goodness my
today has been great. a barrage of small findings that make me think that i'm the king of the fucking world.
i have great friends. i just want to let the whole internet world of crazy people know that i have great friends, i have even greater best friends. they've always been amazing, even the friends i don't necessarily keep close are amazing. i thought while riding down the road with one of my best friends and only love muffin, "damn man, my friends are amazing." i'd just like to say thanks to my friends, you know who you are.
so my grandfather died. i'm dealing with it well, i think. i was so focused on the funeral(s) before hand that i didn't get to really process anything about the situation. i drove back to hickory and sat through the little memorial service, which was after the big time funeral in texas. the service was small, quaint and proper. i guess the best thing about it was spending time with BOTH my godparents at once. i never get to spend time with them both because they're both such damn travelers, so now that they were forced to travel to the same destination, i had to see them. i was glad, my godparents are so classy, it was refreshing, knowing that wonderful people had a part in raising me. they have style, grace, wisdom and CLASS. can i stress the importance of class here?? in anycase, the memorial service was...well, it was. i cried and my godfather comforted me, it was unusual but lovely. a tough guy taking his godson into arms. it was cinematic at least.
as for most undergraduate people at the moment: i can't wait for school to start. working is fun, but i worked for three years before i came to school, so i'm really not all about working. money is good, i like money but i'd like to hurry up and get my bachelors degree as well. so c'mon fall semester, then i get to go to France and then junior year. i won't wish the year away but i'd really like to wish it here.
the more i get deeper into that chapter. the more i dislike it. people are such hypocritical and hypercritical assholes. they go about trying to solve other peoples problems when they have the exact same problems. or my favorite is when somebody vehemently rides my ass for doing something and then turns around and does the exact same thing to someone else, but that makes it ok for them. flawed logic? i think so. for the millionth time today, i thought about leaving it all behind. in the end, is it all about the bond? are we really all bonded like we say? i'm sure that we all have our bonds with specific people, as is certainly the case with me. but i'm going to be honest, that bond is so conditional and i'm not afraid to put that out there. that bond also tends to change depending on who has power. chile please: i have bigger, better, things to do than worry about that mess. i will say that i myself literally can't stand to be in the same room with at least one person and dislike many people. however, none of this is because of anything that someone's said to me. i could sincerely care two cow shits about what some people say, but what they do; that's a different story all together. certain actions inspire discord. i'll never hold what somebody says against them, unless they contradict themselves because god only knows that i'm the king of saying horrid things to people, and shall continue to do so because that's just who i am. i can say though that i've never purposefully been a bastard to most of those people. i'll admit that two people have driven me to the point of nonacknowledgement. i really don't like being there, but sometimes it becomes so much for me to say something HORRID and mean it about you, that it's easier for me to pretend that you're not there. i feel like i wasted a whole semester, a whole $400, and a whole shit ton of energy for nothing. well not nothing, just nothing i want now. i hate feeling like this, but it has to get better. it must get better, or i'm removing myself. that's simply that, this has become poisonous to my person and i'd be a fool not to leave it behind after trying to make it better. we'll see what becomes of it.
i'm pretty damn cool. the end. i'm not gonna say that i'm not because i think i am. if you don't think so, just don't talk to me. a quirk of mine presented itself again today, and it's such a cool quirk to have. i'm glad that i have it.
it's so funny how people perceive others. playing cops and robbers with your clothes off: texas is a wonderful state.children, it really is, and the things people do there and get caught doing, are simply hilarious.
i'm going to bed because i bought new pillows. they're extra firm. amazing!!!
i have great friends. i just want to let the whole internet world of crazy people know that i have great friends, i have even greater best friends. they've always been amazing, even the friends i don't necessarily keep close are amazing. i thought while riding down the road with one of my best friends and only love muffin, "damn man, my friends are amazing." i'd just like to say thanks to my friends, you know who you are.
so my grandfather died. i'm dealing with it well, i think. i was so focused on the funeral(s) before hand that i didn't get to really process anything about the situation. i drove back to hickory and sat through the little memorial service, which was after the big time funeral in texas. the service was small, quaint and proper. i guess the best thing about it was spending time with BOTH my godparents at once. i never get to spend time with them both because they're both such damn travelers, so now that they were forced to travel to the same destination, i had to see them. i was glad, my godparents are so classy, it was refreshing, knowing that wonderful people had a part in raising me. they have style, grace, wisdom and CLASS. can i stress the importance of class here?? in anycase, the memorial service was...well, it was. i cried and my godfather comforted me, it was unusual but lovely. a tough guy taking his godson into arms. it was cinematic at least.
as for most undergraduate people at the moment: i can't wait for school to start. working is fun, but i worked for three years before i came to school, so i'm really not all about working. money is good, i like money but i'd like to hurry up and get my bachelors degree as well. so c'mon fall semester, then i get to go to France and then junior year. i won't wish the year away but i'd really like to wish it here.
the more i get deeper into that chapter. the more i dislike it. people are such hypocritical and hypercritical assholes. they go about trying to solve other peoples problems when they have the exact same problems. or my favorite is when somebody vehemently rides my ass for doing something and then turns around and does the exact same thing to someone else, but that makes it ok for them. flawed logic? i think so. for the millionth time today, i thought about leaving it all behind. in the end, is it all about the bond? are we really all bonded like we say? i'm sure that we all have our bonds with specific people, as is certainly the case with me. but i'm going to be honest, that bond is so conditional and i'm not afraid to put that out there. that bond also tends to change depending on who has power. chile please: i have bigger, better, things to do than worry about that mess. i will say that i myself literally can't stand to be in the same room with at least one person and dislike many people. however, none of this is because of anything that someone's said to me. i could sincerely care two cow shits about what some people say, but what they do; that's a different story all together. certain actions inspire discord. i'll never hold what somebody says against them, unless they contradict themselves because god only knows that i'm the king of saying horrid things to people, and shall continue to do so because that's just who i am. i can say though that i've never purposefully been a bastard to most of those people. i'll admit that two people have driven me to the point of nonacknowledgement. i really don't like being there, but sometimes it becomes so much for me to say something HORRID and mean it about you, that it's easier for me to pretend that you're not there. i feel like i wasted a whole semester, a whole $400, and a whole shit ton of energy for nothing. well not nothing, just nothing i want now. i hate feeling like this, but it has to get better. it must get better, or i'm removing myself. that's simply that, this has become poisonous to my person and i'd be a fool not to leave it behind after trying to make it better. we'll see what becomes of it.
i'm pretty damn cool. the end. i'm not gonna say that i'm not because i think i am. if you don't think so, just don't talk to me. a quirk of mine presented itself again today, and it's such a cool quirk to have. i'm glad that i have it.
it's so funny how people perceive others. playing cops and robbers with your clothes off: texas is a wonderful state.children, it really is, and the things people do there and get caught doing, are simply hilarious.
i'm going to bed because i bought new pillows. they're extra firm. amazing!!!