As Within, So Without.
Currently Reading: "Boundaries in Dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Ever think of why we're called human beings, and not human doings? It's because we're not here to do things, it's because we're here to be.
I've been doing so much reading lately...devouring book after book. Can't get enough. philosophy, perceptions, psychology, spirituality, taoism, concepts, principles, ideas. I can talk all day about it. (Note: I tried taking a philosophy class once--Phil120--and dropped out of it after 2 weeks. Go figure.) Some things are becoming so clear to me, some are posing questions for me that I still need to figure out/find the answers to. So comfortable and confident with myself (confidence is different from egotism, mind you. its the opposite, actually) it's a new level. One that I don't think a lot of people are at (I still at some times waver & have trouble myself). With this, I've become really honest about things. Things I used to hide to try to put up some facade to preserve people's opinions of me, or try to shape them, or be a certain way. lames. I don't anymore. The people who stay with me are the best people. It's what I attract, and if they aren't, they fall away. That's proven, time withstanding.
These ideas, these concepts, these principles I know/am learning...I want to teach other people, but at this point I'm still a student, and learning with other people at best. Even the teacher's a student at some point.
I want to be a writer. Not a screenwriter, an author. It's in my blood (little known fact about me: 2 of my Uncle's are authors). But I question my ability to communicate these things accurately or with the fluency I'm retaining them at. Still working on it. Confidence/self-assurance is a big step, because not all want to listen to what I have to say, even fewer will understand, and some aren't ready to hear it.
No matter what, I want people to feel like they can come to me whenever (and want to). Whether it's because they're having problems, or just need another person to hang out with. Even if I don't know them that well, I hope I'm someone that they feel they can call up on a whim. They want to be around. Someone who is approachable enough to want to approach.
Anyways.
One of the books I started reading today is the one above. Relationships intrigue me. Even though I've only been in a few "official" relationships, I'm really good at them, because I'm good at dealing with people & don't upset easy. I feel like I've been in a relationship with all the boys I've liked in college, though. I've learned and grown from each of them. When I went to lunch with my co-workers the other day they asked me if I had a boyfriend, and acted like they didn't believe me when I said no. So I told them about Bryan...that whole situation...and why it didn't/isn't working out. Some people are meant to come into your life just at the right time to give you confidence & make you not fearful anymore, but on such a different life path (we're on so different paths I dont even see them intersecting anywhere). He was so random and so...close to being perfect for me. By far the best relationship I've ever had, so I think maybe that's what he was supposed to be for me. To see I can have something like that someday, with someone (a lot like him haha). And I'm glad I was able to be a good girl for him, and prove we're not all like that psycho chic he had just broken up with ha.
Then Charlie...It says in the book this one woman was so afraid of giving a man power over her, she chose for herself a completely passive and complying man; then, years later, got lamed out because he was passive & complying. Not saying Charlie's completely passive, but I can def. see that happening with myself, especially in light of recent events. Charlie's amazing & his creativity is genius & higher than anyone else I know. I love Charlie & am so glad we're such good friends...I couldn't think of a more worthy person to have spent so much time with every day & wouldn't change that...but us together? Eh. Probably best it didn't go any further.
Zane...lets not even get started hahaha.
Enough of this; you get the picture. These are only some of my personal analyzations/insights with some of my more recent relationships, but I gaurentee if you pick up the book (I'm only halfway into it) you'll see yourself somewhere in it, plus pick up a few extra useful tidbits.
Ever think of why we're called human beings, and not human doings? It's because we're not here to do things, it's because we're here to be.
I've been doing so much reading lately...devouring book after book. Can't get enough. philosophy, perceptions, psychology, spirituality, taoism, concepts, principles, ideas. I can talk all day about it. (Note: I tried taking a philosophy class once--Phil120--and dropped out of it after 2 weeks. Go figure.) Some things are becoming so clear to me, some are posing questions for me that I still need to figure out/find the answers to. So comfortable and confident with myself (confidence is different from egotism, mind you. its the opposite, actually) it's a new level. One that I don't think a lot of people are at (I still at some times waver & have trouble myself). With this, I've become really honest about things. Things I used to hide to try to put up some facade to preserve people's opinions of me, or try to shape them, or be a certain way. lames. I don't anymore. The people who stay with me are the best people. It's what I attract, and if they aren't, they fall away. That's proven, time withstanding.
These ideas, these concepts, these principles I know/am learning...I want to teach other people, but at this point I'm still a student, and learning with other people at best. Even the teacher's a student at some point.
I want to be a writer. Not a screenwriter, an author. It's in my blood (little known fact about me: 2 of my Uncle's are authors). But I question my ability to communicate these things accurately or with the fluency I'm retaining them at. Still working on it. Confidence/self-assurance is a big step, because not all want to listen to what I have to say, even fewer will understand, and some aren't ready to hear it.
No matter what, I want people to feel like they can come to me whenever (and want to). Whether it's because they're having problems, or just need another person to hang out with. Even if I don't know them that well, I hope I'm someone that they feel they can call up on a whim. They want to be around. Someone who is approachable enough to want to approach.
Anyways.
One of the books I started reading today is the one above. Relationships intrigue me. Even though I've only been in a few "official" relationships, I'm really good at them, because I'm good at dealing with people & don't upset easy. I feel like I've been in a relationship with all the boys I've liked in college, though. I've learned and grown from each of them. When I went to lunch with my co-workers the other day they asked me if I had a boyfriend, and acted like they didn't believe me when I said no. So I told them about Bryan...that whole situation...and why it didn't/isn't working out. Some people are meant to come into your life just at the right time to give you confidence & make you not fearful anymore, but on such a different life path (we're on so different paths I dont even see them intersecting anywhere). He was so random and so...close to being perfect for me. By far the best relationship I've ever had, so I think maybe that's what he was supposed to be for me. To see I can have something like that someday, with someone (a lot like him haha). And I'm glad I was able to be a good girl for him, and prove we're not all like that psycho chic he had just broken up with ha.
Then Charlie...It says in the book this one woman was so afraid of giving a man power over her, she chose for herself a completely passive and complying man; then, years later, got lamed out because he was passive & complying. Not saying Charlie's completely passive, but I can def. see that happening with myself, especially in light of recent events. Charlie's amazing & his creativity is genius & higher than anyone else I know. I love Charlie & am so glad we're such good friends...I couldn't think of a more worthy person to have spent so much time with every day & wouldn't change that...but us together? Eh. Probably best it didn't go any further.
Zane...lets not even get started hahaha.
Enough of this; you get the picture. These are only some of my personal analyzations/insights with some of my more recent relationships, but I gaurentee if you pick up the book (I'm only halfway into it) you'll see yourself somewhere in it, plus pick up a few extra useful tidbits.