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bonjour,
...
ya i dont know why the fuck i said that.
woot im in lebanon ya 'all
were the cows run rampint
and the smell of dog and cat piss fill the air.
i love this place.
anyways anyways.
i just wanted to tell everyone ive finally fixed myself.
well actualy thanks to the lovely and gracious dallis,
i am now curred of my major burdens.
ive been ( Read more... )
hahaha.
i love fucking you too!
i mean... woah woah... i fucking love you too!!!
lol.
i know that we already had this longass conversation on the phone and i started crying and blah blah and we got back on track and had incredible phone sex... i mean... wait..........?!
anyways, even though we talked about it and i knew all this already :D it brings a smile to my face when i think of you as better... as the real kinan... and when i can remember those good times and look forward to new ones rather than be nostalgic and angry that there will never be memories like it again. it makes me so incredibly happy... yet makes me miss you more cuz by the time all this good stuff happened, you were leaving for your homeland and i was leaving... for in fact my homeland [new york]. i sent letters from the big apple to your house, but you probably wont get them till like school starts, if even then.
also i should say sorry...
the last month or so of school was soooooo incredibly horrible. it was so hard to walk right by you and not say anything... to have to look at you and look away yet wanna run up to you and hug you. i did give up hope, and for that im sorry. i'm also sorry that i listened to everything you said, cuz thats what hurt. i found myself believing that everything you said was true and in turn gave up on you. it was horrible to had to have stick by you ALL THAT TIME and be the last one standing, and then to just be defeated, and then when i thought i was- it turned out that i wasn't and the smog just needed to clear before i could see that i really did win by standing by you... aaaaaaaand im spent.
come home soon chumito! i hope youre listening to the cd's i gave you! and you better not loose my picture biotch!
miss you, love you, fuck you... er. i mean i love you.
the end.
xo
your pumpkin... pie... with whipped cream... and ice cream.
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