(no subject)
this week has gotten off to a weird start. yesterday, one of my good friends here found out that a friend of hers had died sunday night. it was incredibly saddening - and i had no clue what to do. i've never lost a friend before, so i can't really sympathize. but as i am an empathetic person, i think i did my best to be there for her. the whole situation left me feeling very reflective and morbid last night. when i got home, i just lay on my bed and stared at the wall for a long time. i started thinking about all of my friends, and what i would do if this happened to me. this thought made me cry. so i texted alice back and forth a few times to tell her what happened and that i loved her, and her responses helped a lot. i also talked to amanda on the phone, which helped immensely as well. especially with my friends spread out all over the world, if something happened to one of them i don't even know how long it would take me to find out - and secondly i would feel very alone so far from all the rest of them. circumstances like this get me thinking about the things i take for granted when it comes to my friends. as silly as this sounds, even though i'm quite certain amanda knows how i feel about her, i realized that when i speak to her i never tell her that i love her, and last night i felt like i couldn't get off the phone unless i had. i just want all my friends to know that i love them - especially the ones here who are facing troubled times. today in class i started writing a play to help me sort out how i'm feeling about the whole "dealing with death" issue. it helped a lot to get it down on paper actually. anyways, that's quite enough of that. i had a fun weekend, and hopefully this week will get better. i just need to clear my mind...