Chapter 12: Interlude
chapter summary:
akanishi kazumi looked through the journal again
kame's letter to jin
The voices of stars disappear into the night
The grey moon shines fleetingly
Why did the sea that we swam in change colour in an instant?
I don't want to fall into deep sleep just like this... I want to feel you again...
When you feel lonely, I can't even be by your side
You experienced the pain of losing someone…
I pray that you will learn to grasp hold of another love in the future.
That's what I pray for...
If someday you are lost in the night…
And you suddenly look back that day with the sun that's too bright,
please remember my smiles.
The strength of our love turned even things to cry for into love...
Holding the weakness of love in my hands,
I am certain of these fragile bonds.
But I'll always watch over you, who is living right now,
My love, in my heart...
When you want to cry, and when you're sad, just remember me.
A place that we can get close…
That faraway summer day,
The warmth and the joy of living...
All in the heart…
(lyrics by shibasaki kou)
***
I flipped through the journal again.
Although Papa maintained it very well, the sides of the pages inevitably turned yellow with time. The ink writings were starting to fade, possibly because Papa had flipped through them countless times.
The contents inside this journal were not that organized. Most of the pages were made up of pieces of papers and little notes that recorded messages between Papa, Kamenashi and Pi. Kamenashi took the effort to paste them carefully onto the journal pages, and even made little comments or explanations to some of those notes. It was obvious that he treasured these messages.
“Kame-chan, don’t be angry… I’m not making fun of you! Kazumi is really cute! >”<””
“Stop that! I’m not a girl.”
“I know you are not a girl. But even if you’re a girl, you’ll be a very cute girl.”
***
Dearest Jin,
I don’t think I’ll have many opportunities left to share my feelings with you anymore. I’m running out of time. In the past, I could just take my own sweet time. But now, even if I want to, I don’t have that luxury of time anymore. Thus, there are some things that I have to tell you, so please bear with me and my naggings.
If you don’t listen to me, I’ll be very sad. You won’t want to see your turtle cry right…
Did you see the slips inside the journal?! You gave those slips to me a long time ago, and I kept all of them. As for the exact dates, I forgot! Don’t ask a sick person such difficult questions.
It only happens once in a blue moon that Akanishi Jin would actually make an apology… :)
I scolded you for calling me Kazumi previously, right? Actually I didn’t hate that name; I was just feeling shy about it. Didn’t you have enough by calling me that privately? Why did you have to call me that at public places like bus stops and or inside the jimusho…?
Sigh, you’re such a baka, I shouldn’t expect you to know that I was embarrassed about it…
I think Kazumi is a great name. Moreover, you’re the only one who can call me by that name. Even Pi can’t call me that. Are you feeling a little happier after knowing this?
Do you still remember that Myojo shoot we had? The photoshoot that I wore the sailorgirl uniform…
That was the first time I was called Kazumi. And I was perplexed why you were so excited about it because it was the staff who wrote that name.
Although the memories are a little blurred now, I can still remember acting silly with you then. The photographer had a shock when he saw me leaning onto you so intimately. Actually, I did that on purpose. I really wanted to behave intimately with you in front of everyone, because I was feeling worried from all the ambiguity. The ambiguity of our relationship. Come to think of it, I was very daring then…
Sigh, do you really think that I’m cute even if I’m a girl?
If I’m a girl, I will still like you as much. Although I got to know that you liked me too eventually, I truly regretted hiding my feelings from you for so long. We wasted so much time.
But then again, if I didn’t hide my feelings from you, I might not have known this gentle caring side of you.
I feel fortunate to have a chance to experience your love for me… I sincerely wish for you to achieve happiness too. It’s fine even if I’m not the one giving you your happiness in the end.
--
Chapter 12a: Promise
Dearest Jin,
Regardless whether we will be together forever... Regardless how long it will eventually take for our wounds to heal…
Please take care of yourself….
Promise me, even if I leave you in a very cruel way one day, please don’t forget your promise to me…
You must achieve happiness.
ok kame's letter entries are finally in~ they are represented in green.
chapter 13: http://thescarletscar.livejournal.com/6018.html
akanishi kazumi looked through the journal again
kame's letter to jin
The voices of stars disappear into the night
The grey moon shines fleetingly
Why did the sea that we swam in change colour in an instant?
I don't want to fall into deep sleep just like this... I want to feel you again...
When you feel lonely, I can't even be by your side
You experienced the pain of losing someone…
I pray that you will learn to grasp hold of another love in the future.
That's what I pray for...
If someday you are lost in the night…
And you suddenly look back that day with the sun that's too bright,
please remember my smiles.
The strength of our love turned even things to cry for into love...
Holding the weakness of love in my hands,
I am certain of these fragile bonds.
But I'll always watch over you, who is living right now,
My love, in my heart...
When you want to cry, and when you're sad, just remember me.
A place that we can get close…
That faraway summer day,
The warmth and the joy of living...
All in the heart…
(lyrics by shibasaki kou)
***
I flipped through the journal again.
Although Papa maintained it very well, the sides of the pages inevitably turned yellow with time. The ink writings were starting to fade, possibly because Papa had flipped through them countless times.
The contents inside this journal were not that organized. Most of the pages were made up of pieces of papers and little notes that recorded messages between Papa, Kamenashi and Pi. Kamenashi took the effort to paste them carefully onto the journal pages, and even made little comments or explanations to some of those notes. It was obvious that he treasured these messages.
“Kame-chan, don’t be angry… I’m not making fun of you! Kazumi is really cute! >”<””
“Stop that! I’m not a girl.”
“I know you are not a girl. But even if you’re a girl, you’ll be a very cute girl.”
***
Dearest Jin,
I don’t think I’ll have many opportunities left to share my feelings with you anymore. I’m running out of time. In the past, I could just take my own sweet time. But now, even if I want to, I don’t have that luxury of time anymore. Thus, there are some things that I have to tell you, so please bear with me and my naggings.
If you don’t listen to me, I’ll be very sad. You won’t want to see your turtle cry right…
Did you see the slips inside the journal?! You gave those slips to me a long time ago, and I kept all of them. As for the exact dates, I forgot! Don’t ask a sick person such difficult questions.
It only happens once in a blue moon that Akanishi Jin would actually make an apology… :)
I scolded you for calling me Kazumi previously, right? Actually I didn’t hate that name; I was just feeling shy about it. Didn’t you have enough by calling me that privately? Why did you have to call me that at public places like bus stops and or inside the jimusho…?
Sigh, you’re such a baka, I shouldn’t expect you to know that I was embarrassed about it…
I think Kazumi is a great name. Moreover, you’re the only one who can call me by that name. Even Pi can’t call me that. Are you feeling a little happier after knowing this?
Do you still remember that Myojo shoot we had? The photoshoot that I wore the sailorgirl uniform…
That was the first time I was called Kazumi. And I was perplexed why you were so excited about it because it was the staff who wrote that name.
Although the memories are a little blurred now, I can still remember acting silly with you then. The photographer had a shock when he saw me leaning onto you so intimately. Actually, I did that on purpose. I really wanted to behave intimately with you in front of everyone, because I was feeling worried from all the ambiguity. The ambiguity of our relationship. Come to think of it, I was very daring then…
Sigh, do you really think that I’m cute even if I’m a girl?
If I’m a girl, I will still like you as much. Although I got to know that you liked me too eventually, I truly regretted hiding my feelings from you for so long. We wasted so much time.
But then again, if I didn’t hide my feelings from you, I might not have known this gentle caring side of you.
I feel fortunate to have a chance to experience your love for me… I sincerely wish for you to achieve happiness too. It’s fine even if I’m not the one giving you your happiness in the end.
--
Chapter 12a: Promise
Dearest Jin,
Regardless whether we will be together forever... Regardless how long it will eventually take for our wounds to heal…
Please take care of yourself….
Promise me, even if I leave you in a very cruel way one day, please don’t forget your promise to me…
You must achieve happiness.
ok kame's letter entries are finally in~ they are represented in green.
chapter 13: http://thescarletscar.livejournal.com/6018.html