Thanks for this. I did find it all a bit unfair, as you know, but mostly there isn't any point in belonging to a community where the only post I ever made is deleted and the three comments I've made (one an intro, and only the last one even marginally negative) were deleted - with only my last question a few months ago kept up and responded to privately by them telling me that I must have just gotten it wrong.
I mean I can't comment or get the info out there ANY other way than on my own journal, cos otherwise my entries are deleted and it's like they never happened and the discussion is all happiness and control. So 'healing' is just shutting up and letting them delete my entries, and agreeing that not having BMG recognised for the work she does is cool. Again, it hardly matters, the support was never in the community for me (obviously, see above), it was with the people who aren't the mods, like BMG and Sykira and all of the others who did let me comment and contribute and weren't frightened and because it was never allowed ON the community, it was always in their livejournals, so I guess that just continues on beautifully!
I never understand a fear of discussion, it makes things much easier, people can say what they are thinking, hash it out and it's roses and fun! Oh, did I say the R word?
Yeah I dunno what to say to this... I guess my concerns were about not being able to express them, cos I wasn't allowed to on the community and they wouldn't respond to me, so the question of people being friends. I guess 'friends' in my book means that you open the discussion open and you respond to people and you don't delete comments and I thought that's what you were saying here too. My experience is that if you never stand up for being able to say stuff and you do just want to gloss it over, you end up very unhappy and unappreciated... just one of the reasons I'm so glad BMG posted her own dismay at the situation. Mind you, it's amazing to me how many people thought we should just let everyone walk all over her. But there ya go, turns out you really DO find out who is willing to stick up for people and who is just interested in not addressing it and smoothing it over. It was great to read your comments on this, mate!
I wasn't saying that everyone should just forget and dismiss everything and be happy dappy go lucky or anything - more why can't we be friends and sort it out like friends should and ah, maybe I am just demanding a utopia. I need a break from this. :(
No, not at all, I agree completely. I think I was just trying to say that I guess to use the real-space analogy, it's hard to have a conversation with someone who keeps slamming the door in your face (or in the online direct process) deletes every comment you make. I agree it would be great to have the conversation. Yeah, I think how friends work stuff out is by talking it through and remembering what it is that they both like and that respect is just easy as anything, and that when you don't show respect, you end up with people feeling disenfranchised. The horrible thing about any of this is that we had to take it to our own LJs to complain about it. Who wants to whinge about mates?
Yeah. And it's created a very sullen atmosphere, too. On my small flist, at least. It's heartbreaking, really, to see that my sweet escape isn't very sweet and needs escaping from.
I mean I can't comment or get the info out there ANY other way than on my own journal, cos otherwise my entries are deleted and it's like they never happened and the discussion is all happiness and control. So 'healing' is just shutting up and letting them delete my entries, and agreeing that not having BMG recognised for the work she does is cool. Again, it hardly matters, the support was never in the community for me (obviously, see above), it was with the people who aren't the mods, like BMG and Sykira and all of the others who did let me comment and contribute and weren't frightened and because it was never allowed ON the community, it was always in their livejournals, so I guess that just continues on beautifully!
I never understand a fear of discussion, it makes things much easier, people can say what they are thinking, hash it out and it's roses and fun! Oh, did I say the R word?
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Really, if you really dumb me down, all I'm saying is
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