(no subject)
i think that i have my own form of seasonal affected depressed (s.a.d.) that i have just made up. it's that i get so depressed when i just think about the particular season that it is and what it means to me and all that it has been in the past. spring summer fall winter all have accompanying songs and records that make it even worse. today i am listening to adore by the smashing pumpkins and by the first six seconds into the first song, i was ruined. i pressed my fingers against my eyeballs as hard as i could comfortably stand so there wouldn't be any room for any tears to escape through, because i know they would if i had have let them. even though this album is technically a winter album for me, the first few days when it feels truly autumn-y are just as horrible as full blown winter, so it works today.
i remember two winters ago, i went for a walk after dinner. the snow was knee deep and it was still coming down. somehow the message that i was leaving was never relayed throughout the house, and my dad and marie went out shortly after i had left. i came back from my walk to realize i had forgotten my keys and all the doors were locked. i sat on my front porch, curled up in a ball of cold waiting for someone to come home. over an hour passed before they got back, i was frozen. they let me in and i ran to my room, to my bed, to my covers and listened to annie-dog over and over until i warmed up. this album is stuck in the winter. oh yeah and there are other things but let's not get into it. you know.
on a much more cheerful note, today is kandice's birthday! happy birthday man.
i remember two winters ago, i went for a walk after dinner. the snow was knee deep and it was still coming down. somehow the message that i was leaving was never relayed throughout the house, and my dad and marie went out shortly after i had left. i came back from my walk to realize i had forgotten my keys and all the doors were locked. i sat on my front porch, curled up in a ball of cold waiting for someone to come home. over an hour passed before they got back, i was frozen. they let me in and i ran to my room, to my bed, to my covers and listened to annie-dog over and over until i warmed up. this album is stuck in the winter. oh yeah and there are other things but let's not get into it. you know.
on a much more cheerful note, today is kandice's birthday! happy birthday man.