Yep, this; I've seen lots and lots of men brush aside Rodger's misogyny because they say we should look at "the real issue" or "the big picture", as though misogyny isn't part of the big picture, or a real issue. I've seen men spend several pages of discussion talking about what the problem is and how it should be fixed without a single mention of the victims, either of Rodger's attacks or more generally of misogyny; instead, they focus on men's insecurity (which basically boils down to saying that if women were nicer to men, it wouldn't have happened). And when I've pointed out that actually, if we're going to talk about this (as we should) we need to talk about the people who are victimised, and we need to focus on their needs and not just those of the attackers, I've been accused of misandry, of thinking all men are murderers (huh?), and the like. All of which very clearly demonstrates the culture of male entitlement and misogyny which the #yesallwomen hashtag is intended to highlight.
Honestly, I'm finding the whole thing profoundly depressing. And it's also made me realise that I have those stories too, of harassment and groping and "boys will be boys", and I don't think I've ever even bothered to tell them to anyone.
(which basically boils down to saying that if women were nicer to men, it wouldn't have happened) I've seen this point made as well and it really raises my hackles. My entire insecure identity in high school hinged on "being nice to everyone" and if anything, it made them show their asses more. Because of course if I was nice to a young man that most people weren't friendly with, the only possible reason was that I was interested in them romantically or sexually. I was asked out and propositioned many times and of course whenever I turned them down I was accused of being a tease and ruining their life. I didn't realize that being a decent human being was actually volunteering to provide pity sex to anyone who wanted it!
And it's also made me realise that I have those stories too, of harassment and groping and "boys will be boys", and I don't think I've ever even bothered to tell them to anyone. It's actually been quite emotional for me reading some of these Tweets, realizing how much I recognize from my own experience. So much of it I just accepted as normal without thinking about it /:
All of which very clearly demonstrates the culture of male entitlement and misogyny which the #yesallwomen hashtag is intended to highlight.
Honestly, I'm finding the whole thing profoundly depressing. And it's also made me realise that I have those stories too, of harassment and groping and "boys will be boys", and I don't think I've ever even bothered to tell them to anyone.
Reply
Reply
I've seen this point made as well and it really raises my hackles. My entire insecure identity in high school hinged on "being nice to everyone" and if anything, it made them show their asses more. Because of course if I was nice to a young man that most people weren't friendly with, the only possible reason was that I was interested in them romantically or sexually. I was asked out and propositioned many times and of course whenever I turned them down I was accused of being a tease and ruining their life. I didn't realize that being a decent human being was actually volunteering to provide pity sex to anyone who wanted it!
And it's also made me realise that I have those stories too, of harassment and groping and "boys will be boys", and I don't think I've ever even bothered to tell them to anyone.
It's actually been quite emotional for me reading some of these Tweets, realizing how much I recognize from my own experience. So much of it I just accepted as normal without thinking about it /:
Reply
Leave a comment