My So Called Life
This sucks. Completely and thoroughly sucks. When I got home Friday, first there were hugs, letting me know the 'rents were glad I got back safely. Then came the lectures. I tried to explain why I had thought going to the Bahamas was a good idea at the time, and that I did call to say where I was and that I was okay. And that they said it was okay that I was there. They didn't seem to care about any of that. I SO wasn't gonna tell them about the fake ID and the drinking, cause they were freaking hard core about me just being out of the country with Nick (the fact that I was also there with the psychopath that nearly killed me didn't make anything any better)
On top of it they are convinced that Nick and I had sex. I guess I shouldn't have pointed out that if he and I were gonna have sex anytime soon, that we didnt need to go to the Bahamas to do so. That comment got me mandatory mass for the next couple of months, before all this happened, going was starting to be my choice. Plus I have to talk to the Father so I can be told of the evils of premarital sex. Confession is a must and I'm sure there will be acts of contrition. All for something I didn't freaking do. Oh yeah and I am not allowed to be "alone" with Nick for the time being. He can come over to see me when my parents are home, and I can go out in group settings. But technical dates are banned til further notice. For the stuff I did do, like um leave the country and stuff, I am grounded til further notice.
I am allowed to work. I went into work Saturday, And although Anya gets the whole everyone was insane thing, I still have to work for two weeks for free, to pay back the money she gave me. Which is fine, works the only place I can go that my parents aren't hovering over me, but still a little with the unfair. I didn't know she was insane too when I spent it. Plus now theres all these "slayers" hanging around working, probably for free without it being some punishment. If they are still hanging around when my two weeks are up, Anya probably will realize she doesn't need me and fire me.
Plus? I can't go to Willow and Tara to continue learning the witch stuff. Its not like I could tell the 'rents where I go on Wednesdays, they would SO not understand. I barely stayed out of some antiquated all girls catholic school by the skin of my teeth. If they knew that I was a witch, I would get a one way ticket away from everything I have here. So for the time being I have to just forget learning any more.
Then theres school. I went back today. Snyder was his weasely self. Nick and I got two weeks detention plus saturday school all month. At which we will be scrubbing and repainting the grafitti of the outside of the building. I don't think he knows it was us who did it, cause if he did I'm sure he would have given us more detention. Its kinda like kharma came back and slapped us in the face. I would be more upset about it, but I get to be with Nick, so I'll take what I can get.
The only think I sort of lucked out on is that I don't have to join 4~H. I love Nick, and I'm gonna miss every second that I can't spend with him. But getting stuck in 4~H would have not have been fun. Snyder saw that I was already involved in choir and with drama. Mr. Stafslein stood up for me and said I was way over extended with extracurriculars. He also ran interference with Momma and Daddy, and convince them that choir and drama were good wholesome after school activities. They agreed I didn't have to quit. I could have hugged him right then and there, if you know hugging teachers wasn't creepy and stuff. It really the only good thing that has happened the past few days.
Oh yeah and at some point when I was gone? Mom decided to be little miss career girl. She, the perfect mom who stayed home with her children and stuff, went out and gotta a job. Now doesn't that prove that we all went a little crazy? She never ever wanted to work before. And Gabby was saying that Daddy like stopped working during this weird phase. He was all being the perfect housewife, or would that be house husband? Anyways...Daddy NEVER cleans the house and Momma NEVER works and I NEVER go to the Bahamas. Can't they see that they were just as caught up in whatever happened as I was??? Well apparently Momma likes working and is gonna keep doing it now that Gabby is going to school. And luckily Daddy went back to work before I got home. Cause Dude! if I saw Daddy vaccumming, I'd be looking for the the 4 horsemen to come riding in.
Carlos got off pretty much scott free. He got bit by a vamp, but since he can't really tell Momma and Daddy that, he let them assume Sera did it to him. Sera is now girfriend non grata around here. Yet I don't see him having to talk to our priest. And..and .and!!!!! Him and Sera came closer to getting it on than me and Nick ever did, that night at the bar they kicked us out so the could get their wild thing on. And I have to go and confess to crap I didn't even do. Whatever! I so should have busted him for working where he works and serving minors liquor and being Mr hormones with his girlfriend. But did I? NO. Why? I haven't the slightest idea. Am I bitter and spiteful? Yeah a little bit.
Okay. I don't know how I feel about this. When we were driving back from the airport, Marcus said that Amber is a slayer, like Buffy. So she's got like these super human ass kicking strengths now. So what does her brother, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend, average normal non superhumans think they need to do? follow her and protect her!! The Hell? I don't know what bugged me more. That it was so completely sexists, like cause she's a girl, even though she has SUPER POWERS, she needs these guys to protect her.
Or the fact that Nick had a cow about me getting myself into dangerous situations. But it's perfectly okay for him to do the same thing and like I dunno I felt like my thoughts on the matter didn't count for anything. Like he could pat me on the head and say "I'll be careful" and that was the end of discussion. He has worse luck with vamps than I do and he's gonna run out there "protecting" Amber? All that talking we did on the beach, about how we don't want to loose each, and I'm suppose to be okay with him patrolling with a vampire slayer? I just feel kinda weird about it. And it's not like I can talk to him about it. And I know I said I was going along too, but with the grounding and stuff, I can't.
And then there's Josh. I havent allowed myself to think about him much. But seeing as how I sat in my room with only myself for company this weekend, I had nothing but time to think about everything. Its hard to believe that the same Josh who has um..well tried to kill me a number of times, among other things, was the same Josh who was laughing and having fun with hanging out with us. I..I just can't believe I summoned him. Even if I was crazy or under the influence of some massive cosmic event, I still should have been deathly afraid of him. Now I have pissed him off even more. Somewhere deep down I know he's gonna try to come after me again. I'm just grateful for these charms Cristoff made for me and mine really work. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if they didn't.
I just wish there was someone I could talk to about all this. I'm kinda feeling alone right now. Did I mention how much life sucks right now?