Ozzy Osbourne Would Be Proud
So, last night, Zimmy goes to bed and I'm downstairs sending my brother an email. My cat turns the corner to go down into the basement and I hear him run down the steps, followed by a very loud squeaking sound. He bolts back up the steps and underneath the kitchen table. I'm thinking, "Oh shit. He's found a mouse." Wrong! It's this fucking bat! A bat! I'm like, "What the hell do I do with this thing!?"
At first, I tried to figure-out a way to trap it and get it out of the house alive. Well, needless to say, this bat was pretty fucking worked up and THAT brilliant idea of mine pissed it off even more. I've never had a bat swoop down on my head inside a tiny stairwell and it's not an event I want to experience again. It finally lands on the top step--just on the other side of the door, with me a few steps below it. I realized now that there's nothing I can do but kill it. But how?
Then I remembered that Zimmy had a machete sitting upstairs that he used to hack apart some undergrowth in the back yard. Carefully, I tip-toe around the bat and get the machete. I enter the stairwell again, slowly walk down about three steps, line up the machete with my eye, and--WHAM--drop the blade and slice off that bat's head quicker than you can say, "Holy fucking shit!" It was a clean cut with very little blood and it happened so fast, that bat had no idea what happened. One minute, he's panting in the stairwell and the next, he's chasing moths in Heaven. Clean-up was a cinch and now my cat can use his lavatory in peace.
Like I said, Ozzy would be proud! lol.
At first, I tried to figure-out a way to trap it and get it out of the house alive. Well, needless to say, this bat was pretty fucking worked up and THAT brilliant idea of mine pissed it off even more. I've never had a bat swoop down on my head inside a tiny stairwell and it's not an event I want to experience again. It finally lands on the top step--just on the other side of the door, with me a few steps below it. I realized now that there's nothing I can do but kill it. But how?
Then I remembered that Zimmy had a machete sitting upstairs that he used to hack apart some undergrowth in the back yard. Carefully, I tip-toe around the bat and get the machete. I enter the stairwell again, slowly walk down about three steps, line up the machete with my eye, and--WHAM--drop the blade and slice off that bat's head quicker than you can say, "Holy fucking shit!" It was a clean cut with very little blood and it happened so fast, that bat had no idea what happened. One minute, he's panting in the stairwell and the next, he's chasing moths in Heaven. Clean-up was a cinch and now my cat can use his lavatory in peace.
Like I said, Ozzy would be proud! lol.