old
Ok, so it has been over a year since I think I have updated my journal. That would be my 50th year. In people years.
Fuck, I am soooo old. I went out with these little girls tonight, most of them younger than my children and oh, man did I feel old. How did this happen? I can't even FAKE being young anymore. Not only do I not look it, but my kids are almost 30. WTF. I am freaking out. I could actually die at any time now. I mean of complications of old age. Shit, I already have Alzheimer's disease. I wish I could forget being old, or forget being young. I'm not sure which would make me feel better. All that I know is this is hard for me. Not looking young is absolutely the pits. Why am I living in the part of the world that reveres youth? Why can't I live in China where being old is what everyone wants to be? I know I am ranting. I can't even help it. In fact, I feel compelled to go on and on about this, but since I have had four glasses of wine (whine) I should probably end this now, and work on this tomorrow or some other time when I can think coherently. hopefully, there will be a tomorrow.
Fuck, I am soooo old. I went out with these little girls tonight, most of them younger than my children and oh, man did I feel old. How did this happen? I can't even FAKE being young anymore. Not only do I not look it, but my kids are almost 30. WTF. I am freaking out. I could actually die at any time now. I mean of complications of old age. Shit, I already have Alzheimer's disease. I wish I could forget being old, or forget being young. I'm not sure which would make me feel better. All that I know is this is hard for me. Not looking young is absolutely the pits. Why am I living in the part of the world that reveres youth? Why can't I live in China where being old is what everyone wants to be? I know I am ranting. I can't even help it. In fact, I feel compelled to go on and on about this, but since I have had four glasses of wine (whine) I should probably end this now, and work on this tomorrow or some other time when I can think coherently. hopefully, there will be a tomorrow.