Part 2: PRAY
PRAY.
The exert from the book:
The following morning, I arrive right on time for the 4:00 AM meditation session which al- ways starts the day here. We are meant to sit for an hour in silence, but I log the minutes as if they are miles--sixty brutal miles that I have to endure. By mile/minute fourteen, my nerves have started to go, my knees are breaking down and I'm overcome with exasperation. Which is understandable, given that the conversations between me and my mind during meditation generally go something like this:
Me: OK, we're going to meditate now. Let's draw our attention to our breath and focus on the mantra. Om Namah Shivaya. Om Namah Shiv--
Mind: I can help you out with this, you know!
Me: OK, good, because I need your help. Let's go. Om Namah Shivaya. Om Namah Shi--
Mind: I can help you think of nice meditative images. Like--hey, here's a good one. Ima- gine you are a temple. A temple on an island! And the island is in the ocean!
Me: Oh, that is a nice image.
Mind: Thanks. I thought of it myself.
Me: But what ocean are we picturing here?
Mind: The Mediterranean. Imagine you're one of those Greek islands, with an old Greek temple on it. No, never mind, that's too touristy. You know what? Forget the ocean. Oceans are too dangerous. Here's a better idea--imagine you're an island in a lake, instead.
Me: Can we meditate now, please? Om Namah Shiv-
Mind: Yes! Definitely! But try not to picture that the lake is covered with . . . What are those things called--
Me: Jet Skis?
Mind: Yes! Jet Skis! Those things consume so much fuel! They're really a menace to the environment. Do you know what else uses a lot of fuel? Leaf blowers. You wouldn't think so, but-
Me: OK, but let's MEDITATE now, please? Om Namah--
Mind: Right! I definitely want to help you meditate! And that's why we're going to skip the image of an island on a lake or an ocean, because that's obviously not working. So let's ima- gine that you're an island in . . . A river!
Me: Oh, you mean like Bannerman Island, in the Hudson River?
Mind: Yes! Exactly! Perfect. Therefore, in conclusion, let's meditate on this im- age--envision that you are an island in a river. All the thoughts that float by as you're meditating, these are just the river's natural currents and you can ignore them because you are an island.
Me: Wait, I thought you said I was a temple.
Mind: That's right, sorry. You're a temple on an island. In fact, you are both the temple and the island.
Me: Am I also the river?
Mind: No, the river is just the thoughts.
Me: Stop! Please stop! YOU'RE MAKING ME CRAZY!!!
Mind (wounded): Sorry. I was only trying to help.
Me: Om Namah Shivaya . . . Om Namah Shivaya . . . Om Namah Shivaya . . .
----------Here there is a promising eight-second pause in thoughts. But then----------
Mind: Are you mad at me now?
My thoughts- am I the only one who talks to myself? Does this mean I'm schizo? Or I have multiple personalities? Or I have add or ocd or some sort of d? I’m not sure, but I know that reading this made me feel better. I feel like within us is a voice of reason, within all of us (except maybe when people are on drugs, then the voice of reason has a vaca) but at the end of the day we do know what the right thing to do is, but then, the thing is, do we do that thing? I know that I’ve been down for a while, I know I haven’t been doing much (other than gaining weight, haha) but I always knew deep down inside that I also needed this time. I needed to let a lot of pain get out and figure out where I wanted to go from here. I needed to sleep and do nothing. I needed to reflect. I clearly needed to read a lot. And I haven’t mapped it all out or anything, but I have figured out some things in these last three months. I have learnt the importance of being healthy, the importance of reading, the importance of my friendships (not sure I even need the pural), the importance of finding a job that I love, and of course without fail, the importance of traveling. The next few years are going to be a really interesting time in my life. And I haven’t made my bucket list for 30 but I know I'm going to accomplish great things by then. And I plan to take my voice with me. Sure at times it can be annoying when I'm trying to sleep and it just goes on and on, or when it says something and I disagree… in public! But maybe I'm just more in touch with my conscience, or maybe that voice of reason is a higher version of me, I have no idea. And I don’t need to justify it. I talk to myself, there I said it.
This part of the book just really made me laugh. I connected with it easily (perhaps too easily).The mind sometimes has a mind of its own, and it can be quite interesting trying to talk to it and make it see reason. Trying to argue with it can be quite the interesting conversation as well. For example, I do need that new pair of shoes.
No you don’t.
3 Things I am thankful for today
1. Bananas for breakfast
2. Turning the pillow over to its cool side
3. Waking up to the sun streaming in (even though its winter), it makes me remember the hot days!
The exert from the book:
The following morning, I arrive right on time for the 4:00 AM meditation session which al- ways starts the day here. We are meant to sit for an hour in silence, but I log the minutes as if they are miles--sixty brutal miles that I have to endure. By mile/minute fourteen, my nerves have started to go, my knees are breaking down and I'm overcome with exasperation. Which is understandable, given that the conversations between me and my mind during meditation generally go something like this:
Me: OK, we're going to meditate now. Let's draw our attention to our breath and focus on the mantra. Om Namah Shivaya. Om Namah Shiv--
Mind: I can help you out with this, you know!
Me: OK, good, because I need your help. Let's go. Om Namah Shivaya. Om Namah Shi--
Mind: I can help you think of nice meditative images. Like--hey, here's a good one. Ima- gine you are a temple. A temple on an island! And the island is in the ocean!
Me: Oh, that is a nice image.
Mind: Thanks. I thought of it myself.
Me: But what ocean are we picturing here?
Mind: The Mediterranean. Imagine you're one of those Greek islands, with an old Greek temple on it. No, never mind, that's too touristy. You know what? Forget the ocean. Oceans are too dangerous. Here's a better idea--imagine you're an island in a lake, instead.
Me: Can we meditate now, please? Om Namah Shiv-
Mind: Yes! Definitely! But try not to picture that the lake is covered with . . . What are those things called--
Me: Jet Skis?
Mind: Yes! Jet Skis! Those things consume so much fuel! They're really a menace to the environment. Do you know what else uses a lot of fuel? Leaf blowers. You wouldn't think so, but-
Me: OK, but let's MEDITATE now, please? Om Namah--
Mind: Right! I definitely want to help you meditate! And that's why we're going to skip the image of an island on a lake or an ocean, because that's obviously not working. So let's ima- gine that you're an island in . . . A river!
Me: Oh, you mean like Bannerman Island, in the Hudson River?
Mind: Yes! Exactly! Perfect. Therefore, in conclusion, let's meditate on this im- age--envision that you are an island in a river. All the thoughts that float by as you're meditating, these are just the river's natural currents and you can ignore them because you are an island.
Me: Wait, I thought you said I was a temple.
Mind: That's right, sorry. You're a temple on an island. In fact, you are both the temple and the island.
Me: Am I also the river?
Mind: No, the river is just the thoughts.
Me: Stop! Please stop! YOU'RE MAKING ME CRAZY!!!
Mind (wounded): Sorry. I was only trying to help.
Me: Om Namah Shivaya . . . Om Namah Shivaya . . . Om Namah Shivaya . . .
----------Here there is a promising eight-second pause in thoughts. But then----------
Mind: Are you mad at me now?
My thoughts- am I the only one who talks to myself? Does this mean I'm schizo? Or I have multiple personalities? Or I have add or ocd or some sort of d? I’m not sure, but I know that reading this made me feel better. I feel like within us is a voice of reason, within all of us (except maybe when people are on drugs, then the voice of reason has a vaca) but at the end of the day we do know what the right thing to do is, but then, the thing is, do we do that thing? I know that I’ve been down for a while, I know I haven’t been doing much (other than gaining weight, haha) but I always knew deep down inside that I also needed this time. I needed to let a lot of pain get out and figure out where I wanted to go from here. I needed to sleep and do nothing. I needed to reflect. I clearly needed to read a lot. And I haven’t mapped it all out or anything, but I have figured out some things in these last three months. I have learnt the importance of being healthy, the importance of reading, the importance of my friendships (not sure I even need the pural), the importance of finding a job that I love, and of course without fail, the importance of traveling. The next few years are going to be a really interesting time in my life. And I haven’t made my bucket list for 30 but I know I'm going to accomplish great things by then. And I plan to take my voice with me. Sure at times it can be annoying when I'm trying to sleep and it just goes on and on, or when it says something and I disagree… in public! But maybe I'm just more in touch with my conscience, or maybe that voice of reason is a higher version of me, I have no idea. And I don’t need to justify it. I talk to myself, there I said it.
This part of the book just really made me laugh. I connected with it easily (perhaps too easily).The mind sometimes has a mind of its own, and it can be quite interesting trying to talk to it and make it see reason. Trying to argue with it can be quite the interesting conversation as well. For example, I do need that new pair of shoes.
No you don’t.
3 Things I am thankful for today
1. Bananas for breakfast
2. Turning the pillow over to its cool side
3. Waking up to the sun streaming in (even though its winter), it makes me remember the hot days!