i am becoming the person i always tried to stay away from

[thepartleftout]

seriusly what the fuck am i doing with myself.. i refuse to go back into that rut i was in a while back.. I had everything i had priorities i cared about people i wasn't such a bitch and i actully cared when people were mad at me.. these days i feel like what im doing isn't going to get me newere in life. im 15 i am way to young to be dealing with this shit.. all i should be worring about is school friends and deciding when im going to take a shower.. I don't care about nebody not even myself.. and i can't be happy unless i am happy with myself first I mean I can't let nebody into my life if im not happy with the life im making for myself.. i lost the people i felt closest to and the people i am hanging out with now i just get myself into shit without even trying.. if u would have asked me my views on this a while back i would have said shut the fuck up u don't need that to make you happy, all u need is friends and ur set.. were did that go? were am i going? nowere... i think im gunna take a break start over see if certain people are still there for me in the end, not crossing my fingers.. i am a dissappointment i feel like im missing out by trying to grow up to fast.. i don't want to look back and regret decitions i make because we all no thats the worst thing.. you want what u can't have.. it's just the fact that i had everything and i was happy and now im just not.. it's just not worth it to me anymore

maybe i just miss to many people.. seeing them brought me to tears cuz i saw how much they were there for eachother.. and then theres me