(Untitled)

[theseidlewords]

Last night I was talking to this guy that I had just meet and somehow we got on the subject of relationships, and I put forth what I consider a pretty obvious theory: in order for a relationship to really work for that long the member need to have similar amounts of self confidence. The exact amount doesn't matter, as long as it's comparable.

Comments

[sixhours]

makes sense to me; i go by the theory that you have to like yourself before you can have a successful long-term relationship with someone else, and it goes both ways. of course, when you're speaking about long-term compatibility, there are many, many other factors to consider as well.

[theseidlewords]

i completely agree. agreement means i'm not crazy.

[madamespooky]

I agree, Suzy, up to a point. What about two people who have very little self confidence? I can't imagine that two people with little self confidence would play well off one another.

[theseidlewords]

wouldn't that just be a rediculously codependant relationship though?

[madamespooky]

That would be so disgusting to witness...

[theseidlewords]

oh i've seen it, it's mostly annoying. expecially when you are trying to get one of them to do something without the other.

[strangeidea]

Nah, if I'm understanding you right, I don't agree at all. Just look at me and Amanda - when we met oh so many moons ago, she was a shy little thing that apologized every time she said, "good morning" and I was at the height of my teenage extroversion. Now it's the other way around and I'm the shoegazer and she's the one who makes friends on the bus to work, and we still work as a couple as well as we ever did. Not to say that a disparity in the level of self-confidence can't be an obstacle, only that it's not necessarily an insurmountable obstacle under the best conditions and if both people are willing to live with it.

point taken

[theseidlewords]

although from what i've seen of you and Amanda you rarely pay attention to things like logic, or sence.

Or perhaps i'd bad at paying attention

Re: point taken

[strangeidea]

Well, you could say that for most of my life...

Re: point taken

[theseidlewords]

logic is for pansies anyway

[emyko]

Maybe this person has never had particularly low self-esteem or dated someone with low self-esteem. Once you have, it seems pretty obvious that it's an important factor.

[theseidlewords]

it's kind of sad when understanding relationships equates having bad ones.

[strangeidea]

How do you learn anything, except by doing it wrong over and over until you've ruled out every other possibility?

[theseidlewords]

i don't know, don't sitcoms and bad teen movies tell you that certain things shouldn't even be attempted?