(no subject)
Today marks the one year anniversay of losing my nephew. Gabe was so little...smaller than Lukey. I remember being in 4th period Math in Society nearing the end of my senior year and getting a call to the office. I was so scared because I thought that my then 100 yr old grandma had died or was sick (she is still far from dead at 101) When I got to the office, Mom and Dad were there looking like death. This made me more scared. They just grabbed me and held me close and Dad just sobbed "WE LOST GABE!" Suddenly, I found myself practically holding up my parents in the busy school office. We hurriedly packed our things and drove to Knoxville.
He was so tiny. About the size Luke was when he was born. And he had beautiful red hair. But he was so cold.
Nobody expects someone so young to die. My brother and Joye had to go pick out a tiny coffin. The man told them they typically had the coffin already next to the grave. My brother asked how heavy it was. He said he wanted to carry his son to his grave.
That was the hardest thing I have ever seen. My big strong brother had a look of such pain on his face. My Dad and my oldest brother each walked beside him with a hand on his shoulder. While the funeral proceeded, there was a peacock chirping. There is a beautiful mansion next to the Gabe's gravesite. There is rolling fields, horses, stables, and woods surrounding him. They have peacocks that run around their property. Joye said that now she associates Gabe with peacocks because they are always squawking...his grave, or memory garden, as my 4 year old niece calls it, is such a perfect place for a little boy. They put his gravestone up today. Right now, there is a little pinwheel to mark his grave. They are going to release balloons this afternoon there with little notes inside that say "In loving memory of our little boy, Gabriel Taylor, returned to Heaven 5/19/04.
I was so scared till the very second Luke was born. We all were. It's silly, but we were all worried there was a curse on our family...that we weren't supposed to have little boys.
Today is happysad. Because Luke is here and safe and has turned around such a sad year. But I wish that he had a little red-headed boy cousin to play with.
Miss Lindsay Rae Bennett and B.
Your package arrived today in the post beautifully addressed with stickers. It came exactly when I needed it. The onesies and toys for Luke are just adorable, but the letter is what I cherish the most. If only I had time to write you one so lengthy back!! I was worried my absence from the computer had made me fall from your good graces, it makes me so happy to see I have not! Now that I have your address, expect something in the post in the near future from Luke and I! You must tell me what colors you are absolutely sick of and what you can tolerate. I also have some lovely things from when I was a baby. My Mommy didn't find out the sex with me so I have very cute uni-sex outfits. One especially that I adored on Luke but his legs are too long for it now if you would like to borrow it and others. They are in perfect shape because when Mommy saw I was a girl, everything had to be pink from then on. Oh yes, and I will try to get on AIM soon for a chit-chat!
Hearts and kisses,
Gretta and Baby Luke