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I've been depressed for a while now. It's exhausting. It's the kind of depression that brings physical pain along with it. I'm tired all the time. I need to get out of the house, yet have zero desire to do so. I'm supposed to go up to Denton on Sunday and I don't physically feel up to it. Everything hurts too much
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What I was kinda hoping, with getting you on Second Life, was a chance to socialize and get "out", so an extent. I know that's like some kind of life methadone, though, and I don't want to try to say, oh, the only way you can be social is through a keyboard. I would like to hang out with you more, though, and that's the cheapest way I can think of doing it. There's also folks on there at all hours, so it's hard to be really lonely. You just start throwing extra Us at words* after a certain hour.
I can appreciate the body image issues. Today, on my way to get a monitor from a co-worker in Plano, I said out loud, "I wish Dave was thin more than I wish I was thin." I figure I can do it if I get off my ass and really decide to do something about it. I don't see you as a failure or lack or willpower or any of that shaming shit. That would be up there with yelling at a cripple for taking so long on the stairs or someone on the spectrum for not understanding the weird socio-sexual political games some folks play.
What I know is: you're a cool guy with a keen mind. I'm also stupid hopeful, so I'll say it will get better, one way or the other. Heck, you got the petal machine? That's for watching TV! Just a thing to do instead of being hungry. I'll just send you a bunch of music files and you dance 30 minutes a day. I don't know. My knees hurt, so I'm not as active as I should be. We'll see.
Stupid future. It was supposed to be better than this.
*We Americans are saving up those Us for when we start chanting. USA! USA!
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