feeling shitty

[there_is_hope08]

so yea i am feeling really shitty today. i keep gaining weight. i cant stop cutting. and i feel so worthless and unloved by everyone. i know i am loved by my parents but i wish i could feel loved by my friends. i hate seeing people i love hurting themselves. i hate seeing people i love in pain. and i hate myself. i dont know what to do. i am going bak into that cutting egde group in a month but until then i need help. i have therapy and shit but i need more. and i need to feel loved by my friends. i feel stupid and embarrases for reasons i cant state in here and i feel like i should die. i think i should die but i wont kill myself.i feel like an animal living in a cage and not being fed and i am the one doing that to myself. i am locking myself up and torturing myself. but people do sit and watch it. people are watching me hurt myself and slowing disappear and they sit and point saying im stupid or ignoring me saying im too diffucult. well maybe i am but people make it out that im too hrd to deal with but the only things my friends need to do to help me is sit with me and just stay quit or talk if im talking. and let me cry and scream and w/e. well im going... i feel so horrible right now. im feel like shit and i dont know what to do.

later,
emily