesting but then you realize that you aren't smelling interest, you are smelling shit. Mondays smell like the shit that is to the point that you look down to see why it smells so bad, and then you realize "why the fuck am I looking at my own shit? Is this normal? No matter, just keep looking." That is what Monday's smelt like to matthew, and thursday's smelt like mondays. THIS, was a thursday. Matthew looked up at the giant building in front of him. He walked across the street briskly, and straight into the building. He looked around. For such a huge looking building, he was in a very small room, with no windows nor doors, except for the one which lead outside. There were no stair cases, escalators, elevators, nothing. In such an empty room, Matthew had the natural inclination to unzip his pants, grasp his penis, and move his hand swiftly yet comfortably up and down his shaft, performing what is known by some as Masturbation (mass.terr-bay.shun). Matthew began to unzip his pants, but then thought better of it, and zipped right back up. He began walking towards the backwall of the room, looking around. He took a step, and suddenly he began to fall endlessly into abyss. "Fuck," thought Matthew, "it was a trap! I've been set up by a Goddamned hippie!" Yes, Matthew had stepped on a trap door which sent him plummeting down into darkness. After just a few seconds, Matthew landed on the floor of a hidden room, hard, like hard penis. His head was throbbing, but He managed to pull himself up off of the ground. He noticed that unlike the room he had been in, he was now in a solid white room. In fact, the exact color of the walls which the painters used was called "Pearly Shine Cum". It can be found at most home renovation stores. Matthew was a bit nevous. He called out. "Hello???" he said. No one responded. He tried again. "Hello?!" At first there was nothing, but then a door which matthew had not seen (it blended in perfectly with the cum walls), opened and a man wearing a black cloak stepped in. "You are Matthew, are you not?" Matthew hesitated, but then responded, "Yes." "Come with me," the cloaked man said, and he turned and walked right back through the door. Matthew didn't move. What had he gotten himself into? Was he in danger? He didn't know, but no penis ever ejaculated itself, and as such he would have to go through the door the find the answers. He walked towards the door, sweating. He kept calm by repeating the analogy over and over in his head. "Penis is ejaculating as being in a white room is to going through the door. Penis is to ejaculating as being in a white room is going through the door." He stepped through the door, and saw 6 other men, including the cloaked man. He couldn't see the women, they were in the back corner doing the laundry. "What is this place?" Matthew said forcefully. The cloaked man looked straight at him and said "Welcome to Hetero-One, Matthew, the head base of THE CUNNUS. "THE CUNNUS? What's that?" Mathew asked. The cloaked man responded, "THE CUNNUS was my team of men who were on a secret mission. At this time I cannot reveal to you what that mission was, but for years we fought long and hard. Recently my entire party was captured, and are now subject to death and torture. I had need for new members in order to rescue my crew and complete our quest. Along with you, I have requested the help of the other boner biters that stand before you. None of them know any more than you do. All you need know is that I have been watching all of you for some time now, and you are all very skilled and very deadly pussy eaters, metaphorically and literally. You received my letter and thus you came. Yes Matthew, I am The Ranger. And these are your new friends." Matthew looked around at the other men. They were all wearing name tags. The men were identified as: Nathaniel, Christian, Jefferson, Eric, and Tanner. Matthew looked down at his own shirt and noticed he was wearing a name tag too. "When the FUCK did that get there?" he thought. The cloaked man was looking at Matthew again. "Matthew," he said, "welcome to THE CUNNUS."
To be continued...
Chapter 3:
Thursday. Matthew hated thursdays. Somehow they seemed to smell like Monday's to Matthew. And Matthew thought monday's smelt like shit. Not regular shit. The kind of shit that you only have when you can't decide what to eat so you eat one of everything. The kind that has pieces of red squirt in it. The sort of shit that at first you find the smell interesting but then you realize that you aren't smelling interest, you are smelling shit. Mondays smell like the shit that is to the point that you look down to see why it smells so bad, and then you realize "why the fuck am I looking at my own shit? Is this normal? No matter, just keep looking." That is what Monday's smelt like to matthew, and thursday's smelt like mondays. THIS, was a thursday. Matthew looked up at the giant building in front of him. He walked across the street briskly, and straight into the building. He looked around. For such a huge looking building, he was in a very small room, with no windows nor doors, except for the one which lead outside. There were no stair cases, escalators, elevators, nothing. In such an empty room, Matthew had the natural inclination to unzip his pants, grasp his penis, and move his hand swiftly yet comfortably up and down his shaft, performing what is known by some as Masturbation (mass.terr-bay.shun). Matthew began to unzip his pants, but then thought better of it, and zipped right back up. He began walking towards the backwall of the room, looking around. He took a step, and suddenly he began to fall endlessly into abyss. "Fuck," thought Matthew, "it was a trap! I've been set up by a Goddamned hippie!" Yes, Matthew had stepped on a trap door which sent him plummeting down into darkness. After just a few seconds, Matthew landed on the floor of a hidden room, hard, like hard penis. His head was throbbing, but He managed to pull himself up off of the ground. He noticed that unlike the room he had been in, he was now in a solid white room. In fact, the exact color of the walls which the painters used was called "Pearly Shine Cum". It can be found at most home renovation stores. Matthew was a bit nevous. He called out. "Hello???" he said. No one responded. He tried again. "Hello?!" At first there was nothing, but then a door which matthew had not seen (it blended in perfectly with the cum walls), opened and a man wearing a black cloak stepped in. "You are Matthew, are you not?" Matthew hesitated, but then responded, "Yes." "Come with me," the cloaked man said, and he turned and walked right back through the door. Matthew didn't move. What had he gotten himself into? Was he in danger? He didn't know, but no penis ever ejaculated itself, and as such he would have to go through the door the find the answers. He walked towards the door, sweating. He kept calm by repeating the analogy over and over in his head. "Penis is ejaculating as being in a white room is to going through the door. Penis is to ejaculating as being in a white room is going through the door." He stepped through the door, and saw 6 other men, including the cloaked man. He couldn't see the women, they were in the back corner doing the laundry. "What is this place?" Matthew said forcefully. The cloaked man looked straight at him and said "Welcome to Hetero-One, Matthew, the head base of THE CUNNUS. "THE CUNNUS? What's that?" Mathew asked. The cloaked man responded, "THE CUNNUS was my team of men who were on a secret mission. At this time I cannot reveal to you what that mission was, but for years we fought long and hard. Recently my entire party was captured, and are now subject to death and torture. I had need for new members in order to rescue my crew and complete our quest. Along with you, I have requested the help of the other boner biters that stand before you. None of them know any more than you do. All you need know is that I have been watching all of you for some time now, and you are all very skilled and very deadly pussy eaters, metaphorically and literally. You received my letter and thus you came. Yes Matthew, I am The Ranger. And these are your new friends." Matthew looked around at the other men. They were all wearing name tags. The men were identified as: Nathaniel, Christian, Jefferson, Eric, and Tanner. Matthew looked down at his own shirt and noticed he was wearing a name tag too. "When the FUCK did that get there?" he thought. The cloaked man was looking at Matthew again. "Matthew," he said, "welcome to THE CUNNUS."
To be continued...