scary night
I've really not had the best three hours. I was fine when I got home after work. It was a busy and frustrating day at work and I was feeling a little anxiety about the hair thing since Dare brought up the fact that she'd found a wig for me. I thought I was fine. I got home and took my blood pressure (I have to routinely) and it was 140/80. A little high but I didn't think anything of it. I started watching a movie and told myself I'd check it later. At 1am I ate a tuna sandwich and at 1:15 I took my meds and about 20 minutes after that I checked it and it was at 160/100. And I started to freak, because it hasn't been that high since my last severe anxiety attack in August and with the blood pressure meds I take it's always normal. So I take a blood pressure pill and a baby aspirin and then I just try to relax. My pulse is crazy high and I'm trying to do the slow cleansing breaths thing and I think it's working but the blood pressure is still high 160/90. I'm not at full panic yet, but I'm getting there. At this point I'm more annoyed and sleepy than anything else. So I take my blood pressure again and it's up to 160/98. I wait, deep breaths...20 minutes 170/100! NOW, I'm panicked. I take my anti-anxiety meds and call my brother. It's a little after 2:30am at this point. I'm at the "calm" phase of my panic, where I'm still coherent. So I tell him that my blood pressure is high and I'm freaking out and if he could please come and get me and take me to South Miami Hospital. And I hate calling him with this because I know that he's thinking the same thing that I am, that Mom had a heart attack and died and it all started with a phone call. So he just says he's on his way and I start getting dressed and writing a note to my friend Dee asking her to help my brother out with all the paperwork and insurance stuff from work in case I die AND I wrote down my signon and password for LJ asking her to post something to notify you guys, just in case. So, I'm sure that added to my panic, the whole thinking about that.
By the time he got here, I was a wreak. He was trying to be calm, God help him, and he takes my blood pressure and he's not saying anything and I'm like "What does it say!?" and he's like 140/80. And I start crying. And all I can get out is "are you sure?" and he says yes, but I'm almost afraid to think that it's gone down so much so I check it myself and I'm like "It's still 160/80!" So he drives me to a CVS near my house for the blood pressure machine thingy and it takes 3 readings with three different results. But I feel better. I'm more in control, less panicky and crazed. So I buy a digital blood pressure thingy that sets me back almost $60 (so no groceries this week) and I get home and it's normal. My pulse is still a little high, but it's normal and I feel normal and I DON'T have to make a fucking trip to the hospital (which I HATE!).
Now, I'm just soo tired and grateful for another day.
By the time he got here, I was a wreak. He was trying to be calm, God help him, and he takes my blood pressure and he's not saying anything and I'm like "What does it say!?" and he's like 140/80. And I start crying. And all I can get out is "are you sure?" and he says yes, but I'm almost afraid to think that it's gone down so much so I check it myself and I'm like "It's still 160/80!" So he drives me to a CVS near my house for the blood pressure machine thingy and it takes 3 readings with three different results. But I feel better. I'm more in control, less panicky and crazed. So I buy a digital blood pressure thingy that sets me back almost $60 (so no groceries this week) and I get home and it's normal. My pulse is still a little high, but it's normal and I feel normal and I DON'T have to make a fucking trip to the hospital (which I HATE!).
Now, I'm just soo tired and grateful for another day.