(no subject)
Dating. That's what I'm doing. My friends say I date more than anyone they know. I say I put myself out there a lot and I'm not afraid of it. I rock a first date. I've been on many of them in past two years. Okay, many is like eleven (I think, but I'm sure there is someone I'm forgetting...) Anyway, it's eleven from July 2009 until April 2011...so, 22 months. I average a new first date every two or so months? Wow, so that is a lot. I think that seven of them have led to second dates so far (one new first date happened yesterday, and I do believe there will be a second date). One lasted a few months, but he was never a boyfriend. In fact, none of them have been relationships. But I date. I'm not sure many other people actually date in this world these days, but I do and I'm not afraid of it.
I'm a product of online dating and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I've done Match and OkCupid. Match was a great start for me. Prior to that, I don't think that I had ever been on a real date. I'd gone out to dinner or movies or something that would resemble a date, but wasn't sure of the context. Going out with a guy you have a crush on but he still sees you as a friend?? And he picked you up, and he paid? But it's still not a date...so confusing. I think this is what kept from relationships in the past. I like things to be defined. If I'm a friend, I'm a great friend. But if we are dating, let's date. Show me that I am important, that I am different from the other girls. Is that too much to ask?
Let me tell you about last night with S. It came about quickly, I admit that fully. On Saturday we started emailing. It continued to Sunday. On Sunday evening, his last email of the night had his phone number and told me to text him. I replied with my number, but told him I would text him. On Monday, we texted all day long. It was delightful. On Monday night, we talked about meeting in person for a date and I let him know my schedule for the week. He said he'd get back to me on Tuesday with his. On Tuesday, we made plans to get dinner on Wednesday night...and we texted all day while I was at the Giants-Padres game (Giants were losing so I didn't feel bad about texting S). S picked the place and I'd only been there once, so I was happy to go again. Plus, HE chose the spot. Good first move.
So, last night was Wednesday. I met S at the restaurant at 7:30pm. When I got there, he already had a table, already got us waters, and ordered himself a beer. Since this was a pizza and beer spot, the beer was appropriate. Even more appropriate because we had talked about what beers we like in one of our emails. He had ordered himself a Hefe and admitted immediately that he was going to order me a beer, but then he wasn't sure exactly what I'd want. He remembered what I said I liked, but was that going to be what I would want? I told him that I really appreciated the thought, but it was best to let me choose. He agreed. When I was ready, he got the waitress' attention and gestured to me so I could order. Well played, S. Then I just started talking. At first I felt like I was talking too much, saying too much, but then I realized he was listening, askng questions, referencing things from texts, emails, and my profile. He was paying attention. Then he talked. And I did the same. It was easy, for the most part. There were a few lulls, but we just met, so that's normal. :)
When it came time to finally read the menu, I asked him what he recommended. Pizza, obviously, and that's exactly the page I was on. S asked if I wanted to order my own or share. Share, of course! That's a cute first date move in my opinion. He suggested a pizza and I had no objections, so we ordered it and got back to talking. We talked and talked, and it was great. Our food came and I realized that it's hard to eat delicious pizza gracefully. I commented on this and said "Well, at least I'm not one of those girls who orders salads on a first date!" He laughed and said he liked that I shared the pizza. (Gosh, I'm hungry right now and wondering why I let him take the leftovers when he offered them to me first!!) Anyway, the waitress came to ask us if we wanted dessert and he deflected to me. I told her we needed some to think about it. When she walked away, I told S that I wasn't hungry for dessert, but I also didn't want to stop talking. :) So we kept talking. Eventually she brought the bill. He paid for it, in cash. I had my wallet out but he wouldn't let me pay. We let the bill sit there for a while and then it was evenutally an appropriate time to leave. \
S walked me to my car and we stood there talking for a minute or two. I could just tell he wanted to kiss me but I wasn't sure about it. Yes, we had a great date, but to stand there and kiss him in the middle of the parking lot?? Hmm. I wanted to kiss him, but then was suddenly truly nervous for the first time all evening. But isn't that how you should feel right before a first kiss on a first date? That nervous, excited, butterflies-in-your-stomach, anxious feeling? Anyway, I had my keys in my left hand and he had the pizza box in his right. I decided to go for a hug goodbye because it felt safe. As I tried to pull away from the hug, his left hand was still on the small of my back and my right was still on his back. He pulled me in for a kiss and I had no choice. :) Now, call me crazy, but that's exactly what I wanted!! I didn't want to make the first move. No, no, no. I wanted him to tell me what was going to happen. Better yet, he just did it. I wasn't able to think about it, I just went with it. I mean, really, let me order my own drink since I'm the one to drink it. You can choose the food when we are sharing it (but thanks for asking me about sharing in the first place). And thank you, thank you, thank you for not letting me overthink the kiss at the end of the night. Well done, S. Well done. Without words, I knew that he wanted to kiss me and he did. I like the take-control sort of attitude. It's chivalry at it's best. I just had to show up and be myself, he took care of everything else. That's what I like, that's what I need.
It was a great date because everything happened as it needed to and I wasn't overthinking everything. I was so relaxed. Maybe it's because I'm on Spring Break and I have that vacation mindset. Maybe it's because I'm really good on a first date. Whatever it was, I liked it and I can't wait for our second date. :) :) :)
I'm a product of online dating and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I've done Match and OkCupid. Match was a great start for me. Prior to that, I don't think that I had ever been on a real date. I'd gone out to dinner or movies or something that would resemble a date, but wasn't sure of the context. Going out with a guy you have a crush on but he still sees you as a friend?? And he picked you up, and he paid? But it's still not a date...so confusing. I think this is what kept from relationships in the past. I like things to be defined. If I'm a friend, I'm a great friend. But if we are dating, let's date. Show me that I am important, that I am different from the other girls. Is that too much to ask?
Let me tell you about last night with S. It came about quickly, I admit that fully. On Saturday we started emailing. It continued to Sunday. On Sunday evening, his last email of the night had his phone number and told me to text him. I replied with my number, but told him I would text him. On Monday, we texted all day long. It was delightful. On Monday night, we talked about meeting in person for a date and I let him know my schedule for the week. He said he'd get back to me on Tuesday with his. On Tuesday, we made plans to get dinner on Wednesday night...and we texted all day while I was at the Giants-Padres game (Giants were losing so I didn't feel bad about texting S). S picked the place and I'd only been there once, so I was happy to go again. Plus, HE chose the spot. Good first move.
So, last night was Wednesday. I met S at the restaurant at 7:30pm. When I got there, he already had a table, already got us waters, and ordered himself a beer. Since this was a pizza and beer spot, the beer was appropriate. Even more appropriate because we had talked about what beers we like in one of our emails. He had ordered himself a Hefe and admitted immediately that he was going to order me a beer, but then he wasn't sure exactly what I'd want. He remembered what I said I liked, but was that going to be what I would want? I told him that I really appreciated the thought, but it was best to let me choose. He agreed. When I was ready, he got the waitress' attention and gestured to me so I could order. Well played, S. Then I just started talking. At first I felt like I was talking too much, saying too much, but then I realized he was listening, askng questions, referencing things from texts, emails, and my profile. He was paying attention. Then he talked. And I did the same. It was easy, for the most part. There were a few lulls, but we just met, so that's normal. :)
When it came time to finally read the menu, I asked him what he recommended. Pizza, obviously, and that's exactly the page I was on. S asked if I wanted to order my own or share. Share, of course! That's a cute first date move in my opinion. He suggested a pizza and I had no objections, so we ordered it and got back to talking. We talked and talked, and it was great. Our food came and I realized that it's hard to eat delicious pizza gracefully. I commented on this and said "Well, at least I'm not one of those girls who orders salads on a first date!" He laughed and said he liked that I shared the pizza. (Gosh, I'm hungry right now and wondering why I let him take the leftovers when he offered them to me first!!) Anyway, the waitress came to ask us if we wanted dessert and he deflected to me. I told her we needed some to think about it. When she walked away, I told S that I wasn't hungry for dessert, but I also didn't want to stop talking. :) So we kept talking. Eventually she brought the bill. He paid for it, in cash. I had my wallet out but he wouldn't let me pay. We let the bill sit there for a while and then it was evenutally an appropriate time to leave. \
S walked me to my car and we stood there talking for a minute or two. I could just tell he wanted to kiss me but I wasn't sure about it. Yes, we had a great date, but to stand there and kiss him in the middle of the parking lot?? Hmm. I wanted to kiss him, but then was suddenly truly nervous for the first time all evening. But isn't that how you should feel right before a first kiss on a first date? That nervous, excited, butterflies-in-your-stomach, anxious feeling? Anyway, I had my keys in my left hand and he had the pizza box in his right. I decided to go for a hug goodbye because it felt safe. As I tried to pull away from the hug, his left hand was still on the small of my back and my right was still on his back. He pulled me in for a kiss and I had no choice. :) Now, call me crazy, but that's exactly what I wanted!! I didn't want to make the first move. No, no, no. I wanted him to tell me what was going to happen. Better yet, he just did it. I wasn't able to think about it, I just went with it. I mean, really, let me order my own drink since I'm the one to drink it. You can choose the food when we are sharing it (but thanks for asking me about sharing in the first place). And thank you, thank you, thank you for not letting me overthink the kiss at the end of the night. Well done, S. Well done. Without words, I knew that he wanted to kiss me and he did. I like the take-control sort of attitude. It's chivalry at it's best. I just had to show up and be myself, he took care of everything else. That's what I like, that's what I need.
It was a great date because everything happened as it needed to and I wasn't overthinking everything. I was so relaxed. Maybe it's because I'm on Spring Break and I have that vacation mindset. Maybe it's because I'm really good on a first date. Whatever it was, I liked it and I can't wait for our second date. :) :) :)