[One-shot] Messages (Part 1)

Mar 27, 2010 22:04



Title: Messages
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.
Summary: Nino just couldn't see where his love could lead to. He lost in his own maze, until one day...

A/N: This is beta-ed by potatoos , thank you very much, even though you were so busy you still helped me so much *hug*. Hope you will enjoy this, minna-san... ^^. Comments are really really love <3 <3


Sometimes he felt so helpless. Nino slipped away from the green room, tried not be noticed by the other members, and silently walked home. He couldn’t think clearly. These weird, strange feelings just grew inside his heart and became deeper with each passing day. He had thought that it was just a crush and would definitely go away, then things would return to normal. But he gradually realized that it wasn’t. Just the way he thought about him was different, and even he was surprised of that. Somehow, the feelings became something so serious, so special that he just wanted to hold it tightly in his hands, to seize it from the vague meanings and embrace it as if there was nothing more important. He wanted to cosset it, caress it as if it was the most fragile presence in the world. He wished he could, in some way, sort out all these things around him and find out if he was really in love.

His phone vibrated, signaling a coming text. He flipped open his phone , and his heart skipped a beat when he looked at the name on the screen. It still was early in the evening, but because they had finished work earlier than they thought, they decided to go for a drink. However Nino thought he wasn’t in the mood for a drink right now. He needed time and a place to think.

From: Riida

Subject: Where’re you?

We’re going out. Where’re you?

He sighed. His short fingers - the ones which he had said that he loved, even though Nino himself thought they were so ugly - glided on the keypad as he typed the reply.

From: Nino

Subject: Re: Where’re you?

I’m going home. Sorry, just go without me. I’m tired.

He stuffed his phone into his jacket pocket, shivering in the cold wind. Winter was coming, he thought as he looked at the sky. He didn’t like winter, as it was too cold and it brought loneliness. For a long time, the world stayed black and white and it was too monotonous. The snow soon would come. Everything soon would be frozen. It always drove him into lost, Nino thought, he could never think clearly when it was winter. He preferred spring, of course, when all the sorrowful colors go away, and the motley world would return again.

His phone vibrated again. He couldn’t help but felt a little warmth from within himself. Since when did receiving a message made him this happy? Since when did seeing a bright smile could make him so cheerful for the whole day? Since when did holding a gentle hand could make his heart race in his chest involuntarily as he couldn’t control himself but grinning shyly?

From: Riida

Subject: Re: Re: Where’re you?

Are you okay?

Just like Riida, Nino chuckled. Brief, but caring, and gentle. Riida was type of person who would never bother to stick his nose into other’s business, but would simply stand there waiting in case someone needed his help, and when asked, would give his best. That was why Nino loved him: he was careful, but he would never show it to the others.

From: Nino

Subject: I’m okay.

Don’t worry. Just something that bothers me. I need to rest. Good night. See you tomorrow.

That was the way they communicated. Simple and brief; but full of concern for each other. That made Nino feel at ease with Ohno around, Nino smiled to himself when reminiscing the nice feeling when Ohno was around him, touching and holding hands and hugging or even kissing. Whether it was true or not, or just for fan service, Nino felt himself waiting for these to happen everyday. These were the happiest moments of his days, and, somehow, evoked a melody inside his heart that he  could never write it down. It was Nino’s and just Nino’s song, not anyone else’s. It made his life a little better, nicer, and happier, with Ohno beside him, smiling at him, doing stupid things together, and being just the way they were.

Nino sighed when he recognized that his world started to revolve around an ambiguous universe  in which Ohno was the center. Ohno was the energy, the light, and the vigour for his tiny world, and Nino came to find himself deeply in love with the one he wasn’t supposed to be in love with.

------------------------------------------------

That was the day when Nino found out that Ohno was obviously in love.

He wasn’t surprised, he had always known that this day would come, and at about this time. He couldn’t tell who was it, because Ohno was a master in hiding his private life. Even his best friends in Arashi could tell that he was in love, but no one could guess who she was. Nino found his chest starting to tighten in the most unbearable way, and at the most unexpected moments. Somehow these became the most familiar feelings for him these days.

Nino loved Ohno’s face when he was in love though. It was shining, as if it was a sun brightening everything around it by the most charming and warm light. Nino loved Ohno’s smile when he was in love too. It was sweet, full of happiness and dreamy at the same time. Ohno seemed to space out more often than ever, and he had also began smiling unconsciously  - or maybe because Nino didn’t know what was going on inside Ohno’s mind - and holding his hands nervously sometimes. His eyes couldn’t hide its sparkle, he was obviously happy.When Ohno was in love, he became bright, warm, and lovely.

Nino couldn’t help but feel his own heart hurting. His heart beat faster whenever he saw Ohno’s happy expression and he couldn’t help feeling miserable when he realized that it was because he was in love. He couldn’t help it when he became jealous and angry with a confused Ohno at times - he would then appologize and use being tired as an excuse. Ohno would always smile understandingly and forgive him, without asking for his reason. This made Nino angry at times, and he felt like Ohno didn’t care about him. However, he couldn’t give his feelings away. He didn’t want Ohno to figure out his unrequited love, because he definitely refused, and after that Ohno couldn’t be easy when around him. Ohno would regret about it, as much as Nino did, and they might never be friends again.

All these thoughts made Nino down day after day, but even he didn’t recognize it, until Ohno noticed this  and tried to ask Nino why he was so tired and since when did he have dark circles under his eyes? Nino simply replied that he had some new games and was trying to finish the final round and how it was really hard to win it, and Ohno believed him, as easy as he always did without any other question.

-----------------------------

- If it hurts you so much, isn’t it better for you to confess? - Jun asked Nino one day when Ohno was at the middle of a personal shooting, and the rest was hanging around in their greenroom. Nino didn’t look up to see Jun’s worried face, and his hands were still playing on his DS mindlessly. He smiled.

- What is the point in doing that?

- To release you from all that stupid thinking - Jun shook his head - You look so terrible these days, I really can’t understand why that guy did even not notice it!

- He did - Nino said softly. The boss was attacking, but Nino was hardly focusing on beating it - But I cut him off. I had no choice, did I?

- You’re silly - Jun said quietly, more to himself than to Nino, who still refused to raise his head - Both of you.

- Nino shrugged, then returned to attacking the boss. His energy was almost drained, and he gritted his teeth in frustration when his character died dramatically for the third time - Do you have a better suggestion?

- Go and confess - Jun raised his eyebrows - Scream into his face that you love him.

- Then get rejected and a soured friendship? - Nino answered sarcastically - Thanks, but no. I don’t want to trade a friendship for a stupid fragile one-sided love.

- That’s not stupid - Jun frowned, but he seemed a little hurt from the cold-hearted words - Why would you ever think so?

- I have thought so since the beginning - Nino winced - I’ve never accepted it in my mind though. What’s this, falling for my best friend? I just couldn’t see where this would lead to!

- Might not be that bad - Jun tried to comfort his friend.

- It’s worse than that - Nino sighed - I appreciate your help, Jun, but please, let it be unspoken forever, okay? I’d find the way through it. I’ll definitely find the way to get over him… to forget all of this.

- Nino… - Jun wanted to protest, but gave up - Okay. Just remember, we’re always on your side.

- Thank you - Nino chuckled, and gave up playing on his DS since it was the fifth time he was defeated. Immediately after he took out his cards, Ohno stepped into the greenroom, a sleepy smile in his face. Nino’s heart started to beat wildly in his chest, and he became miserable when he realized that it was still going to be a long time before he could really get over Ohno.

- Eh? You’re doing magic?

Ohno said cheerfully and sat down, staring at Nino’s cards amusingly and waited. Nino could feel his cheeks starting to blush and he grinned involuntarily like a stupid schoolboy in love. He forgot all about his troubles, and began to show Ohno some of his new tricks. Jun walked past them and disappeared behind the door, in which Nino knew Aiba and Sho were waiting from. They wanted to give Nino a chance to be alone with Ohno, but, since he had no intention to confess, it was peaceful for now just being with Ohno.

--------------------------------------

Ohno was more in love than ever. Nino could conclude after watching him each day. He could sometimes hear Ohno sing without realising it, and sometimes even caught Ohno skipping down the hall. The older guy definitely had some happy moments with his love, Nino assumed. He might have went out with her one day, and had a great time together, and might have confessed. She might’ve accepted him and now they were the happiest couple in the world. Nino couldn’t stop himself from thinking about that, nor his gaze on the absentminded guy who was sitting next to him but it felt like he was somewhere else, not here. Nino could feel his heart sink to somewhere inside his stomach, he could feel his chest hurt annoyingly whenever he thought about it. He could feel his body had no motivation to move, his mind no energy to work, and his legs unable  to support himself. He found himself usually holding onto something to support himself, and mostly it was Ohno’s arms. This caused a sudden electric current passing through his core, and he immediately jolted his hand away from a confused and worried Ohno, and tried to cover up with a fake smile that he knew Ohno noticed.

From: Riida

Subject: Are you okay?

You’re too pale these days. What happened?

From: Nino

Subject: Daijoubu

Nothing. I’m okay.

From: Riida

Subject: Re: Daijoubu

… Are you trying to hide something?

From: Nino

Subject: Re: Re: Daijoubu

… Why must I?

From: Riida

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Daijoubu

Want to go out together? Just the two of us. I know a nice place. When you finish your interview tonight, we could go there.

From: Nino

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Daijoubu

It sounds nice. But I’m exhausted today. Could we go another day then?

From: Riida

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Daijoubu

…Okay, if you say so. Goodnight, Nino.

From: Nino

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Daijoubu

Goodnight, Riida.

Nino sighed. Wasn’t he supposed to be happy when Ohno asked him out? Just the two of them sounded nice… But Nino couldn’t find any other way to protect his heart from more hurt, except to reject it. He might enjoy Ohno’s company so much that he might become lost in his own maze forever and might never come back from it. It was simpler to run away from his true feelings, and to hide them with a smile so as to rid his desire to tell Ohno all about his feelings, and to hug and never let him go again.

It was just a dream, Nino smiled sarcastically. Ohno was just a dream, and since that dream was too real, too warm, too nice, too happy, and too bright, Nino didn’t want to return to the reality. He wanted to stay in that dream forever, so that he could hold Ohno tightly and never let him go, could embrace him as if he was the most precious person. Well, Ohno was the most precious one to him.

----------------------------------

From: Riida

Subject: I want to meet you

Why are you so busy these days? It’s hard to catch you anymore. Do you have time to go somewhere together?

From: Nino

Subject: Re: I want to meet you

Yes, I am extremely busy. Gomen ne. The schedule for the up-coming drama is killing me. I don’t know if I’m free.

From: Riida

Subject: Really?

… Ganbatte ne! I hope it will finish soon. We’ll meet later at Shukudai’s filming then. Have a nice day~

From: Nino

Subject: Thanks

Have a nice day then, Riida.

It had been nearly a month since they last met. Nino knew he couldn’t fill the void in his heart by himself, and being apart from Ohno just made it worse. With each passing day his heart became wounded before it got healed, and the pain spreading across his body, starting from his heart. He stood in front of the mirror to find a stranger staring back at him with tired eyes, a fake smile, and an exhausted body which could collapse anytime. He blamed himself for causing trouble  for the other Arashi members. They were so worried about him that Aiba called him everyday just to ask if he wanted something, and Sho bought him some new games (that he had already played them, but Sho didn’t know), even Jun gave him a flashy jacket, which he knew was his favourite, and told him to use it since he always left his at home. Nino was so grateful for their concern, but he just couldn’t bring himself back to normal, to when he hadn’t fall for Ohno yet, and when he could truly smile.

- Ohno is in love - Aiba announced with worried eyes.

- You just found out?- Nino shrugged when shuffling his cards - Too late.

- Is that okay, Nino? - Sho asked gently.

- Yeah - Nino lied. There was no way that’s okay, but what could he do about it?

- You should tell him your feelings, really - Sho advised - He needs to know that. Isn’t it too cruel let you be so miserable without even realising it?

- That’s not his fault - Nino grunted - It’s me who wanted to keep it a secret. And I have said before that I don’t want to lose him… as a friend.

- But if you continue like this, you can’t move on - Jun said, angry was evident in his voice, that Nino knew Jun was losing his patience - Do you not think that you are causing us trouble?

- … - Nino couldn’t say anything. He blamed himself countless times but this was the first time that his friends pointed this out. He knew he was wrong. And he knew he must fix it as soon as possible. He just didn’t have the courage to do so. Not yet. But if it was harmful for Arashi, it must stop. Right now.

- We don’t blame you if you think we do - Jun said as if he could read Nino’s mind - I just want to remind you that you have Arashi. You have your life. You need to move on. And the best way is, to tell him, get rejected or whatever you want to call it, and move on with your life. You’ve suffered enough for this!

Nino was silent for a moment. Then he sighed in defeat. He put back his cards into his pocket, stood up and looked at his best friends with tired eyes.

- I know that. I’m sorry for being so troublesome. I’ll do what you tell me to. Confess, and get rejected. That’s how things go, right?

And he stepped out of the door, without looking back at his friend to see their worried faces. They didn’t deserve this. He couldn’t drag them into his problems. He must deal with it, no matter what.


Part 2


genre: romance, p: ohmiya, rating: pg-13, one-shot, fanfic

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