(no subject)
i had some time on my hands today so i decided to meditate to try and relieve some stress and get some answers that i know can only come from inside myself i was having a hard time clearing my mind and not getting emotionally attached to my thoughts i was trying to acknowledge them but then let them go i was getting nowhere when suddenly i heard it that voice inside of you that you know is not your imagination no instead i knew that it was the god inside of me gently telling me that i was love as cheesy as that sounds i decided to be born so i could witness love yes we have a choice to be born i saw how much the trees enjoyed life and every other living thing and i wanted to witness it that is why i hurt when i dont receive love the way i give love my whole purpose to give love away to share in that expirence not hog it for myself not demand it from other people i ground people and i get my grounding the god within you want to call it Allah or God or Christ or the Spirit i call it my own strength to learn not to be selfish to know that no one has the power to control me so why am i so afraid of that to know that if i need help i have to first seek the one within to know that i cannot sit in judgment of how people live their life it is their choice and they have that right to know i felt alone because someone special taught me not to get caught in the crutches of life to not use religion as a way to fit in my friends are all over the country and i had nothing to fall back on except him but thats not his place to ground me thats what i do for him but i was left without something i felt out of control and didnt want to give control or what may be perceived as control to him but its not control that he wants but simply the illusion of it that if i love him enough i will give that to him that kindness is not weakness that no one has the power to control me i choose what i do for people for the first time in my life i feel liberated grounded happy and at rest with my life