dear chan and melissa
hey girls! oh my goodness, what is up with you guys? it's been so long. i have been so busy, and just getting everything figured out...the weeks have gone so fast. and to be honest, i've been really trying to stay busy too, so i haven't had a lot of free time to just sit down and catch either of you up. i'm not big on the mass email...never have been, but in this situation i thought it made sense. hope you ugys don't mind. :)
i'm living at mom's now, which is cool. i'm not home a LOT lot which i think bothers her...i think that she thinks i should be like sitting on my butt with a broken heart wallowing in my tears. which, YES i'm crazy sad about everything, but i just am not the type to sit around and feel sorry for myself. when i AM home, im starting some new projects, just for fun...i've gotten pretty good at knitting and i'm crocheting too, and i've been kinda trying my hand at free-style sewing projects. my first project was for halloween (you can see the pics at snapfish.com just log in as me) just altering a dress i bought at a thrift store. then i took a shirt that i really liked but was too big and sewed it cute to make it smaller, and it worked! so now i'm starting on a more difficult thing, but i think it could be cool...it's a sweatshirt that mom brought me from ny like 2 years ago that i've never worn cause it's just a big old dorky sweatshirt. but i cut apart and made it littler, and i think i'm going to give it a collar, some ruffles, and i'm making the cuffs all cute where you can stick your thumb through it, so i can wear it snowboarding. then i'mma make it a zip-up. should be interesting!
so i've been with friends a lot, working a lot, and generally just being in motion. i'm feeling well though, all things considered. i put some weight back on that i had lost over the month or so when things were really bad, but i'm still down more than a size from before. it's kinda sad cause my favorite corduroys (you know the ones with the cute cuffs from ae?) don't fit anymore :( but i'm not complaining i guess...getting thinner was like a random unexpected benefit. but i'm back to feeling healthy instead of kinda icky. i remember days where all i'd have was like 4 cheez-its and my stomach would be in knots. i don't miss that!
i got a snowboard and bindings reeeeeal cheap off craigslist.com (holy crap if you don't know it, GO there! such great deals!) it was a really cute christian couple that had bought a bunch of gear new last year on sale and then decided they'd rather have the cash. so the board (a limited 144) is brand new and so are the bindings. and they're soooo cute! my friends from work ALL snowboard, and so does like vince, brian and karina, and everybody! so i'm SOOOOO excited to get out. i KINDA kinda know how but i'm sure it will take me time. but it will be fun to have something to do on the weekends...i think i'm going to get a pass that gives me both winter park and copper, cause i can buy one/get one free as a student. ANYWAY...lots of random details!
school is going well too. i'm enjoying my math class, which is the opposite of everyone else in the class so i kinda feel weird. it's tedious work sometimes, but i think it's just that its fun for me to prove things...that class is all about like WHY does the area formula work? how do we know that whatever formula will give us accurate results, etc. it's fun cause you have to come up with a million different ways to exaplin the exact same thing, which in the first place you KNEW and are used to using. it sounds really stupid actually. but it isn't. it fits my personality or somethign to be like hereherehere lemme show you!!!! and my geology class- ugh! for some reason i look forward to it, i think cause the prof knows my name and that makes me feel like mart of the gang- but the content itself WOOF. boring. but i can handle it. i just prefer LIVING things. call me crazy :)
holy cow you guys: kaylie turns 1 this weekend! can you believe it? i'll post pics to that snapfish after the party. seriously- i'l just put everything on there and then you'll always know where to go. you guys should start doing the same. you can post to that account of you don't wanna create a new one. it's tied to my credit card, but i'm pretty sure neither ofyou is trying to steal my identity :) whatever...either way. but serioulsy i can't believe its been a year! woak.
uhg i guess we should cover the business side of things too. well i have't talked to aj since the day i mived out...which was what...like 6 weeks ago. he barely even returns my emails. and he is every time asking me where i want steve to put my stuff, or reminding me that he wants the house key or whatever. it's so weird. sometimes i really miss him. it's pretty sad actually. but i can't think about it too much, or dwell on it. i feel like i have made m decisions, and so has he, and it's too late to go back and try to talk to him or see him or spend any energy at all making the relationship better or smoother or easier. in my heart i just wish that i could know that i'm doing the right thing. but i do'n tthink that kind of assurance exists. all i know for SURE was that in the situation, staying was NOT the right thing. and i have to operate off that. but i miss him terribly sometimes, and not at all sometimes. sometimes i'm reminded of things that really bothered me, or things that always hurt my feelings (like him treating me like a little kid) and i relize what an impact it had on me and how much healthier i feel without it.
i'm living at mom's now, which is cool. i'm not home a LOT lot which i think bothers her...i think that she thinks i should be like sitting on my butt with a broken heart wallowing in my tears. which, YES i'm crazy sad about everything, but i just am not the type to sit around and feel sorry for myself. when i AM home, im starting some new projects, just for fun...i've gotten pretty good at knitting and i'm crocheting too, and i've been kinda trying my hand at free-style sewing projects. my first project was for halloween (you can see the pics at snapfish.com just log in as me) just altering a dress i bought at a thrift store. then i took a shirt that i really liked but was too big and sewed it cute to make it smaller, and it worked! so now i'm starting on a more difficult thing, but i think it could be cool...it's a sweatshirt that mom brought me from ny like 2 years ago that i've never worn cause it's just a big old dorky sweatshirt. but i cut apart and made it littler, and i think i'm going to give it a collar, some ruffles, and i'm making the cuffs all cute where you can stick your thumb through it, so i can wear it snowboarding. then i'mma make it a zip-up. should be interesting!
so i've been with friends a lot, working a lot, and generally just being in motion. i'm feeling well though, all things considered. i put some weight back on that i had lost over the month or so when things were really bad, but i'm still down more than a size from before. it's kinda sad cause my favorite corduroys (you know the ones with the cute cuffs from ae?) don't fit anymore :( but i'm not complaining i guess...getting thinner was like a random unexpected benefit. but i'm back to feeling healthy instead of kinda icky. i remember days where all i'd have was like 4 cheez-its and my stomach would be in knots. i don't miss that!
i got a snowboard and bindings reeeeeal cheap off craigslist.com (holy crap if you don't know it, GO there! such great deals!) it was a really cute christian couple that had bought a bunch of gear new last year on sale and then decided they'd rather have the cash. so the board (a limited 144) is brand new and so are the bindings. and they're soooo cute! my friends from work ALL snowboard, and so does like vince, brian and karina, and everybody! so i'm SOOOOO excited to get out. i KINDA kinda know how but i'm sure it will take me time. but it will be fun to have something to do on the weekends...i think i'm going to get a pass that gives me both winter park and copper, cause i can buy one/get one free as a student. ANYWAY...lots of random details!
school is going well too. i'm enjoying my math class, which is the opposite of everyone else in the class so i kinda feel weird. it's tedious work sometimes, but i think it's just that its fun for me to prove things...that class is all about like WHY does the area formula work? how do we know that whatever formula will give us accurate results, etc. it's fun cause you have to come up with a million different ways to exaplin the exact same thing, which in the first place you KNEW and are used to using. it sounds really stupid actually. but it isn't. it fits my personality or somethign to be like hereherehere lemme show you!!!! and my geology class- ugh! for some reason i look forward to it, i think cause the prof knows my name and that makes me feel like mart of the gang- but the content itself WOOF. boring. but i can handle it. i just prefer LIVING things. call me crazy :)
holy cow you guys: kaylie turns 1 this weekend! can you believe it? i'll post pics to that snapfish after the party. seriously- i'l just put everything on there and then you'll always know where to go. you guys should start doing the same. you can post to that account of you don't wanna create a new one. it's tied to my credit card, but i'm pretty sure neither ofyou is trying to steal my identity :) whatever...either way. but serioulsy i can't believe its been a year! woak.
uhg i guess we should cover the business side of things too. well i have't talked to aj since the day i mived out...which was what...like 6 weeks ago. he barely even returns my emails. and he is every time asking me where i want steve to put my stuff, or reminding me that he wants the house key or whatever. it's so weird. sometimes i really miss him. it's pretty sad actually. but i can't think about it too much, or dwell on it. i feel like i have made m decisions, and so has he, and it's too late to go back and try to talk to him or see him or spend any energy at all making the relationship better or smoother or easier. in my heart i just wish that i could know that i'm doing the right thing. but i do'n tthink that kind of assurance exists. all i know for SURE was that in the situation, staying was NOT the right thing. and i have to operate off that. but i miss him terribly sometimes, and not at all sometimes. sometimes i'm reminded of things that really bothered me, or things that always hurt my feelings (like him treating me like a little kid) and i relize what an impact it had on me and how much healthier i feel without it.