[one-shot] Our Little Secret
Title: Our Little Secret
Pairing: Kyomoto Taiga x Tanaka Juri
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Taiga has a secret, and then Juri has a secret.
Word Count: 4635
Author's Note: Because I have so much Taiga fic ready to post and it's his birthday so...
“It looks like it's just the two of us.” Juri says with an eyeroll, stepping back to let Taiga over Koki's threshold.
“Even Shintaro pulled out?” Taiga says with a note of exasperation in his voice.
“I might have mentioned that there'd be alcohol.” Juri admits sheepishly, taking the bottles of beer Taiga holds out to him. “He said he didn't trust any of us drunk.”
Taiga laughs. “I don't blame him.” But then he takes a bottle back out of the pack he's just given Juri and takes the top off it with his teeth. “More for us I suppose.” and Juri takes out a bottle for himself, clinking it against Taiga's even before it's opened, then he sets about opening it as Taiga takes a swig of his own and heads into the living room.
He's already taken care of the zoo, that's his part of the deal done, now he gets to enjoy the rest of his evening, though he has to admit to himself he doesn’t quite know what to expect now.
Hokuto dropping out was no surprise, he's one of those people that acts all hurt if you don't invite them but then finds some excuse last minute, Jesse had said all along he might be busy and he never even heard back from Kouchi or Yasui. Now it's just him and Taiga, and more alcohol than they could possibly need.
Despite his eagerness to start right away, it actually takes Taiga a while to get through even his first bottle, and Juri's a little lost on what to say, the movie they'd put on holding neither of their interests for long. By his third bottle of beer though, Taiga is confessing industry secrets, and Juri feels like he's almost ready to start prying out Taiga's deepest darkest secrets when Taiga gets suddenly quiet at the mention of sex.
“You can't tell anyone.” Taiga says, his tone serious enough that Juri won't, he knows this is something big. He nods slowly and Taiga looks back down at his drink, his pause long enough for Juri to think he maybe won't continue after all. “I'm gay.” Juri's eyes widen a little and there's a small dropping feeling in his stomach, he doesn't know what to say and Taiga looks up at him after a minute or two. “Please don't tell anyone.”
“I won't.” Juri assures him, he means it too, this is big. “Does anyone else know?”
“I haven't said anything to her, but I think my mum has figured it out. Yuta knows too, but that's it...”
“Higuchi?” Juri asks, mildly surprised, it's been a while since he heard that name but he knows that him and Taiga were pretty close back in the day. “Were you two...did you...you know”
“No!” Taiga says a little too defensively and Juri just raises his eyebrows in question. “We used to mess around when we were kids.” he explains “when we'd stay over at each other's houses, but just kissing and touching...we never...he straightened out before things got to that.”
“And you didn't…straighten out?” Juri pushes. Taiga looks up at him, his head shaking slowly, and there's something in his eyes that Juri can't help pitying.
“We were just exploring, there was never anything serious and I was never upset with him for putting a stop to it...but it was...” Taiga looks down, taking another long swig from his bottle and Juri doesn't think there's any more to that sentence.
“So have you ever...?” Juri asks, he can't help it. It's a personal question and none of his business but he's always kind of wondered; Taiga never talks about sex or dating.
Taiga shakes his head. “I want to, just...you know, it's hard to put yourself out there when you’re not...out there.”
Juri takes a sip of his beer, the words playing on his tongue for a few moments, his mind checking through them before they spill out thoughtlessly. “I would.” Taiga looks at him in surprise, his expression dropping into a question and Juri takes another long drink. “I don't think I'm gay, but I'm kinda curious...I've never slept with a guy before.”
For one heart-stopping moment he can't quite gauge Taiga's reaction, he looks simultaneously terrified and excited. “Really?” he says eventually and Juri's eyes are drawn to the way his Adam’s apple bobs with a heavy swallow.
It's actually a little scarier when it seems like it might happen, Juri wouldn't chicken out but at the same time he doesn't want it to screw anything up either. “It would just be a one-time thing...” he says.
“Of course.” Taiga agrees readily.
“Just exploring...like with...” Taiga is following him, nodding his head quickly and Juri genuinely feels kind of bad that Taiga had to get this desperate. “And just so we're clear...I'm not going to be the bottom.”
Taiga is nodding again, his breathing quickening already and it sounds even airier than usual when he answers. “Good, that's how I want it.”
It's decided. It all happened so quickly that Juri feels kind of like he's been winded, but at the same time he's strangely excited, he wouldn't have proposed the idea if he didn't want to do it after all. “Should we..?” What? Kiss? Undress? Finish our beers? “Koki should have stuff in his room...”
Taiga nods and Juri nods back. There's not much left in his beer bottle so Juri finishes it off and places it back on the table, Taiga just puts his down. With nothing left to distract him, Juri offers Taiga an almost shy smile and gets up, leading the way to Koki's bedroom.
He finds what he's looking for in the bottom drawer of the dresser, or some of what he's looking for at least. He clears his throat but he can't quite look at Taiga as he speaks. “I found lube but there's no condoms. I know I’m clean, but if you don't want to....”
“I don't mind.” Taiga says quietly from just a few steps behind him and a shudder runs through Juri's body. Juri nods and gets up, tossing the tube of lube onto the bed and he reaches for his shirt to pull it off. It's halfway there when Taiga tugs it gently back down from behind. “Juri.” he says softly and Juri turns to look at him, their eyes meeting until Taiga averts his shyly “Could we...take things slowly? I'm a little nervous.”
His instinct is to laugh and tell Taiga he doesn't need to be, but he suddenly recognises his own awkwardness at the situation as nerves too and just tries a smile instead. “Yeah sure, I'm kind of nervous too.”
Taiga looks back at him, half grateful half bemused. “Why are you nervous? You've done it before right?”
“A few times.” Juri admits. “But just with random girls I barely knew...” Taiga nods as though he understands, his hair falling forward from where it's tucked behind his ear and it reminds Juri of how beautiful Taiga looks sometimes. “You know” he starts, unsure if he should even continue but the alcohol in his system tells him it's OK to. “When I was younger...when I was more confused about my own sexuality I actually had a bit of a crush on you.”
He's not quite ready to admit that 'younger' was about four years ago and Bakaleya, and as he looks at Taiga's face and the way it spreads into a smile, Juri wonders if that crush ever really went away. There’s something in the back of his mind asking him if that isn’t what this is really about. Half an hour ago he never had any intention of exploring the avenue of gay sex, but then there was Taiga, and Dutch courage and here he is and he wants this so bad he's already starting to harden.
“Really?” Taiga asks.
Juri doesn't answer, not verbally at least, it just feels right to lean in and kiss him. It's just once at first, but it's long and lingering and Juri drags his lips across Taiga's again for another.
Taiga all but melts into him, exhaling hard across Juri's cheek as their lips brush together over and over and Juri is just melting into it too when Taiga's hand moves to his waist. His quiet moan comes out of nowhere, and he smiles back as Taiga's lips spread into a smile against his. It's already more erotic than his past trysts.
He's not even sure who flicks their tongue out first, but since Taiga's is most of the way into his mouth, he suspects it was Taiga. Not that he cares, it feels good, unhurried and sensual and he's moaning again, the sound of it echoing in his ears but Taiga just smiles.
When a hand slips under his T-shirt, that's definitely Taiga's move, he'd almost been disappointed when it disappeared from his waist, but now it's against his skin and Juri hums his approval, his stomach dipping as the gentle touch flutters across it.
When Taiga's hand moves around to his back, Juri's spine arches, gentle fingers fluttering up and down it and it only pushes them closer together. Juri wants to touch Taiga too, wants to touch every single inch of him but he starts with his face, his hand cupping Taiga's cheek as he kisses him harder.
Taiga's own lips move faster and Juri's hand slips back into Taiga's hair, clutching at it when Taiga's tongue flicks against his again and then he feels Taiga's breath quivering against his cheek as his hands move back to Juri's waist and grip his T-shirt.
When Taiga's hands move up, they take Juri's shirt with them and Juri pulls away long enough for it to slide over his head and then he leans back in to kiss Taiga a few more times before pulling Taiga's shirt off too. For a few minutes they kiss slowly, distracted by their hands roaming each other’s chests but then Taiga pulls away shyly. “Can I?..” he asks, but he doesn't finish the sentence and Juri is confused until his hands slide down to Juri's waist and Taiga drops to his knees.
Hell yes, Juri thinks, but he answers with a nod instead, his hips already squirming in anticipation as Taiga unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down to his ankles. He looks incredible, kneeling there, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth in an almost cheeky expression as he rubs his hand over the bulge in Juri's boxers.
He's not sure if he should, if Taiga will like it or not but he daringly reaches out for Taiga's hair again, threading his fingers through it and tightening them in encouragement as Taiga leans in to kiss across his abdomen.
It's teasing, but Juri likes it, likes the slow build up and Taiga must feel how much he likes it in the way his erection twitches against Taiga's cheek. The teasing doesn't last forever though and soon enough Taiga is peeling down the waistband of his boxers and pushing them to the floor too.
Juri can't help twitching again as Taiga eyes his cock and then takes a firm hold of the base. His eyes flick up to Juri's only momentarily before he leans in to lick at the head.
Juri's eyes clench shut at the sensation, he's so excited that even the lightest of touches sets him on fire, and then Taiga is opening his mouth properly, his warm breath moist against the head of Juri's cock before he follows with his lips and moves down.
His hand is tightening in Taiga's hair and Taiga hums in what Juri hopes is approval as he slides back up and swallows Juri down again. Juri lets his other hand drop to Taiga's shoulder and it's that one that Juri uses to nudge him away not even a few minutes later.
Taiga looks up at him almost questioningly as he edges back but Juri doesn't have words, laughing and shaking his head at how close Taiga had him in just minutes. Taiga smiles almost shyly and Juri knows that he gets it, is pleased about it and then he's getting to his feet to kiss Juri again.
Juri doesn't ask permission, he reaches for Taiga's belt without even breaking their kiss and deftly unfastens it, when he hears the clink of it falling to the floor along with Taiga's jeans, he goes back for his underwear. His thumbs slide beneath the waistband and for a few moments he just slides them back and forth along Taiga's stomach as Taiga’s breath hitches, and then he moves his thumbs around to Taiga's sides and pulls his boxers down.
He wants to look, he wants to see it, but he doesn't want to make Taiga feel watched so he waits until Taiga breaks their kiss before looking down between them. Just the sight of it excites him - excites him in a way he never imagined another cock could.
Taiga picks up one of Juri's hands from where it's resting on his hips, and pulls it to his mouth, kissing it gently. “Should we lay down?”
Juri nods, giving Taiga another quick peck before climbing onto the bed and urging Taiga on after him. It's a little weird, Juri thinks as they each roll onto their sides to face each other, but then Taiga is shuffling close enough to kiss him and his hand runs deftly up and down Juri's naked side.
Juri rests his own hand on Taiga's side, mirroring Taiga's actions for a moment, and then he lets it slide onto the smooth expanse of Taiga's back and then down, following his thoughts as they turn to Taiga's ass and what they're about to do.
“I don't want to hurt you...” Juri says softly, his lips still pressed against Taiga's. “Would you be OK with me using my fingers first?” He can feel Taiga's whole body shuddering as he nods and Juri rubs a soothing hand up and down Taiga's naked back, letting it fall to rest on his buttock again. “If it would make it more comfortable I could use my mouth while I'm doing it...”
This time Taiga moans, his hips giving an involuntary jerk but he shakes his head. “I don't think I'd be able to last if you used your mouth...but it's OK, it won't be uncomfortable...I really like it.”
That has something twisting in Juri's abdomen, and he doesn't want to waste any more time before doing it, before actually feeling how much Taiga likes it. He grabs to the side for the lube, bringing it around to Taiga's back to use both hands to unfasten the cap and then squirts some onto the fingers of his free hand. He moves his lubed hand back around to the front and pushes it down. Taiga's leg lifts obediently when he gets to it to give Juri enough room to slide his hand back and between them. “Is it OK like this?” he asks. He knows from Taiga's body language that it is but he feels like he needs to say something, to give some kind of warning.
Taiga nods, and this is it, Juri takes a long breath as his fingers press down, rubbing gently back and forth over the ring of muscle until his middle finger slides inside. Taiga's breath hitches as he squeezes back around Juri's finger but Juri is the one that moans. It's so warm and tight, the muscles giving just enough to let him move his finger back and forth. He experiments with curling it, flicking it as much as he can and Taiga gasps outright, a high-pitched moan escaping his lips before he presses them against Juri's.
He lets his ring finger brush over Taiga's rim, his own cock twitching as he feels the way his other digit is buried inside Taiga's body, and then Taiga is biting softly into his lip, his head nodding as his hips push back. Juri pushes down, feels it slide inside and he pumps both of them in and out, revelling in the way Taiga squirms, rocking back against them.
“One more?” Juri asks against Taiga's lips, he's never done three with a girl before, but Taiga isn't a girl, and this is completely different and Juri wants to make Taiga's first time as enjoyable as possible.
“Please.” Taiga breathes back and Juri lets his index finger wander, flicking softly against the furled muscle in warning before easing it inside. It feels impossibly tight, and this time Taiga's gasp sounds harsher, but Juri is still bigger than this and he doesn't want to make Taiga uncomfortable.
“Just relax.” he whispers, easing them further inside as Taiga's hand moves to clutch at his shoulder.
Taiga takes a few slow breaths and with each one Juri's fingers slip further inside. “Keep kissing me.” Taiga asks quietly, and Juri feels the difference when he does. He moans as everything squeezes against his fingers and relaxes, relaxing further each time their tongues meet until Juri can curl them again.
“I'm ready.” Taiga says, his breath catching as Juri's fingers flick over his prostate again. “How do you want me?”
“I want to see your face.” Juri answers without his brain's consent, but Taiga just nods and tries to hide a smile as he rolls onto his back, Juri's fingers falling out of him.
Juri knows how to do this much, even if everything about it feels entirely different, feels so much more, like deeper or wider or stronger, like something is swimming underneath his skin to warm him from the inside out.
“Juri.” Taiga says quietly, and when their eyes meet something twists inside his chest, something Juri can't even start to think about when he's like this, about to do this and why the fuck isn't he moving. “Juri” Taiga says again, his voice some mix of concerned and desperate and Juri can't take it anymore. “Juri please...” he starts again, but Juri silences him with a kiss.
It's hard and fast and it's not even close to the things swirling around inside Juri as he lines himself up. His hands shake as they fold Taiga's legs back to make it easier, and Taiga just whines against his lips, and then he's pushing inside.
It doesn't even compare. Juri doesn't even have half a mind to try and compare it, his mind occupied with running through every expletive he knows just to try and make sense of the intensity. It's more than he thought sex could be, more than passion and carnal desire and he pulls back as his hips start to thrust, just to check that Taiga feels it too.
Taiga's eyes are trained on him, his mouth spreading into a shaky smile that's quickly wiped away with a groan as Juri shuffles around enough to change the angle. Taiga approves if his noises are anything to go by, and Juri finds his own exertions have him grunting along, watching the ecstasy play across Taiga's features.
His grunts turn to groans as Taiga pushes a hand between them, the position makes it awkward but Juri knows he can reach when everything gets so much more. Taiga moans aloud as the walls around Juri clamp down, squeezing him so tight that he already feels impending release creeping up on him.
He sees it before he feels it, Taiga's head falls back, his mouth open in a silent scream and his body starts to jerk just seconds before hot fluid splashes against Juri's chest and stomach.
He has to work harder to push through the resistance, Taiga's walls constricting around him in every direction, suffocating him in heat and pleasure so intense that he can't even control his rhythm. He drops down onto his elbows and thrusts as fast as he can, Taiga's sated groans tickling his ear and only taking him higher.
“Fuck.” he grunts, tingles starting along his limbs. “I'm gonna come. Should I pull out?”
Juri thinks he might just love Taiga in the next second as his head shakes, one of Taiga's hands winding into the back of Juri's hair to hold his head down against his shoulder. “Come for me Juri.” Taiga whispers, his voice the lightest and somehow the deepest Juri's ever heard it, his words laced with pants.
Juri couldn't hold back if he tried, moaning aloud as everything builds up inside him, exploding into the most intense orgasm he's experienced. He thrusts his hips slowly through the aftershocks, riding out the last waves of bliss until it starts to ache and he has to stop.
Taiga hisses a little as he slips out but then he's rubbing soothing circles along Juri's sides and Juri knows he's OK. He also knows that Taiga got the short straw in this deal so Juri should be the one trying to soothe out his aches and pains but he's left so breathless he can't even manage to keep holding himself up.
It's wet and sticky between their naked chests but Juri doesn't even care, just hums his discomfort and nuzzles his head into the crook of Taiga's neck, kissing lazily at his collarbones.
He could easily fall asleep just like that, his body rising and falling with Taiga's slowing breaths and he feels strangely calm, not like after his other one night stands. And indeed he must, because when his eyes flutter open, it's starting to get light out and Taiga is watching him - he looks away immediately but Juri can see the faint blush on his cheeks that tell him Taiga knows he was caught.
It makes Juri smile, and it feels kind of weird to feel so warm so early in the morning and after what the memories flashing through his mind assure him, happened last night. “Morning.” he says, stretching out his arms above his head and then pulling them back under the duvet that Taiga must have managed to pull over them sometime through the night.
“We're OK right?” Taiga asks softly, and Juri lets his head flop to the side to find Taiga looking at him again, his gentle features half sated, half anxious.
“Sure.” Juri assures him. “Why wouldn't we be?”
“We...we slept together.” Taiga says, suddenly finding Juri's shoulder interesting. “I didn't know if you would feel weird about it when we're not...”
Juri probably would feel a little weird about it if he weren't still so relaxed, if Taiga's face didn't look so beautiful and innocent. “I'm OK. We both had a good time, right? And we're talking about it, and it's not weird, right?”
“Right.” Taiga nods his mouth spreading into a smile that Juri can't help but mirror. “Yeah, I think we'll be OK.”
They will; Juri believes it with such strong conviction. Until the next day at work when Taiga is stretching on the floor and all Juri can see is his naked body, writhing and jerking, painting itself white. All he sees when Taiga looks at him is that vulnerable innocence, that irresistible desperation and Juri doesn't even know if he wants to fuck him again or hug him.
It's complicated. It's complicated in a way sex has never been for Juri, he saw Mika-chan almost every day at school for a whole year after they slept together but it was never this confusing. He never wanted to jump her every other second and kiss her when he didn't. There's just something about Taiga, it's that stupid girly hair, and that innocent face that Juri knows for a fact is not that fucking innocent, and it's everything else. It's every stupid thing, and every word and then eventually every waking second and Juri doesn't even know what to do, only he has to do something because in the back of his mind he knows he's hurting Taiga.
Hokuto is the last person Juri should be going to for advice, he knows nothing about tact and feelings and all that other soppy shit as Hokuto calls it, he is somewhat of an expert on sex though and that's kind of the root of Juri's problem.
“Hokuto...you've slept with a lot of people right?” He'd been worried about how to phrase it without offending Hokuto, but if anything he looks proud.
“I guess so.” Hokuto answers, his tone that confident, airy one and Juri almost doesn't want to continue only he has nobody else to turn to.
“Have you ever had feelings for any of them?” Juri asks, he can't think of a way to mask it, he just wants to know.
Hokuto sees right through him. “Who is it?”
“I can't tell you.” Juri says, there's no point in lying, Hokuto is both smarter and craftier than him. “I made a promise...”
“Were you drunk?” Hokuto asks, and the question seems so odd, but so specific that Juri thinks he'd better answer honestly, it could be important.
“Not drunk...but we'd both been drinking...”
“Taiga then.” Hokuto says matter-of-factly.
Juri sputters on his own air. “No...it's not.”
“Please.” Hokuto says with a snort. “I know your mother doesn't let you drink, and the one night you spent at Koki's without parental supervision, I know already that you spent alone with Taiga...'watching movies' apparently. And it would explain why you've been avoiding him.”
“Hokuto.” Juri says as sternly as he can manage through his panic. “You can't tell anyone.”
“Like I would...” Hokuto answers, and Juri is halfway through his sigh of relief before Hokuto continues “I wouldn't give up such good bribing material so readily.”
Juri whines, Hokuto really does have him by the balls. “Hokuto, please...”
For a moment Hokuto doesn't answer and Juri watches in desperation as Hokuto's expression turns to pity. “So you like him?”
“I think so.” he answers honestly. “I mean, I don't know...I can't stop thinking about him...and not just in a sexy way, in a...like I want to know him better...” he has to laugh at himself. “Like I want to know his favourite colour and what fucking food he likes.”
“Purple and tomatoes.” Hokuto answers in that same matter-of-fact tone. That wasn't the point and Juri opens his mouth to say as much when Hokuto interrupts him. “So you're interested in somebody you're fucking, there's nothing unusual about that in my book...you want to please him so he'll like you and keep coming back...it's normal.”
Juri shakes his head. “It's not like that, not really...we agreed it was just a one-time thing and I'm OK with that...not that I don't want to...I just...” his brain is giving out on him again, the way it always seems to these days when Taiga is involved. He clenches his fingers into his hair as he grunts in frustration, pulling hard enough for him to think straight. “When I'm around him...everything inside me aches.” he says, it's the problem boiled down to its simplest form, but even that has Hokuto raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Stop it. You're the worst person in the world I could have talked to about this!”
“Maybe so.” Hokuto agrees, but his smile drops into something more serious. “You know who you should have talked to about this?”
He doesn't want to hear the answer to that, he knows it already, he has done since the morning he woke up beside Taiga and told him everything was fine. “I'm not ready to tell him how I feel.” he tells Hokuto, it doesn't even scratch the surface but it'll suffice.
Hokuto shrugs. “If there's anything I can do to help then I will but...I'm not exactly Mr. Romance, I don't know how this shit works.”
Juri nods his thanks and watches Hokuto leave. “Neither do I.”
Pairing: Kyomoto Taiga x Tanaka Juri
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Taiga has a secret, and then Juri has a secret.
Word Count: 4635
Author's Note: Because I have so much Taiga fic ready to post and it's his birthday so...
“It looks like it's just the two of us.” Juri says with an eyeroll, stepping back to let Taiga over Koki's threshold.
“Even Shintaro pulled out?” Taiga says with a note of exasperation in his voice.
“I might have mentioned that there'd be alcohol.” Juri admits sheepishly, taking the bottles of beer Taiga holds out to him. “He said he didn't trust any of us drunk.”
Taiga laughs. “I don't blame him.” But then he takes a bottle back out of the pack he's just given Juri and takes the top off it with his teeth. “More for us I suppose.” and Juri takes out a bottle for himself, clinking it against Taiga's even before it's opened, then he sets about opening it as Taiga takes a swig of his own and heads into the living room.
He's already taken care of the zoo, that's his part of the deal done, now he gets to enjoy the rest of his evening, though he has to admit to himself he doesn’t quite know what to expect now.
Hokuto dropping out was no surprise, he's one of those people that acts all hurt if you don't invite them but then finds some excuse last minute, Jesse had said all along he might be busy and he never even heard back from Kouchi or Yasui. Now it's just him and Taiga, and more alcohol than they could possibly need.
Despite his eagerness to start right away, it actually takes Taiga a while to get through even his first bottle, and Juri's a little lost on what to say, the movie they'd put on holding neither of their interests for long. By his third bottle of beer though, Taiga is confessing industry secrets, and Juri feels like he's almost ready to start prying out Taiga's deepest darkest secrets when Taiga gets suddenly quiet at the mention of sex.
“You can't tell anyone.” Taiga says, his tone serious enough that Juri won't, he knows this is something big. He nods slowly and Taiga looks back down at his drink, his pause long enough for Juri to think he maybe won't continue after all. “I'm gay.” Juri's eyes widen a little and there's a small dropping feeling in his stomach, he doesn't know what to say and Taiga looks up at him after a minute or two. “Please don't tell anyone.”
“I won't.” Juri assures him, he means it too, this is big. “Does anyone else know?”
“I haven't said anything to her, but I think my mum has figured it out. Yuta knows too, but that's it...”
“Higuchi?” Juri asks, mildly surprised, it's been a while since he heard that name but he knows that him and Taiga were pretty close back in the day. “Were you two...did you...you know”
“No!” Taiga says a little too defensively and Juri just raises his eyebrows in question. “We used to mess around when we were kids.” he explains “when we'd stay over at each other's houses, but just kissing and touching...we never...he straightened out before things got to that.”
“And you didn't…straighten out?” Juri pushes. Taiga looks up at him, his head shaking slowly, and there's something in his eyes that Juri can't help pitying.
“We were just exploring, there was never anything serious and I was never upset with him for putting a stop to it...but it was...” Taiga looks down, taking another long swig from his bottle and Juri doesn't think there's any more to that sentence.
“So have you ever...?” Juri asks, he can't help it. It's a personal question and none of his business but he's always kind of wondered; Taiga never talks about sex or dating.
Taiga shakes his head. “I want to, just...you know, it's hard to put yourself out there when you’re not...out there.”
Juri takes a sip of his beer, the words playing on his tongue for a few moments, his mind checking through them before they spill out thoughtlessly. “I would.” Taiga looks at him in surprise, his expression dropping into a question and Juri takes another long drink. “I don't think I'm gay, but I'm kinda curious...I've never slept with a guy before.”
For one heart-stopping moment he can't quite gauge Taiga's reaction, he looks simultaneously terrified and excited. “Really?” he says eventually and Juri's eyes are drawn to the way his Adam’s apple bobs with a heavy swallow.
It's actually a little scarier when it seems like it might happen, Juri wouldn't chicken out but at the same time he doesn't want it to screw anything up either. “It would just be a one-time thing...” he says.
“Of course.” Taiga agrees readily.
“Just exploring...like with...” Taiga is following him, nodding his head quickly and Juri genuinely feels kind of bad that Taiga had to get this desperate. “And just so we're clear...I'm not going to be the bottom.”
Taiga is nodding again, his breathing quickening already and it sounds even airier than usual when he answers. “Good, that's how I want it.”
It's decided. It all happened so quickly that Juri feels kind of like he's been winded, but at the same time he's strangely excited, he wouldn't have proposed the idea if he didn't want to do it after all. “Should we..?” What? Kiss? Undress? Finish our beers? “Koki should have stuff in his room...”
Taiga nods and Juri nods back. There's not much left in his beer bottle so Juri finishes it off and places it back on the table, Taiga just puts his down. With nothing left to distract him, Juri offers Taiga an almost shy smile and gets up, leading the way to Koki's bedroom.
He finds what he's looking for in the bottom drawer of the dresser, or some of what he's looking for at least. He clears his throat but he can't quite look at Taiga as he speaks. “I found lube but there's no condoms. I know I’m clean, but if you don't want to....”
“I don't mind.” Taiga says quietly from just a few steps behind him and a shudder runs through Juri's body. Juri nods and gets up, tossing the tube of lube onto the bed and he reaches for his shirt to pull it off. It's halfway there when Taiga tugs it gently back down from behind. “Juri.” he says softly and Juri turns to look at him, their eyes meeting until Taiga averts his shyly “Could we...take things slowly? I'm a little nervous.”
His instinct is to laugh and tell Taiga he doesn't need to be, but he suddenly recognises his own awkwardness at the situation as nerves too and just tries a smile instead. “Yeah sure, I'm kind of nervous too.”
Taiga looks back at him, half grateful half bemused. “Why are you nervous? You've done it before right?”
“A few times.” Juri admits. “But just with random girls I barely knew...” Taiga nods as though he understands, his hair falling forward from where it's tucked behind his ear and it reminds Juri of how beautiful Taiga looks sometimes. “You know” he starts, unsure if he should even continue but the alcohol in his system tells him it's OK to. “When I was younger...when I was more confused about my own sexuality I actually had a bit of a crush on you.”
He's not quite ready to admit that 'younger' was about four years ago and Bakaleya, and as he looks at Taiga's face and the way it spreads into a smile, Juri wonders if that crush ever really went away. There’s something in the back of his mind asking him if that isn’t what this is really about. Half an hour ago he never had any intention of exploring the avenue of gay sex, but then there was Taiga, and Dutch courage and here he is and he wants this so bad he's already starting to harden.
“Really?” Taiga asks.
Juri doesn't answer, not verbally at least, it just feels right to lean in and kiss him. It's just once at first, but it's long and lingering and Juri drags his lips across Taiga's again for another.
Taiga all but melts into him, exhaling hard across Juri's cheek as their lips brush together over and over and Juri is just melting into it too when Taiga's hand moves to his waist. His quiet moan comes out of nowhere, and he smiles back as Taiga's lips spread into a smile against his. It's already more erotic than his past trysts.
He's not even sure who flicks their tongue out first, but since Taiga's is most of the way into his mouth, he suspects it was Taiga. Not that he cares, it feels good, unhurried and sensual and he's moaning again, the sound of it echoing in his ears but Taiga just smiles.
When a hand slips under his T-shirt, that's definitely Taiga's move, he'd almost been disappointed when it disappeared from his waist, but now it's against his skin and Juri hums his approval, his stomach dipping as the gentle touch flutters across it.
When Taiga's hand moves around to his back, Juri's spine arches, gentle fingers fluttering up and down it and it only pushes them closer together. Juri wants to touch Taiga too, wants to touch every single inch of him but he starts with his face, his hand cupping Taiga's cheek as he kisses him harder.
Taiga's own lips move faster and Juri's hand slips back into Taiga's hair, clutching at it when Taiga's tongue flicks against his again and then he feels Taiga's breath quivering against his cheek as his hands move back to Juri's waist and grip his T-shirt.
When Taiga's hands move up, they take Juri's shirt with them and Juri pulls away long enough for it to slide over his head and then he leans back in to kiss Taiga a few more times before pulling Taiga's shirt off too. For a few minutes they kiss slowly, distracted by their hands roaming each other’s chests but then Taiga pulls away shyly. “Can I?..” he asks, but he doesn't finish the sentence and Juri is confused until his hands slide down to Juri's waist and Taiga drops to his knees.
Hell yes, Juri thinks, but he answers with a nod instead, his hips already squirming in anticipation as Taiga unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down to his ankles. He looks incredible, kneeling there, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth in an almost cheeky expression as he rubs his hand over the bulge in Juri's boxers.
He's not sure if he should, if Taiga will like it or not but he daringly reaches out for Taiga's hair again, threading his fingers through it and tightening them in encouragement as Taiga leans in to kiss across his abdomen.
It's teasing, but Juri likes it, likes the slow build up and Taiga must feel how much he likes it in the way his erection twitches against Taiga's cheek. The teasing doesn't last forever though and soon enough Taiga is peeling down the waistband of his boxers and pushing them to the floor too.
Juri can't help twitching again as Taiga eyes his cock and then takes a firm hold of the base. His eyes flick up to Juri's only momentarily before he leans in to lick at the head.
Juri's eyes clench shut at the sensation, he's so excited that even the lightest of touches sets him on fire, and then Taiga is opening his mouth properly, his warm breath moist against the head of Juri's cock before he follows with his lips and moves down.
His hand is tightening in Taiga's hair and Taiga hums in what Juri hopes is approval as he slides back up and swallows Juri down again. Juri lets his other hand drop to Taiga's shoulder and it's that one that Juri uses to nudge him away not even a few minutes later.
Taiga looks up at him almost questioningly as he edges back but Juri doesn't have words, laughing and shaking his head at how close Taiga had him in just minutes. Taiga smiles almost shyly and Juri knows that he gets it, is pleased about it and then he's getting to his feet to kiss Juri again.
Juri doesn't ask permission, he reaches for Taiga's belt without even breaking their kiss and deftly unfastens it, when he hears the clink of it falling to the floor along with Taiga's jeans, he goes back for his underwear. His thumbs slide beneath the waistband and for a few moments he just slides them back and forth along Taiga's stomach as Taiga’s breath hitches, and then he moves his thumbs around to Taiga's sides and pulls his boxers down.
He wants to look, he wants to see it, but he doesn't want to make Taiga feel watched so he waits until Taiga breaks their kiss before looking down between them. Just the sight of it excites him - excites him in a way he never imagined another cock could.
Taiga picks up one of Juri's hands from where it's resting on his hips, and pulls it to his mouth, kissing it gently. “Should we lay down?”
Juri nods, giving Taiga another quick peck before climbing onto the bed and urging Taiga on after him. It's a little weird, Juri thinks as they each roll onto their sides to face each other, but then Taiga is shuffling close enough to kiss him and his hand runs deftly up and down Juri's naked side.
Juri rests his own hand on Taiga's side, mirroring Taiga's actions for a moment, and then he lets it slide onto the smooth expanse of Taiga's back and then down, following his thoughts as they turn to Taiga's ass and what they're about to do.
“I don't want to hurt you...” Juri says softly, his lips still pressed against Taiga's. “Would you be OK with me using my fingers first?” He can feel Taiga's whole body shuddering as he nods and Juri rubs a soothing hand up and down Taiga's naked back, letting it fall to rest on his buttock again. “If it would make it more comfortable I could use my mouth while I'm doing it...”
This time Taiga moans, his hips giving an involuntary jerk but he shakes his head. “I don't think I'd be able to last if you used your mouth...but it's OK, it won't be uncomfortable...I really like it.”
That has something twisting in Juri's abdomen, and he doesn't want to waste any more time before doing it, before actually feeling how much Taiga likes it. He grabs to the side for the lube, bringing it around to Taiga's back to use both hands to unfasten the cap and then squirts some onto the fingers of his free hand. He moves his lubed hand back around to the front and pushes it down. Taiga's leg lifts obediently when he gets to it to give Juri enough room to slide his hand back and between them. “Is it OK like this?” he asks. He knows from Taiga's body language that it is but he feels like he needs to say something, to give some kind of warning.
Taiga nods, and this is it, Juri takes a long breath as his fingers press down, rubbing gently back and forth over the ring of muscle until his middle finger slides inside. Taiga's breath hitches as he squeezes back around Juri's finger but Juri is the one that moans. It's so warm and tight, the muscles giving just enough to let him move his finger back and forth. He experiments with curling it, flicking it as much as he can and Taiga gasps outright, a high-pitched moan escaping his lips before he presses them against Juri's.
He lets his ring finger brush over Taiga's rim, his own cock twitching as he feels the way his other digit is buried inside Taiga's body, and then Taiga is biting softly into his lip, his head nodding as his hips push back. Juri pushes down, feels it slide inside and he pumps both of them in and out, revelling in the way Taiga squirms, rocking back against them.
“One more?” Juri asks against Taiga's lips, he's never done three with a girl before, but Taiga isn't a girl, and this is completely different and Juri wants to make Taiga's first time as enjoyable as possible.
“Please.” Taiga breathes back and Juri lets his index finger wander, flicking softly against the furled muscle in warning before easing it inside. It feels impossibly tight, and this time Taiga's gasp sounds harsher, but Juri is still bigger than this and he doesn't want to make Taiga uncomfortable.
“Just relax.” he whispers, easing them further inside as Taiga's hand moves to clutch at his shoulder.
Taiga takes a few slow breaths and with each one Juri's fingers slip further inside. “Keep kissing me.” Taiga asks quietly, and Juri feels the difference when he does. He moans as everything squeezes against his fingers and relaxes, relaxing further each time their tongues meet until Juri can curl them again.
“I'm ready.” Taiga says, his breath catching as Juri's fingers flick over his prostate again. “How do you want me?”
“I want to see your face.” Juri answers without his brain's consent, but Taiga just nods and tries to hide a smile as he rolls onto his back, Juri's fingers falling out of him.
Juri knows how to do this much, even if everything about it feels entirely different, feels so much more, like deeper or wider or stronger, like something is swimming underneath his skin to warm him from the inside out.
“Juri.” Taiga says quietly, and when their eyes meet something twists inside his chest, something Juri can't even start to think about when he's like this, about to do this and why the fuck isn't he moving. “Juri” Taiga says again, his voice some mix of concerned and desperate and Juri can't take it anymore. “Juri please...” he starts again, but Juri silences him with a kiss.
It's hard and fast and it's not even close to the things swirling around inside Juri as he lines himself up. His hands shake as they fold Taiga's legs back to make it easier, and Taiga just whines against his lips, and then he's pushing inside.
It doesn't even compare. Juri doesn't even have half a mind to try and compare it, his mind occupied with running through every expletive he knows just to try and make sense of the intensity. It's more than he thought sex could be, more than passion and carnal desire and he pulls back as his hips start to thrust, just to check that Taiga feels it too.
Taiga's eyes are trained on him, his mouth spreading into a shaky smile that's quickly wiped away with a groan as Juri shuffles around enough to change the angle. Taiga approves if his noises are anything to go by, and Juri finds his own exertions have him grunting along, watching the ecstasy play across Taiga's features.
His grunts turn to groans as Taiga pushes a hand between them, the position makes it awkward but Juri knows he can reach when everything gets so much more. Taiga moans aloud as the walls around Juri clamp down, squeezing him so tight that he already feels impending release creeping up on him.
He sees it before he feels it, Taiga's head falls back, his mouth open in a silent scream and his body starts to jerk just seconds before hot fluid splashes against Juri's chest and stomach.
He has to work harder to push through the resistance, Taiga's walls constricting around him in every direction, suffocating him in heat and pleasure so intense that he can't even control his rhythm. He drops down onto his elbows and thrusts as fast as he can, Taiga's sated groans tickling his ear and only taking him higher.
“Fuck.” he grunts, tingles starting along his limbs. “I'm gonna come. Should I pull out?”
Juri thinks he might just love Taiga in the next second as his head shakes, one of Taiga's hands winding into the back of Juri's hair to hold his head down against his shoulder. “Come for me Juri.” Taiga whispers, his voice the lightest and somehow the deepest Juri's ever heard it, his words laced with pants.
Juri couldn't hold back if he tried, moaning aloud as everything builds up inside him, exploding into the most intense orgasm he's experienced. He thrusts his hips slowly through the aftershocks, riding out the last waves of bliss until it starts to ache and he has to stop.
Taiga hisses a little as he slips out but then he's rubbing soothing circles along Juri's sides and Juri knows he's OK. He also knows that Taiga got the short straw in this deal so Juri should be the one trying to soothe out his aches and pains but he's left so breathless he can't even manage to keep holding himself up.
It's wet and sticky between their naked chests but Juri doesn't even care, just hums his discomfort and nuzzles his head into the crook of Taiga's neck, kissing lazily at his collarbones.
He could easily fall asleep just like that, his body rising and falling with Taiga's slowing breaths and he feels strangely calm, not like after his other one night stands. And indeed he must, because when his eyes flutter open, it's starting to get light out and Taiga is watching him - he looks away immediately but Juri can see the faint blush on his cheeks that tell him Taiga knows he was caught.
It makes Juri smile, and it feels kind of weird to feel so warm so early in the morning and after what the memories flashing through his mind assure him, happened last night. “Morning.” he says, stretching out his arms above his head and then pulling them back under the duvet that Taiga must have managed to pull over them sometime through the night.
“We're OK right?” Taiga asks softly, and Juri lets his head flop to the side to find Taiga looking at him again, his gentle features half sated, half anxious.
“Sure.” Juri assures him. “Why wouldn't we be?”
“We...we slept together.” Taiga says, suddenly finding Juri's shoulder interesting. “I didn't know if you would feel weird about it when we're not...”
Juri probably would feel a little weird about it if he weren't still so relaxed, if Taiga's face didn't look so beautiful and innocent. “I'm OK. We both had a good time, right? And we're talking about it, and it's not weird, right?”
“Right.” Taiga nods his mouth spreading into a smile that Juri can't help but mirror. “Yeah, I think we'll be OK.”
They will; Juri believes it with such strong conviction. Until the next day at work when Taiga is stretching on the floor and all Juri can see is his naked body, writhing and jerking, painting itself white. All he sees when Taiga looks at him is that vulnerable innocence, that irresistible desperation and Juri doesn't even know if he wants to fuck him again or hug him.
It's complicated. It's complicated in a way sex has never been for Juri, he saw Mika-chan almost every day at school for a whole year after they slept together but it was never this confusing. He never wanted to jump her every other second and kiss her when he didn't. There's just something about Taiga, it's that stupid girly hair, and that innocent face that Juri knows for a fact is not that fucking innocent, and it's everything else. It's every stupid thing, and every word and then eventually every waking second and Juri doesn't even know what to do, only he has to do something because in the back of his mind he knows he's hurting Taiga.
Hokuto is the last person Juri should be going to for advice, he knows nothing about tact and feelings and all that other soppy shit as Hokuto calls it, he is somewhat of an expert on sex though and that's kind of the root of Juri's problem.
“Hokuto...you've slept with a lot of people right?” He'd been worried about how to phrase it without offending Hokuto, but if anything he looks proud.
“I guess so.” Hokuto answers, his tone that confident, airy one and Juri almost doesn't want to continue only he has nobody else to turn to.
“Have you ever had feelings for any of them?” Juri asks, he can't think of a way to mask it, he just wants to know.
Hokuto sees right through him. “Who is it?”
“I can't tell you.” Juri says, there's no point in lying, Hokuto is both smarter and craftier than him. “I made a promise...”
“Were you drunk?” Hokuto asks, and the question seems so odd, but so specific that Juri thinks he'd better answer honestly, it could be important.
“Not drunk...but we'd both been drinking...”
“Taiga then.” Hokuto says matter-of-factly.
Juri sputters on his own air. “No...it's not.”
“Please.” Hokuto says with a snort. “I know your mother doesn't let you drink, and the one night you spent at Koki's without parental supervision, I know already that you spent alone with Taiga...'watching movies' apparently. And it would explain why you've been avoiding him.”
“Hokuto.” Juri says as sternly as he can manage through his panic. “You can't tell anyone.”
“Like I would...” Hokuto answers, and Juri is halfway through his sigh of relief before Hokuto continues “I wouldn't give up such good bribing material so readily.”
Juri whines, Hokuto really does have him by the balls. “Hokuto, please...”
For a moment Hokuto doesn't answer and Juri watches in desperation as Hokuto's expression turns to pity. “So you like him?”
“I think so.” he answers honestly. “I mean, I don't know...I can't stop thinking about him...and not just in a sexy way, in a...like I want to know him better...” he has to laugh at himself. “Like I want to know his favourite colour and what fucking food he likes.”
“Purple and tomatoes.” Hokuto answers in that same matter-of-fact tone. That wasn't the point and Juri opens his mouth to say as much when Hokuto interrupts him. “So you're interested in somebody you're fucking, there's nothing unusual about that in my book...you want to please him so he'll like you and keep coming back...it's normal.”
Juri shakes his head. “It's not like that, not really...we agreed it was just a one-time thing and I'm OK with that...not that I don't want to...I just...” his brain is giving out on him again, the way it always seems to these days when Taiga is involved. He clenches his fingers into his hair as he grunts in frustration, pulling hard enough for him to think straight. “When I'm around him...everything inside me aches.” he says, it's the problem boiled down to its simplest form, but even that has Hokuto raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Stop it. You're the worst person in the world I could have talked to about this!”
“Maybe so.” Hokuto agrees, but his smile drops into something more serious. “You know who you should have talked to about this?”
He doesn't want to hear the answer to that, he knows it already, he has done since the morning he woke up beside Taiga and told him everything was fine. “I'm not ready to tell him how I feel.” he tells Hokuto, it doesn't even scratch the surface but it'll suffice.
Hokuto shrugs. “If there's anything I can do to help then I will but...I'm not exactly Mr. Romance, I don't know how this shit works.”
Juri nods his thanks and watches Hokuto leave. “Neither do I.”