BELATED BLOG FOR CHOICE
Because I am absent-minded and made of fail, this is late. But still from the heart, and hopefully a reminder that we need to keep thinking about the politics of choice every day.
First, a story that is not, at first glance, about a woman's right to a safe, private abortion.
Not that many people realize these days that my mother, a pillar of her Presbyterian church, was a Catholic for the first 32 years of her life. Baptized, confirmed, taught catechism class until she happened to bring up the doctrine of reincarnation and was quietly removed by the priest. My father, however, was very much NOT Catholic, nor inclined to change his religious affiliation in the slightest (not after that weekend he spent as a Moonie).
The parish priests were NOT HAPPY about her getting married outside the church, but they seem to have bit their tongues enough that for the first seven years of their marriage my parents just went to separate churches on Sunday mornings, then met back up again for lunch. They STOPPED biting their tongues, however, when my mother became pregnant for the first time.
At age 32, seven years after she married my father.
Clearly, they had not been using the rhythm method.
So with me on the way (at the time I was known as "Spaulding" because I was the size of a tennis ball), the priest informed my mother that either she could stop being a "cafeteria Catholic" ("I want this doctrine, but not THAT one") or she could leave the Church.
My mother chose to leave, and never looked back. As far as she was concerned, it was the same God and the same Bible no matter where she worshipped.
In due course, she had me, and although there was a C-Section involved, there was much rejoicing of grandparents. Five years later (once again, NOT RHYTHM METHOD), at age 37, she had a Vaginal Birth After C-Section. This is a combination of risk factors that would make any HMO go ballistic, but she did it anyway. YES, MY MOTHER APPARENTLY KNOWS NO FEAR AND HAS NO PROBLEM TELLING BOTH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HER OB-GYN TO FUCK OFF AND LET HER BRING HER KIDS INTO THE WORLD THE WAY SHE SEES FIT.
So why do I recount this story when I'm blogging about the right to choose? Because in both her pregnancies, my mother was being told that she had made choices that the establishment felt were wrong, that her options were limited and that she shouldn't rock the boat by doing anything any MORE radical. In both cases, she said "Screw that!" and did it anyway.
In both cases, she wanted the pregnancy, she and Dad both wanted it and had planned the timing meticulously. Having grown up knowing how much they wanted and loved me, I know what a blessing that is for a child, a blessing that no child should ever, EVER be without. If Mom had been in a different set of circumstances either time, where she was being pressured to continue with a pregnancy that had come seven years earlier when they wouldn't be able to afford it, or where she was being pressured to continue with a pregnancy that a serious risk to her health, it could have spelled a very different future for me or for my younger brother.
No woman should have to carry a child she does not feel she can love or care for properly. No child should ever have to feel unwanted and unloved. That's why I believe in choice.
First, a story that is not, at first glance, about a woman's right to a safe, private abortion.
Not that many people realize these days that my mother, a pillar of her Presbyterian church, was a Catholic for the first 32 years of her life. Baptized, confirmed, taught catechism class until she happened to bring up the doctrine of reincarnation and was quietly removed by the priest. My father, however, was very much NOT Catholic, nor inclined to change his religious affiliation in the slightest (not after that weekend he spent as a Moonie).
The parish priests were NOT HAPPY about her getting married outside the church, but they seem to have bit their tongues enough that for the first seven years of their marriage my parents just went to separate churches on Sunday mornings, then met back up again for lunch. They STOPPED biting their tongues, however, when my mother became pregnant for the first time.
At age 32, seven years after she married my father.
Clearly, they had not been using the rhythm method.
So with me on the way (at the time I was known as "Spaulding" because I was the size of a tennis ball), the priest informed my mother that either she could stop being a "cafeteria Catholic" ("I want this doctrine, but not THAT one") or she could leave the Church.
My mother chose to leave, and never looked back. As far as she was concerned, it was the same God and the same Bible no matter where she worshipped.
In due course, she had me, and although there was a C-Section involved, there was much rejoicing of grandparents. Five years later (once again, NOT RHYTHM METHOD), at age 37, she had a Vaginal Birth After C-Section. This is a combination of risk factors that would make any HMO go ballistic, but she did it anyway. YES, MY MOTHER APPARENTLY KNOWS NO FEAR AND HAS NO PROBLEM TELLING BOTH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HER OB-GYN TO FUCK OFF AND LET HER BRING HER KIDS INTO THE WORLD THE WAY SHE SEES FIT.
So why do I recount this story when I'm blogging about the right to choose? Because in both her pregnancies, my mother was being told that she had made choices that the establishment felt were wrong, that her options were limited and that she shouldn't rock the boat by doing anything any MORE radical. In both cases, she said "Screw that!" and did it anyway.
In both cases, she wanted the pregnancy, she and Dad both wanted it and had planned the timing meticulously. Having grown up knowing how much they wanted and loved me, I know what a blessing that is for a child, a blessing that no child should ever, EVER be without. If Mom had been in a different set of circumstances either time, where she was being pressured to continue with a pregnancy that had come seven years earlier when they wouldn't be able to afford it, or where she was being pressured to continue with a pregnancy that a serious risk to her health, it could have spelled a very different future for me or for my younger brother.
No woman should have to carry a child she does not feel she can love or care for properly. No child should ever have to feel unwanted and unloved. That's why I believe in choice.