A Leap of....?
Tomorrow I will take a huge leap. Tomorrow I leave a full time job with benefits to go back to subbing as a school counselor. I will be leaving a workplace that has stressed me out with no reward. I will be leaving a multitude of people who I feel are unethical, immoral, and who should not be educating anyone. But I'm also leaving a place that needed me. That sounds vain, but I promise it is sincere. I was a hard ass, a bitch. I came with tough love and high expectations. I didn't make it easy for students, but I made it worth it. At least that's what I think I did. The saying "teach a man to fish" was always in the back of my head. I felt like these people were being taken advantage of and while I couldn't very well tell them to walk away from everything they had already invested, I could help them make the most of it. So that's what I did for 13 months. And tomorrow I will be done. I am quite honestly counting down the hours until I am out of there. 4:30pm on the nose and I plan to walk out of those front doors. I hope to never, ever walk through them again. I am sad to be leaving some of the people, especially Randy and Kristen. I know they will be okay without me. But even as I say that and type that, I realize that they have not been there without me. Again, I don't want to sound cocky, but the 3 of us have been this intense team since the beginning. Sure, I was not fond of Randy initially. But we figured each other out. Now he's my work husband. I can't imagine not working with him. Daniel brought us together and for that I will always be grateful.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I am meant to leave CCSD and I am meant to go back to school counseling. I can feel it deep with in my soul that this is the right thing for me to do. That there is no better choice for me in life right now. But at the same time, I am terrified. I am 26 years old and I am willing leaving a stable, secure job with benefits to pursue my dream job at the same rate of pay (as long as I get work every day). But I am also quitting something for the very first time in my entire life. I can think of times when things ended naturally, like Girl Scouts or soccer or my first school counseling job. But to be quit honest, I have never really quit. This was my first resignation letter. My first conversation with a supervisor that I was leaving. I'm freaking out, but I am elated. I am a crazy mess of emotions.
Everyone says this is the right move (except my current boss who has asked me twice if I am really leaving), and I know that it is. But it is scary. It is scary to think that I, Miss Type A, planner, always-has-it-all-figured-out, that I only have it planned through Valentine's Day. Yup, my last day at the middle school I am starting Wednesday at will be Valentine's Day...note to any potential future significant other I have by February: it's 4 day weekend in the school districts and I'm going to be a mess, so you should plan something spectacular. Or just plan something. :)
Anyway, that's the big work update in my life. The personal life to be updated soon enough. One big thing at a time please. :)
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I am meant to leave CCSD and I am meant to go back to school counseling. I can feel it deep with in my soul that this is the right thing for me to do. That there is no better choice for me in life right now. But at the same time, I am terrified. I am 26 years old and I am willing leaving a stable, secure job with benefits to pursue my dream job at the same rate of pay (as long as I get work every day). But I am also quitting something for the very first time in my entire life. I can think of times when things ended naturally, like Girl Scouts or soccer or my first school counseling job. But to be quit honest, I have never really quit. This was my first resignation letter. My first conversation with a supervisor that I was leaving. I'm freaking out, but I am elated. I am a crazy mess of emotions.
Everyone says this is the right move (except my current boss who has asked me twice if I am really leaving), and I know that it is. But it is scary. It is scary to think that I, Miss Type A, planner, always-has-it-all-figured-out, that I only have it planned through Valentine's Day. Yup, my last day at the middle school I am starting Wednesday at will be Valentine's Day...note to any potential future significant other I have by February: it's 4 day weekend in the school districts and I'm going to be a mess, so you should plan something spectacular. Or just plan something. :)
Anyway, that's the big work update in my life. The personal life to be updated soon enough. One big thing at a time please. :)