Jan 17, 2008 08:09
So I was on espn.com yesterday, and I happened to read about Randy Moss denying allegations that he had assaulted a woman. Now, I make no claims about the man's guilt or innocence, but I would like to point out one salient fact: Randy Moss was sent to earth from outer space for some devious purpose, but his training lacked sufficient emphasis on earth syntax. Observe:
"I want to make something clear," Moss said. "In my whole entire life of living 30 years, I've never put my hand on one woman, physically or in an angry manner."
Well this relieves my worst fears. I never doubted that Moss had never physically laid hands on one woman, but I spent many a night trembling that he may have done so angrily. It does of course also raise some questions. Does he mean that he has never so much as touched a woman? Or does he rather mean that he has never touched just one woman at a time?
"I've always said time and time again, I'm going to stand up for what's right. If I'm right, I'm right. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong."
Umm, I don't think there's anything I can do to improve this quote.