i just can't be sure i'll ever change
what a month, what a month. so little going on, yet so much running through my head.
i need an apartment. i'm pretty much over the commute; luckily it's only two days a week, but it's still a pain in my arse.
i need friends. well, correction- i need to reach out to friends. i've noticed in the last month or so that i've been isolating myself more than usual. it's not unlike me to spend a weekend at home just chilling and playing guitar, but it's been different the last couple of weeks. there'll be days where i do absolutely nothing productive and just sit around blasting music on the stereo. that's all fine and well. truthfully, i think everyone has/needs days like that. there comes a time to be social, though, and i'm not taking advantage of my free time at all. i always say 'oh, i'm so busy. i don't have time to hang out'. sometimes i'm telling the truth- essays, homework and working my ass off at the Stone. overall, though, i'm just using that as an excuse. i need to get off my butt and start hanging out with people. i can feel myself shutting down. the slightest bit of social interaction makes me feel like a government experiment that broke from solitary confinement.
i miss spending time with my friends. i miss talking to people on the phone and catching up with them. i miss just sitting around and watching movies. i miss having the occasional get together and bonding over illegal intoxication. i miss being the person people came to with their problems.
just thinking about it gets me down, because i know i have friends that care...i'm just making half assed attempts at keeping the friendships going. i need a good slap.
i can't remember the last time i hugged someone that wasn't a family member.
and i am dyyyying to make out with someone. well, not just anyone...but god. sometimes you just crave affection, you know?
"i only really wanted to be wanted by you"
p.s: and this is kind of odd, but lately i've been developing crush-like symptoms on girls. what's with that? i think i've given up hope on men that live in florida. there is a certain someone who kinda makes me giddy in texas, but it's a bit too complicated to push it. i hate distance.
i need an apartment. i'm pretty much over the commute; luckily it's only two days a week, but it's still a pain in my arse.
i need friends. well, correction- i need to reach out to friends. i've noticed in the last month or so that i've been isolating myself more than usual. it's not unlike me to spend a weekend at home just chilling and playing guitar, but it's been different the last couple of weeks. there'll be days where i do absolutely nothing productive and just sit around blasting music on the stereo. that's all fine and well. truthfully, i think everyone has/needs days like that. there comes a time to be social, though, and i'm not taking advantage of my free time at all. i always say 'oh, i'm so busy. i don't have time to hang out'. sometimes i'm telling the truth- essays, homework and working my ass off at the Stone. overall, though, i'm just using that as an excuse. i need to get off my butt and start hanging out with people. i can feel myself shutting down. the slightest bit of social interaction makes me feel like a government experiment that broke from solitary confinement.
i miss spending time with my friends. i miss talking to people on the phone and catching up with them. i miss just sitting around and watching movies. i miss having the occasional get together and bonding over illegal intoxication. i miss being the person people came to with their problems.
just thinking about it gets me down, because i know i have friends that care...i'm just making half assed attempts at keeping the friendships going. i need a good slap.
i can't remember the last time i hugged someone that wasn't a family member.
and i am dyyyying to make out with someone. well, not just anyone...but god. sometimes you just crave affection, you know?
"i only really wanted to be wanted by you"
p.s: and this is kind of odd, but lately i've been developing crush-like symptoms on girls. what's with that? i think i've given up hope on men that live in florida. there is a certain someone who kinda makes me giddy in texas, but it's a bit too complicated to push it. i hate distance.