Holly, Holly, Holly......You
Oh where do I ever start with this girl. I honestly don't know where to start, and once I do, I probably will never be able to finish. Oh well, here goes.
Holly...how do I even describe her. Have you ever considered your "dream girl"? Picked out physical features, qualities, values, beliefs, behaviors etc and based your opinion of every girl you ever dated off of that "perfect model" in your head? Anyone who has knows for certain they'll never find a girl that's exactly like that...we have unrealistic concepts. That's what a dream is about, exploration of theoretically impossible ideas. Until about five days ago, I'd wouldn't have thrown in "theoretically". I have to hedge that now because, as cliche' as it's going to sound, occasionally a dream can come true.
And that's Holly. I'd be lying if I said, on the surface, she wasn't every guy's dream girl. Ok, not EVERY, but pretty much. There are very few guys who wouldn't love a really gorgeous, smart girl who likes sports...and could carry on an intelligent conversation about them. So there's that. But that's just the beginning of things. I have one of those "perfect girls" in my head. I have for years and I'm slightly ashamed to say that I have in fact compared every girl I've dated against that "ideal standard" so it should come as no surprise that when I started formulating an attraction to her, I did the same thing. Not knowing her in person just yet made that a tad more difficult, but there was still plenty to go off of.
It was during that process that it all started to come together in my head. I weighed my ideal girl against Holly and, in what I had originally believed to be impossible...Holly won. I know, that sounds ridiculous but, damn it all, she did. By the time it was time to meet her in person, she could have been the ugliest thing on the planet, and it wouldn't have mattered. Coming from someone with a history of being a tad shallow, that's a pretty relevant comment.
This is the part in this particular entry where I pretty much just wax on and on about why she's so amazing. I mentioned she's gorgeous, she's as bad (which is good) as me when it comes to hockey and baseball, she's absolutely the sweetest girl I've ever met, she's very emotionally expressive, quirky, fun, upfront and honest, capable of communicating etc...I get a sense of loyalty from her that I've never experienced. I have very little physical evidence to base that on thus far...but the feeling is seriously that strong. She's a 50-50 kind of girl in a relationship. She has the right balance between "It's (her) problem" and asking for help, letting me be able to console, comfort and care etc...She's the perfect combination of dominant and submissive so to speak. Perfectly capable of handling things herself but willing to face things together as well...I can carry on 5-hour phone conversations and never get bored, tired or run out of material to talk about. That sounds kinda minor but it's a HUGE deal to me. And let me say, I've NEVER laughed so hard as when I'm talking with her. She's trusting, but also open about potential misgivings and uneasiness. Her biggest insecurities are out in the open already and I feel no shame in sharing mine with her either. She knows how/when to be cute, strong, dainty, girlie, take the lead etc...
She can be like a best friend one second, "one of the guys" another and a sweet, compassionate and caring girlfriend the next. She can take and give shit with the best of them and I never have to worry about her being hurtful or taking me the wrong way. I can't stress enough the fact that she really is a bit of everything and knows exactly which side of her is warranted in any given situation. And of course, I can't forget the wonderful unpredictability and quirkiness that truly makes Holly, Holly. Ask her what her beliefs and values are....English Muffins. Does that make particular sense? Does that have deep, metaphorical significance? Fuck no...it's just random and hilarious. She is able to latch on to a joke and take it a LONG way and keep it funny. These past few minutes I've been having a great text conversation with her about my nickname (Princess Chelsea) and how we should have a coronation and make me Drag Queen Chelsea. Her response "It'll depend on if I can get Mario and Wario to stop fighting long enough to show up". Does it make a whole lot of sense? Not in the strictest sense. Take it deeper and it does of course but....is it funny as hell? Yes. I love it. It's constantly stuff like that too....but that doesn't exclude the times when she can be deep, serious and truly human. I feel like I know some of the deepest and emotionally laden portions of her. The scariest, most uncomfortable stuff about her she could throw at me was easy to take in stride and accept as part of her. And the real kicker? This goes both ways!
In sum, she's, as previously mentioned, the "Dream Girl" that no one thinks exists. 95% of the time, I'm not sure she really is. Just some figment of my imagination, little more than a vesper. I could keep this going for WEEKS....and at some point down the road here, I'm sure I'll do this again because the wonderful, amazing, awesomeness that is Holly will continue, I imagine, to enamor, enthrall and hook me in. But for now....I had better stop or the fact that I miss her is going to leech like a malignant tumor and make me all depressed again.
Holly...how do I even describe her. Have you ever considered your "dream girl"? Picked out physical features, qualities, values, beliefs, behaviors etc and based your opinion of every girl you ever dated off of that "perfect model" in your head? Anyone who has knows for certain they'll never find a girl that's exactly like that...we have unrealistic concepts. That's what a dream is about, exploration of theoretically impossible ideas. Until about five days ago, I'd wouldn't have thrown in "theoretically". I have to hedge that now because, as cliche' as it's going to sound, occasionally a dream can come true.
And that's Holly. I'd be lying if I said, on the surface, she wasn't every guy's dream girl. Ok, not EVERY, but pretty much. There are very few guys who wouldn't love a really gorgeous, smart girl who likes sports...and could carry on an intelligent conversation about them. So there's that. But that's just the beginning of things. I have one of those "perfect girls" in my head. I have for years and I'm slightly ashamed to say that I have in fact compared every girl I've dated against that "ideal standard" so it should come as no surprise that when I started formulating an attraction to her, I did the same thing. Not knowing her in person just yet made that a tad more difficult, but there was still plenty to go off of.
It was during that process that it all started to come together in my head. I weighed my ideal girl against Holly and, in what I had originally believed to be impossible...Holly won. I know, that sounds ridiculous but, damn it all, she did. By the time it was time to meet her in person, she could have been the ugliest thing on the planet, and it wouldn't have mattered. Coming from someone with a history of being a tad shallow, that's a pretty relevant comment.
This is the part in this particular entry where I pretty much just wax on and on about why she's so amazing. I mentioned she's gorgeous, she's as bad (which is good) as me when it comes to hockey and baseball, she's absolutely the sweetest girl I've ever met, she's very emotionally expressive, quirky, fun, upfront and honest, capable of communicating etc...I get a sense of loyalty from her that I've never experienced. I have very little physical evidence to base that on thus far...but the feeling is seriously that strong. She's a 50-50 kind of girl in a relationship. She has the right balance between "It's (her) problem" and asking for help, letting me be able to console, comfort and care etc...She's the perfect combination of dominant and submissive so to speak. Perfectly capable of handling things herself but willing to face things together as well...I can carry on 5-hour phone conversations and never get bored, tired or run out of material to talk about. That sounds kinda minor but it's a HUGE deal to me. And let me say, I've NEVER laughed so hard as when I'm talking with her. She's trusting, but also open about potential misgivings and uneasiness. Her biggest insecurities are out in the open already and I feel no shame in sharing mine with her either. She knows how/when to be cute, strong, dainty, girlie, take the lead etc...
She can be like a best friend one second, "one of the guys" another and a sweet, compassionate and caring girlfriend the next. She can take and give shit with the best of them and I never have to worry about her being hurtful or taking me the wrong way. I can't stress enough the fact that she really is a bit of everything and knows exactly which side of her is warranted in any given situation. And of course, I can't forget the wonderful unpredictability and quirkiness that truly makes Holly, Holly. Ask her what her beliefs and values are....English Muffins. Does that make particular sense? Does that have deep, metaphorical significance? Fuck no...it's just random and hilarious. She is able to latch on to a joke and take it a LONG way and keep it funny. These past few minutes I've been having a great text conversation with her about my nickname (Princess Chelsea) and how we should have a coronation and make me Drag Queen Chelsea. Her response "It'll depend on if I can get Mario and Wario to stop fighting long enough to show up". Does it make a whole lot of sense? Not in the strictest sense. Take it deeper and it does of course but....is it funny as hell? Yes. I love it. It's constantly stuff like that too....but that doesn't exclude the times when she can be deep, serious and truly human. I feel like I know some of the deepest and emotionally laden portions of her. The scariest, most uncomfortable stuff about her she could throw at me was easy to take in stride and accept as part of her. And the real kicker? This goes both ways!
In sum, she's, as previously mentioned, the "Dream Girl" that no one thinks exists. 95% of the time, I'm not sure she really is. Just some figment of my imagination, little more than a vesper. I could keep this going for WEEKS....and at some point down the road here, I'm sure I'll do this again because the wonderful, amazing, awesomeness that is Holly will continue, I imagine, to enamor, enthrall and hook me in. But for now....I had better stop or the fact that I miss her is going to leech like a malignant tumor and make me all depressed again.