(no subject)
have you ever looked at a picture of a stranger, and notice that they appear so confident, and full of life, and content... and wonder if they have problems too? you almost wanna ask the picture, "has anyone ever hurt you? are you always having fun in this life? what's your secret?" or especially when you read their profile, and their friends' comments. i guess that's the aim, the objective of this whole nonsense. appear happy and popular. nobody wants their picture taken when they're distraught; when their eyes are irriated and red from the wiping of tears, and their makeup is smearing all over their face. those are the moments nobody wants to advertise, respectively. internet gives you such freedom to choose exactly how you want people to perceive you, hence, it is very far from accurate.
today was great in the beginning, i visited baylife's morning service, and loved it. there were things i didn't love, but no church is perfect. then i ran back to ol' fbc for 7th grade sunday school, which i did by myself today. sara stayed after to talk and ask questions which was pretty much the point of my existence today. honestly. today, for me, was meant for the conversation sara and i had. then i went home, walked around the block, down ranch road, saw the rogers, fed the goats moss. who knew they liked eating moss? good memories, that little gravel road. that's why some country songs about them don't bother me. they make me smile. as for country, is it becoming a side dish. as is everything. and boy, am i full!! i just crave new things, new experiences, new life. life is changing, and more change is what i desire. i like things, but things will only continue developing as i follow God's way. i don't know His plan, and that's not important. what's important is day to day obedience. one of the biggest changes of my life, one i've never experienced, is the lack of a best friend. since i can remember, there was always someone, and i NEEDED to claim them as my best friend. but now, there's lots of people and personalities that have so much to offer collectively. but there's no ONE. maybe there never will be, since i seem to be doing better with just Jesus, and then good friends to grow and hang out with. maybe my only other best friend will be my future husband, which feels like 50 years down the road.
[EDIT] chris rice's voice is so soothing, and his words are comforting. i like this cd. these are some of my thoughts from tonight, with a chunk ejected. but this is how i want to be perceive in this entry, ya see?
today was great in the beginning, i visited baylife's morning service, and loved it. there were things i didn't love, but no church is perfect. then i ran back to ol' fbc for 7th grade sunday school, which i did by myself today. sara stayed after to talk and ask questions which was pretty much the point of my existence today. honestly. today, for me, was meant for the conversation sara and i had. then i went home, walked around the block, down ranch road, saw the rogers, fed the goats moss. who knew they liked eating moss? good memories, that little gravel road. that's why some country songs about them don't bother me. they make me smile. as for country, is it becoming a side dish. as is everything. and boy, am i full!! i just crave new things, new experiences, new life. life is changing, and more change is what i desire. i like things, but things will only continue developing as i follow God's way. i don't know His plan, and that's not important. what's important is day to day obedience. one of the biggest changes of my life, one i've never experienced, is the lack of a best friend. since i can remember, there was always someone, and i NEEDED to claim them as my best friend. but now, there's lots of people and personalities that have so much to offer collectively. but there's no ONE. maybe there never will be, since i seem to be doing better with just Jesus, and then good friends to grow and hang out with. maybe my only other best friend will be my future husband, which feels like 50 years down the road.
[EDIT] chris rice's voice is so soothing, and his words are comforting. i like this cd. these are some of my thoughts from tonight, with a chunk ejected. but this is how i want to be perceive in this entry, ya see?