crazy The Office days...
Sometimes I do this thing at work, where I'll trace a conversation. It's a little game I play and a great activity if you're an observer (which I am). Sometimes I can get away with just sitting back and letting things play out without anyone missing that I'm not in the conversation, but usually that's not the case. On my quiet days, I've got most people coming up to me and asking me what's wrong. :) It's equal parts sweet and annoying, to be frank.
I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm outgoing and gregarious in any way, FAR from it. I'm usually painfully shy (especially with new people or in new social settings) and am very quiet, usually just studying people, but with my friends and in a familiar environment, I get comfortable enough to let my guard down.
Today I was hoping to have a quiet day, as I was struggling with a couple of sections of something I'm writing, but it was not to be.
I came in to work and we were super-busy. The conversation started with "Neis! How were your days off?" and about 25 minutes later when I had FINALLY caught up with everything and could turn around to see what was going on, the conversation had gotten to "Oh, I definitely remember the first time I had anal sex." You know, there're just some things I don't need to know about you, fellow coworker, and that tops the list. I wish I could have traced THAT conversation and see how it got from her greeting me to her disturbing disclaimer, but I was too busy. Conversations tend to escalate fairly quickly there.
But escalation is the name of the game in a room full of 90% women of various cultural, ethnic and racial backgrounds. It's fascinating and there's never a day where I don't learn something new. I probably could have gone my entire life without knowing that aspect of her personal sex life, but, hey, what're ya gonna do? At least I wasn't the only one that knows that now and I can take solace and comfort from that. (FYI: She's a lady in her 60s. All kinds of ewww)
Sometimes I feel like River, with my head full of other people's secrets. I'm someone people have an easy time confiding in, because they know they can trust me. Usually I don't mind, at all. It's a little flattering, truth be told. And I know that not everyone HAS someone to confide in. If it makes them feel better to tell me something, then I just let it be. But really, somethings I don't NEED to know. She's a grandmother, for God's sake! And the way she was talking it seemed fairly recent! And this horrible, AWFUL knowledge is never going to leave my head!
*shaking it off*
Let's go on to the funny part of my day. Really, one of the funnier moments I've had in our building.
It's lunch time and Dare wants to get some food. I usually cook for both of us, but I got lazy today and threw spinach leaves in a bowl with slivered almonds and low-fat Feta cheese and that was going to be my lunch. But she gave me the puppy-dog look (perfectly by my brother when we were growing up and which could ALWAYS get me to do anything) and I folded. So I went with her and we ended up at the drive-thru at McDonald's and then we went back to work and ate in the break room. So we eat and she goes off to go look something up in the computer and I go into the little kitchen to wash my bowl and fork. There are already two people in there. One if heating up cottage fries on some tin foil in the toaster oven and the other is heating something up in the microwave. So the toaster oven dings and she pulls out her tinfoil fries and starts putting something on them and I'm just washing my dish, but then out of the corner of my eye, I spot flames. And I turn and the toaster oven is on fire. "Hey, watch out, that's on fire," I say. She jumps back a little but then opens the little door and it's a TINY fire. Then she starts blowing on it and it gets bigger. So the other lady's like "NO! Don't do that, we need salt." But the only thing in front of me is a big old tupperware of sugar. So I give that to her. "That's sugar. See if it'll work and let me get into the cabinet and see if I can find some salt!" So she throws a bunch of sugar on that and it doesn't do a thing and I'm in the cabinet looking for salt and nothing. Then I notice that cottage fries lady has half-filled a glass of water and is walking purposefully towards the flames. And all I can think is "Oh, this is SOO not gonna end well". So I say, "No, not water. There's probably grease on the bottom of that that caught fire!" But it's too late and she throws it in there. Mind you, during ALL of this, I can't stop laughing, because it's just the damn funniest mess I've been in for a LONG time AND the toaster oven is till plugged into the wall. So she throws the water and there is a huge WHOOSH and a little fire-ball, but the fire goes out! But now the place is full of smoke and I am HYSTERICAL I am laughing so much. I can't even talk I'm laughing so much, all I can do is look at cottage fries lady and clap and cheer for her bravery and courage.
And you know what? There was no smoke detector or fire alarm in that small kitchen OR a fire extinguisher. No one ever noticed. I'd hate to think what would have happened it it had been a BIG fire. Great job Dade county! Now we have to start and sign a petition for the smoke detector and a fire extinguisher. Jeez!
Reasons I was laughing:
Well, truly because it WAS funny, but also I kept thinking about The Office and how Ryan had set fire to the kitchen with his cheesy pita. Life imitates art.
I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm outgoing and gregarious in any way, FAR from it. I'm usually painfully shy (especially with new people or in new social settings) and am very quiet, usually just studying people, but with my friends and in a familiar environment, I get comfortable enough to let my guard down.
Today I was hoping to have a quiet day, as I was struggling with a couple of sections of something I'm writing, but it was not to be.
I came in to work and we were super-busy. The conversation started with "Neis! How were your days off?" and about 25 minutes later when I had FINALLY caught up with everything and could turn around to see what was going on, the conversation had gotten to "Oh, I definitely remember the first time I had anal sex." You know, there're just some things I don't need to know about you, fellow coworker, and that tops the list. I wish I could have traced THAT conversation and see how it got from her greeting me to her disturbing disclaimer, but I was too busy. Conversations tend to escalate fairly quickly there.
But escalation is the name of the game in a room full of 90% women of various cultural, ethnic and racial backgrounds. It's fascinating and there's never a day where I don't learn something new. I probably could have gone my entire life without knowing that aspect of her personal sex life, but, hey, what're ya gonna do? At least I wasn't the only one that knows that now and I can take solace and comfort from that. (FYI: She's a lady in her 60s. All kinds of ewww)
Sometimes I feel like River, with my head full of other people's secrets. I'm someone people have an easy time confiding in, because they know they can trust me. Usually I don't mind, at all. It's a little flattering, truth be told. And I know that not everyone HAS someone to confide in. If it makes them feel better to tell me something, then I just let it be. But really, somethings I don't NEED to know. She's a grandmother, for God's sake! And the way she was talking it seemed fairly recent! And this horrible, AWFUL knowledge is never going to leave my head!
*shaking it off*
Let's go on to the funny part of my day. Really, one of the funnier moments I've had in our building.
It's lunch time and Dare wants to get some food. I usually cook for both of us, but I got lazy today and threw spinach leaves in a bowl with slivered almonds and low-fat Feta cheese and that was going to be my lunch. But she gave me the puppy-dog look (perfectly by my brother when we were growing up and which could ALWAYS get me to do anything) and I folded. So I went with her and we ended up at the drive-thru at McDonald's and then we went back to work and ate in the break room. So we eat and she goes off to go look something up in the computer and I go into the little kitchen to wash my bowl and fork. There are already two people in there. One if heating up cottage fries on some tin foil in the toaster oven and the other is heating something up in the microwave. So the toaster oven dings and she pulls out her tinfoil fries and starts putting something on them and I'm just washing my dish, but then out of the corner of my eye, I spot flames. And I turn and the toaster oven is on fire. "Hey, watch out, that's on fire," I say. She jumps back a little but then opens the little door and it's a TINY fire. Then she starts blowing on it and it gets bigger. So the other lady's like "NO! Don't do that, we need salt." But the only thing in front of me is a big old tupperware of sugar. So I give that to her. "That's sugar. See if it'll work and let me get into the cabinet and see if I can find some salt!" So she throws a bunch of sugar on that and it doesn't do a thing and I'm in the cabinet looking for salt and nothing. Then I notice that cottage fries lady has half-filled a glass of water and is walking purposefully towards the flames. And all I can think is "Oh, this is SOO not gonna end well". So I say, "No, not water. There's probably grease on the bottom of that that caught fire!" But it's too late and she throws it in there. Mind you, during ALL of this, I can't stop laughing, because it's just the damn funniest mess I've been in for a LONG time AND the toaster oven is till plugged into the wall. So she throws the water and there is a huge WHOOSH and a little fire-ball, but the fire goes out! But now the place is full of smoke and I am HYSTERICAL I am laughing so much. I can't even talk I'm laughing so much, all I can do is look at cottage fries lady and clap and cheer for her bravery and courage.
And you know what? There was no smoke detector or fire alarm in that small kitchen OR a fire extinguisher. No one ever noticed. I'd hate to think what would have happened it it had been a BIG fire. Great job Dade county! Now we have to start and sign a petition for the smoke detector and a fire extinguisher. Jeez!
Reasons I was laughing:
Well, truly because it WAS funny, but also I kept thinking about The Office and how Ryan had set fire to the kitchen with his cheesy pita. Life imitates art.