Hurry up, boy.. better have you naked by the end of this song
I've been thinking about this for awhile. thinking about it in the kind of abstract way, like I do so often, where I'm not clearing thinking, just skimming over the thought. for so, so long I've dreamt and pondered and fantasized at the thought of leaving here. escaping to a big city surrounded by people, poetry readings, cafes, watching sunsets on top of big buildings or on park benches with the person I'm in love with. finding my one true love, that one person who makes my life seem incredibly blessed, that one person who makes me forget any other heartache, that one person who makes me feel ALIVE and complete.. finding that person when I leave here. I realized that I don't have to be in such a rush. I've been so caught up in searching for this life, this beautiful, perfectly constructed, life that I've forgotten how beautiful, and, though not perfectly constructed, perfectly perfect for me life that I already have. anything can be beautiful if we want it to be. some things are beautiful even if we don't want them to. it's all about HOW you see things, how you can perceive rain as beautiful. how you can perceive something that isn't normally seen as beautiful as beautiful. living here can be beautiful. I can sit on a picnic table and watch the sunset alone and that can be just as beautiful as watching it in new york city. it's the same sky, same intertwined pinks and soft oranges. if I close my eyes for just a brief moment, I can picture myself in new york city, amidst the chaos that a large city provides. perhaps the sunset is better here. while I'm alone and dreaming of somewhere else. because perhaps when I get to that somewhere else, it won't be as I pictured. not as beautiful- perhaps the dream is more beautiful. more fulfilling. I still dream and hope and pray that I'll be able to see new york city one day. that I'll travel the entire world, meet my soul mate, feel successful. but, I think I'll always be drawn back here. home. where my life is and where I can sit on picnic tables and see sunsets that make me feel beautiful because they are.