[multichapter] Baby Blue: Part 4: Chapter 20
Title: Baby Blue: Part 4: Chapter 20
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1854
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: All they wanted was each other, just to be together the way they once were. But now that they have it, is that still enough?
15th February 2014
The clock read 3am when he woke to the sound of dogs barking. His head was throbbing, the empty bottle of wine still lay next to him on the living room floor. He rolled over the other way, burying his head under his arm, not ready to face the world again, but the barking continued.
“Shut up” he called out weakly, but the barking only intensified, the sound of claws scratching at the kitchen door, where the dogs had been shut all night, joining the whines and yaps. He lay for as long as he could take it, but eventually the need to clear the noise from his throbbing head won out and he dragged himself up to his feet, only stumbling a little as he made his way to the kitchen door.
He expected the dogs to dash straight for the door, indicating they wanted to go out, but instead they continued barking as they ran frantically through every room of the small flat.
“He's not here.” Ueda groaned eventually, the noise still stabbing through his skull. “Junno's gone.”
The simple words brought everything back. All the sadness, the anguish, the heart-break, and he'd thrown Taguchi out like he meant nothing. He wandered back into the living room and dropped himself down onto the sofa, he had to do something, he had to say something, he had to figure out what the hell it was he wanted.
He lay back and threw his arm over his eyes again, shutting out the barks and whines, and he tried to think, to think of everything, to remember how he'd felt before things got so complicated. At some point a wet tongue licked at his elbow, and the small act of affection made him realise how cold and unaffectionate he'd been himself, how he'd been pushing Taguchi away, he'd been cold and uncaring and despite everything, despite all that was going on, what Taguchi could have had and wasn't getting from him, Taguchi still wanted to make things work with him.
He rolled over and pulled the small dog, Tiko he recognised, up onto the sofa with him and he buried his face into the soft fur as he started to sob. He'd ruined everything, he'd thrown it all away, and he missed Taguchi unbearably.
When he finally felt like he could breathe again, he pushed himself up on the sofa, and climbed up, staggering, no longer drunk but desperate, to the other side of the room where his phone lay. He dialled Taguchi's number, listened intently to every single ring before the line cut off, and then he tried again.
Fifteen minutes and five unanswered calls later, he was starting to panic, what if Taguchi wouldn't hear him out, what if that was it? if he didn't even get chance to explain that he knew how stupid he'd been, what if he didn't get get chance to apologise?
He grabbed his keys and dashed for the genkan, slipping on the first shoes he came across and dashed out of the door. He'd barely made it into the car before the engine was on and he was speeding his way towards Taguchi's apartment, an uncomfortable twisting in his chest.
The discomfort only grew as he reached Taguchi's building, the mini wasn't anywhere to be seen. Just to be sure, Ueda parked his own car in the usual space and made his way up to the apartment, unlocking the door to the eerie silence inside.
“Junno...” he called out, but there was no answer, nothing stirring in the dark room, and Ueda felt almost sick with worry.
He wandered through each room, but everything was in place, strangely silent and still. He picked up his cell phone, and dialled Taguchi's number again, but there was still no answer, and no noise in the apartment.
He called Maru's number next, just so that he didn't feel quite so alone, but the voice at the other end of the line did nothing to ease his worry.
“Ueda, what's wrong?” Maru asked impatiently for the third time.
“Have you heard from Junno?” he asked, his mind unable to focus on anything but the other man.
“Why would I have heard from him?” Maru asked annoyed “And why at 4am?”
“He's not here.” Ueda answered vaguely, returning to the genkan of Taguchi's apartment, but then not quite ready to give up, he sat down on the floor, the reality of it sinking in. “We fought, and I broke up with him...and he left, and now I can't find him...”
“What...you broke up? What happened?”
What hadn't happened? Where did he start? “Maru...I'm at Junno's apartment...I don't want to be on my own...”
There was a soft sigh from the other side of the line, and then some shuffling. “Ueda...” Maru started hesitantly. “How serious is this?”
He didn't even know how to answer, he'd thought that everything had crashed down around him hours ago when Taguchi had told him the DNA results, but that was nothing, nothing to how he felt without Taguchi. He shook his head, not trusting his voice, but a quiet sob fought its way out as fresh tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“I'm on my way.” Maru said softly, and then the line went dead.
Ueda climbed back up to his feet and wandered back into the living room, unsure what to do with himself. He didn't want to put on the TV, or a light even, he just wanted Taguchi to come home.
He was still standing in the dark, sometime later when the door opened behind him. For a fraction of a second his heart stopped, but then Maru's voice, followed by shuffling feet, floated through to him.
The light above him flicked on, and he turned to find Maru, accompanied by Koki and Kame, staring bleary-eyed at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the tears started again and he just shook his head.
Koki stepped forward first, pulling him into his arms and he let his head fall to Koki's shoulder as the others moved around them, Kame pulling up seats and beanbags while Maru went to the kitchen to make tea. Eventually he was pried from Koki's hold and manoeuvred onto the centre seat of the sofa, a hot cup of tea placed into his hands. “Ok, start from the beginning.”
He took a moment, distracting himself by blowing on his tea, and then taking a small sip before letting out a sigh. “We've been fighting a lot...for a while now...since he...proposed. He's been pushing for so much, for us to get married and move in together, and it's not that I don't want to, but we've got to be realistic right? And careful...”
All three nodded sympathetically but it was Kame that spoke “It's ok, I get it, you do need to be careful...”
“Careful.” Ueda repeated, this time thinking of something else. “Things were already tense and then Mayuko-san showed up again..eight months pregnant.”
Maru gasped while the other two continued to stare at him wide-eyed. “He's not...”
“No.” Ueda revealed, shaking his head. “She didn't know who the father was, and she wanted him to take a paternity test...the baby isn't his but for a while we didn't know and it was very confusing for the both of us.”
“Did you want it to be his?” Koki asked.
He shook his head, but it wasn't a denial. “I don't know, we didn't talk about it. I don't think either of us wanted too but I just...I didn't give him chance, we barely saw each other. And about the baby...I think we both did and didn't at the same time. I mean...I want to have children and he does too but we can't...and we accepted that...and it would kill me a little to know that they had a baby together...”
“So what happened tonight? Last night should I say...” Maru pushed. “You fought...”
“We only just found out...the results came back, and I was in shock, and confused and I snapped at him. I shouldn't have done, I should have comforted him, and been there to reassure him...but I was confused and angry and there really couldn't have been a good outcome to the situation...”
“You said you broke up with him?”
Ueda nodded, ashamed, and his voice was quieter, shakier when he spoke again. “I was really upset, and I'd been trying so hard not to think about everything that was going on. And then everything just got too much and I didn't know what I wanted apart from that I wanted it to stop hurting so much...” He'd been distracted somewhat by filling the others in, but it was coming back to the reason they were here. “I told him I didn't want to see him any more, and he left and I can't find him now...”
“How long ago did he leave?” Kame asked, his face now concentrated.
“A while ago, before 9pm. I woke up at 3am and tried calling him, when he didn't answer I came here and there was no sign of him.” Kame nodded contemplatively.
“We all tried calling him too...there was no answer, but I don't think it's anything to worry about...he's probably just taking a bit of time to himself...”
“We'll keep trying, and when it gets a little later we can call around, see if anybody has heard from him.” Maru added.
“Yeah, and in the meantime we could drive around, see if he's gone to any places you like to hang out, if he's at the jimusho or one of the studios or something...”
Ueda nodded, his chest still aching, but soothed a little by their reassurances. “Thanks guys, I really appreciate it...I just want to know that he's ok, and to tell him that I'm sorry...”
Kame wrapped an arm around him. “Don't worry, we'll find him.”
Maru and Koki went together, driving around the work buildings they thought Taguchi could have gone to, checking the parking lots for his car and Ueda with Kame, checking their more personal hangouts, the billiards club, the gym, the park, but there was no sign of him.
At almost 7am Kame's phone rang and the two of them looked at each other, Kame was driving and Maru knew to call Ueda's phone, and there was no other reason for anyone to be calling that early. The number was unknown so Kame set it to hands free and answered the call hesitantly.
“Kame?” came a familiar voice, though not the one Ueda had been hoping to hear. “It's Ohno, I just saw on the news...is Taguchi-kun alright?”
Ueda's eyes widened and Kame swallowed thickly. “What do you mean? What was on the news?”
“You haven't heard? I mean...I guess they didn't say that it was him but I recognise his car from that time we went fishing...”
“What happened?” Ueda interrupted, desperate to know where Taguchi was.
“It's on the news because of the traffic delays...his car is wrapped around a lamp-post somewhere outside of Yokohama.
Chapter 19 | Chapter 21
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please don't hate me guys T_T Things got way melodramatic! The good news is that I've almost finished writing this part, there are 22 chapters in all, and then if you aren't sick of it yet I'll start on part 5 >_<
Pairing: JunDa
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1854
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and only the words are mine.
Summary: All they wanted was each other, just to be together the way they once were. But now that they have it, is that still enough?
15th February 2014
The clock read 3am when he woke to the sound of dogs barking. His head was throbbing, the empty bottle of wine still lay next to him on the living room floor. He rolled over the other way, burying his head under his arm, not ready to face the world again, but the barking continued.
“Shut up” he called out weakly, but the barking only intensified, the sound of claws scratching at the kitchen door, where the dogs had been shut all night, joining the whines and yaps. He lay for as long as he could take it, but eventually the need to clear the noise from his throbbing head won out and he dragged himself up to his feet, only stumbling a little as he made his way to the kitchen door.
He expected the dogs to dash straight for the door, indicating they wanted to go out, but instead they continued barking as they ran frantically through every room of the small flat.
“He's not here.” Ueda groaned eventually, the noise still stabbing through his skull. “Junno's gone.”
The simple words brought everything back. All the sadness, the anguish, the heart-break, and he'd thrown Taguchi out like he meant nothing. He wandered back into the living room and dropped himself down onto the sofa, he had to do something, he had to say something, he had to figure out what the hell it was he wanted.
He lay back and threw his arm over his eyes again, shutting out the barks and whines, and he tried to think, to think of everything, to remember how he'd felt before things got so complicated. At some point a wet tongue licked at his elbow, and the small act of affection made him realise how cold and unaffectionate he'd been himself, how he'd been pushing Taguchi away, he'd been cold and uncaring and despite everything, despite all that was going on, what Taguchi could have had and wasn't getting from him, Taguchi still wanted to make things work with him.
He rolled over and pulled the small dog, Tiko he recognised, up onto the sofa with him and he buried his face into the soft fur as he started to sob. He'd ruined everything, he'd thrown it all away, and he missed Taguchi unbearably.
When he finally felt like he could breathe again, he pushed himself up on the sofa, and climbed up, staggering, no longer drunk but desperate, to the other side of the room where his phone lay. He dialled Taguchi's number, listened intently to every single ring before the line cut off, and then he tried again.
Fifteen minutes and five unanswered calls later, he was starting to panic, what if Taguchi wouldn't hear him out, what if that was it? if he didn't even get chance to explain that he knew how stupid he'd been, what if he didn't get get chance to apologise?
He grabbed his keys and dashed for the genkan, slipping on the first shoes he came across and dashed out of the door. He'd barely made it into the car before the engine was on and he was speeding his way towards Taguchi's apartment, an uncomfortable twisting in his chest.
The discomfort only grew as he reached Taguchi's building, the mini wasn't anywhere to be seen. Just to be sure, Ueda parked his own car in the usual space and made his way up to the apartment, unlocking the door to the eerie silence inside.
“Junno...” he called out, but there was no answer, nothing stirring in the dark room, and Ueda felt almost sick with worry.
He wandered through each room, but everything was in place, strangely silent and still. He picked up his cell phone, and dialled Taguchi's number again, but there was still no answer, and no noise in the apartment.
He called Maru's number next, just so that he didn't feel quite so alone, but the voice at the other end of the line did nothing to ease his worry.
“Ueda, what's wrong?” Maru asked impatiently for the third time.
“Have you heard from Junno?” he asked, his mind unable to focus on anything but the other man.
“Why would I have heard from him?” Maru asked annoyed “And why at 4am?”
“He's not here.” Ueda answered vaguely, returning to the genkan of Taguchi's apartment, but then not quite ready to give up, he sat down on the floor, the reality of it sinking in. “We fought, and I broke up with him...and he left, and now I can't find him...”
“What...you broke up? What happened?”
What hadn't happened? Where did he start? “Maru...I'm at Junno's apartment...I don't want to be on my own...”
There was a soft sigh from the other side of the line, and then some shuffling. “Ueda...” Maru started hesitantly. “How serious is this?”
He didn't even know how to answer, he'd thought that everything had crashed down around him hours ago when Taguchi had told him the DNA results, but that was nothing, nothing to how he felt without Taguchi. He shook his head, not trusting his voice, but a quiet sob fought its way out as fresh tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“I'm on my way.” Maru said softly, and then the line went dead.
Ueda climbed back up to his feet and wandered back into the living room, unsure what to do with himself. He didn't want to put on the TV, or a light even, he just wanted Taguchi to come home.
He was still standing in the dark, sometime later when the door opened behind him. For a fraction of a second his heart stopped, but then Maru's voice, followed by shuffling feet, floated through to him.
The light above him flicked on, and he turned to find Maru, accompanied by Koki and Kame, staring bleary-eyed at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the tears started again and he just shook his head.
Koki stepped forward first, pulling him into his arms and he let his head fall to Koki's shoulder as the others moved around them, Kame pulling up seats and beanbags while Maru went to the kitchen to make tea. Eventually he was pried from Koki's hold and manoeuvred onto the centre seat of the sofa, a hot cup of tea placed into his hands. “Ok, start from the beginning.”
He took a moment, distracting himself by blowing on his tea, and then taking a small sip before letting out a sigh. “We've been fighting a lot...for a while now...since he...proposed. He's been pushing for so much, for us to get married and move in together, and it's not that I don't want to, but we've got to be realistic right? And careful...”
All three nodded sympathetically but it was Kame that spoke “It's ok, I get it, you do need to be careful...”
“Careful.” Ueda repeated, this time thinking of something else. “Things were already tense and then Mayuko-san showed up again..eight months pregnant.”
Maru gasped while the other two continued to stare at him wide-eyed. “He's not...”
“No.” Ueda revealed, shaking his head. “She didn't know who the father was, and she wanted him to take a paternity test...the baby isn't his but for a while we didn't know and it was very confusing for the both of us.”
“Did you want it to be his?” Koki asked.
He shook his head, but it wasn't a denial. “I don't know, we didn't talk about it. I don't think either of us wanted too but I just...I didn't give him chance, we barely saw each other. And about the baby...I think we both did and didn't at the same time. I mean...I want to have children and he does too but we can't...and we accepted that...and it would kill me a little to know that they had a baby together...”
“So what happened tonight? Last night should I say...” Maru pushed. “You fought...”
“We only just found out...the results came back, and I was in shock, and confused and I snapped at him. I shouldn't have done, I should have comforted him, and been there to reassure him...but I was confused and angry and there really couldn't have been a good outcome to the situation...”
“You said you broke up with him?”
Ueda nodded, ashamed, and his voice was quieter, shakier when he spoke again. “I was really upset, and I'd been trying so hard not to think about everything that was going on. And then everything just got too much and I didn't know what I wanted apart from that I wanted it to stop hurting so much...” He'd been distracted somewhat by filling the others in, but it was coming back to the reason they were here. “I told him I didn't want to see him any more, and he left and I can't find him now...”
“How long ago did he leave?” Kame asked, his face now concentrated.
“A while ago, before 9pm. I woke up at 3am and tried calling him, when he didn't answer I came here and there was no sign of him.” Kame nodded contemplatively.
“We all tried calling him too...there was no answer, but I don't think it's anything to worry about...he's probably just taking a bit of time to himself...”
“We'll keep trying, and when it gets a little later we can call around, see if anybody has heard from him.” Maru added.
“Yeah, and in the meantime we could drive around, see if he's gone to any places you like to hang out, if he's at the jimusho or one of the studios or something...”
Ueda nodded, his chest still aching, but soothed a little by their reassurances. “Thanks guys, I really appreciate it...I just want to know that he's ok, and to tell him that I'm sorry...”
Kame wrapped an arm around him. “Don't worry, we'll find him.”
Maru and Koki went together, driving around the work buildings they thought Taguchi could have gone to, checking the parking lots for his car and Ueda with Kame, checking their more personal hangouts, the billiards club, the gym, the park, but there was no sign of him.
At almost 7am Kame's phone rang and the two of them looked at each other, Kame was driving and Maru knew to call Ueda's phone, and there was no other reason for anyone to be calling that early. The number was unknown so Kame set it to hands free and answered the call hesitantly.
“Kame?” came a familiar voice, though not the one Ueda had been hoping to hear. “It's Ohno, I just saw on the news...is Taguchi-kun alright?”
Ueda's eyes widened and Kame swallowed thickly. “What do you mean? What was on the news?”
“You haven't heard? I mean...I guess they didn't say that it was him but I recognise his car from that time we went fishing...”
“What happened?” Ueda interrupted, desperate to know where Taguchi was.
“It's on the news because of the traffic delays...his car is wrapped around a lamp-post somewhere outside of Yokohama.
Chapter 19 | Chapter 21
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Please don't hate me guys T_T Things got way melodramatic! The good news is that I've almost finished writing this part, there are 22 chapters in all, and then if you aren't sick of it yet I'll start on part 5 >_<