this sums up a lot of what has been on my mind lately

[themoon]

"We all still harbor deep psychological pain and painstakingly patched up wounds which we suffered in childhood and adolescence. People we trusted may have disappointed or abandoned us, and the largely unconscious pain left behind continues to have a strong influence on our present-day behavior. You can now have the chance to grow out of obsolete

Comments

[thejuicy]

I sometimes think back on my childhood and wonder how much the events that took place have helped shaped who I am today. I imagine that my relationship with my parents growing up has had a ginormous impact on my relationships with others in the real world. I don't think anyone can really escape this influence, whether or not they are aware of any sort of influence.

Sometimes, especially lately, since my parents are talking divorce again, I find myself drowning in the past. I want to go back and start over from childhood and not do the stupid shit that I did. But hindsight is always 20/20, and I guess the reason from that is so that we can learn and move on. If we don't learn from the mistakes or from the painful experiences we face then we have wasted an experience. We cannot grow.

And we should always be growing & changing & pushing forward. Thinking about pain from the past and wasting time wishing I could change what happened is not allowing me to instead work on what it currently going on with me. Am I going to spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself and feeling like I got a raw deal because of the way my parents raised me? Fuck no. I can't believe how many people are willing to succumb to unsealed fates and do nothing to grow into functioning adults who contribute to society. It's hard to change our own attitudes and behaviors but it is perhaps the most rewarding thing of all to realize that you need to change, and then to actually make an effort towards that change.

[themoon]

wow dude I feel like I read this before and it didn't really hit me as hard, but THIS. This so much. Well said sister.