(no subject)

May 22, 2003 01:53

I just finished the take-home final for my English class. It mainly consisted of an essay. I have issues with essays. I think this one turned out pretty good, though.

Generally, once I've got a good start, it isn't that bad. Getting started is always difficult, though, as I've written on many previous occasions.

Now, hopefully she'll be nice enough to pass me despite the other essay I haven't written. I can't even remember what exactly it was supposed to be about.

I have another final tomorrow (actually, later today) in the online class. Need to finish two small assignments before then, but I'm not too concerned about that. I can probably do both within about half an hour. I'm actually more worried about how to get them printed, seeing as the computer I used to print from at work is now in use by someone. I got an extension on the big project, since this whole moving thing proved to be more overwhelming than I expected. I hate that. I had really hoped I could make it through this class without screwing up anything. I've had very few classes where I haven't had to beg for an extension on something or other, and it really kills any feeling of accomplishment that I get out of the class, even if my end grade is good.

I think it was necessary, though. Having the pressure of the big project due today, as well as the two finals and the other small projects, probably would have kept me from napping this afternoon (which I desperately needed) and overwhelmed me to the point of not being able to get any of it done. At least, with the extension, I can focus on the smaller hurdles first and finish something, even if the project itself never gets done (not that there's any reason I shouldn't be able to finish it, once everything else is done and I have a few minutes to myself).

I just realized I forgot to finish my participation in the discussion boards for this week. Oh well, it is only five points, and I'm five points away from the maximum as it is. I find it hard to care about my grade at this point. As long as I pass, it doesn't matter. And I should. With no further work at all, I have a 61%. If I get a 50 on the final (which is at least 15 points lower than I've gotten on the other two tests) and finish the two small assignments, I'll have a 78% even without the final project. So there's no reason I can't get an A or B with minimal further effort.

As for moving, everything except what I need/want for the next month or so is packed up and on its way to VA. The apartment looks empty. And dirty. The thought of cleaning it terrifies me, given how I felt after sorting stuff on Monday (basically, like I'd been run over by a truck). I think I will have to hire a friend of mine who does housecleaning. Except her vacuum is broken, and mine is rapidly heading eastward. Oh well, we'll work it out.

It's all so strange. One week from now, I'll have technically graduated (still need to send in the paperwork), I'll no longer have a job, and I'll be living in a different state. Two more months, and I'll have a baby. Too much change, in too short a time.

And Buffy is over. As silly and inconsequential as it seems, it ties in with this feeling of incomprehensible change.

I'm curious as to how long it will take before it all starts feeling real. At the moment I'm rather dissociated from it - it's all just an academic exercise in major life change, not something I'm actually experiencing.

And now I must sleep so I can at least pretend to function at work/class tomorrow.

school, media, angst, moving, writer's block

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