Stress levels beyond belief!
So, my new job turned out to be not exactly what I expected. My division director has yanked me for one of the Modernization projects and I'm on the Requirements team for the IRS's next big modernizied product. This is MEGA stressful, as in the past, when previous modernization projects failed they pointed at the requirements as the failure point :/ Not cool.
I'm even the Requirements Manager, but I've since found out there's two of us, though they don't have the other one picked yet. So I'm not all alone doing something that I've only evern done a little bit of in the past! At least they are aware of that, they picked me because of my knowledge of the 'big picture'. I know how all the IRS systems connect to each other etc.
They wanted me to travel as the teams are split up in Austin and Ogden, but I told them with a baby - what with daycare and nursing - I really can't be away over night. My director said she's make sure I didn't have to travel. I've had meetings with all these muckity muck high up executives that make me really nervous, more nervous than I've been on 10 interviews combined.
One of the reasons my division director pulled me for this is also for succession planning. My branch chief told her I wanted to go into management, and this is a big name, high profile project that gets me alot of face time with the higher ups and really tests my negotiation and people skills, as well as tech knowledge. It's a HUGE challenge, and I was sick to my stomach for two days after I found out about it. Now I'm feeling more confident, but still, its kinda like being thrown into the river right above Niagara falls in a straight jacket to learn how to swim!
I miss Marlowe terribly every day when I go to work now. I'm still getting to work from home once a week, though I'm looking at some week long meetings when I'm not even sure how I'll be able to pump. So I won't be able to come home and see him for lunch. At least Jim has been getting off early - not good for the paycheck, but good for the baby - so he's not at daycare that long.
Breastfeeding is still not going well; I'm almost exclusively pumping during the day and he'll nurse at night. He's also teething, so when he's awake and frustrated he's taken to biting me. That really really hurts! I try to detach him before he bites, as usually he'll start to turn his head to the side, but he's doing that so often all he's doing is latching and unlatching and not nursing. So since I always have to pump afterwards anyways, and Marlowe's too impatient with my flow & amount, we tend to give in and give him a bottle instead of having him cry, I'm pretty much just pumping and giving it to him with some formula in a bottle. We're still 50/50 at home, but he's formula only at daycare.
His teething is really bothering him. He's biting everything and drooling like mad. He's even fussing like crazy on the bottle and I think it puts pressure on the sore spot on his gums or something sometimes. I've resorted to giving him a bit of baby tylenol twice now to get him to settle down, drink and take a nap.
This morning he woke up SCREAMING. Really scared the crap out of me. I thought I'd pinched him or something (we co-sleep) or the cat had scratched him. I didn't know what to think! I checked him over real quick and cuddled him close and he woke up and stopped screaming immediately. Next thing you know he's cooing and smiling up at me and rooting around a bit for boobie. WTF? People in my parenting LJ group think he had a nightmare, sure seems like it! Poor guy! Poor mommie! but at least it was only 15minutes before the alarm was to go off.
We got him into his swimming class! It starts in October - he had to be 6mths old. One more week and he'll be 5mths! He's definately sitting now, mostly with the help of his hands, but he can sit that way for a couple of minutes before toppling over. Jim put his high chair together last night so he can sit with us and watch us eat. One of the big steps to starting him on solids is that he is curious about them. So watching us eat should help that along as he wonders what Mommy and Daddy are doing. I've also been having him smell the food as I eat to see what he thinks. He doesn't like the smell of twizzlers.
On his 4mth check up he was 17lbs and 27 inches long, putting him in the 95% percentile. He's about to grow out of his infant car seat, so we got him his convertible seat, need to make an appointment to get it inspected. He got his shots at that appt too, he freaked out, mommy cried. All together crappy experience. He gets more at his 6mth appt. :( Poor little guy! He's wearing 12-18mth clothing now pretty much. He's grown out of just about everything everyone gave us for the baby shower. Some things he only got to wear once before he grew out of them. I got him a Ramones onsie, as well as the "Even I'm smarter than the president" shirt that I wanted :)
Gonna head home and see Daddy and baby for lunch today, miss them both so terribly much!
I'm even the Requirements Manager, but I've since found out there's two of us, though they don't have the other one picked yet. So I'm not all alone doing something that I've only evern done a little bit of in the past! At least they are aware of that, they picked me because of my knowledge of the 'big picture'. I know how all the IRS systems connect to each other etc.
They wanted me to travel as the teams are split up in Austin and Ogden, but I told them with a baby - what with daycare and nursing - I really can't be away over night. My director said she's make sure I didn't have to travel. I've had meetings with all these muckity muck high up executives that make me really nervous, more nervous than I've been on 10 interviews combined.
One of the reasons my division director pulled me for this is also for succession planning. My branch chief told her I wanted to go into management, and this is a big name, high profile project that gets me alot of face time with the higher ups and really tests my negotiation and people skills, as well as tech knowledge. It's a HUGE challenge, and I was sick to my stomach for two days after I found out about it. Now I'm feeling more confident, but still, its kinda like being thrown into the river right above Niagara falls in a straight jacket to learn how to swim!
I miss Marlowe terribly every day when I go to work now. I'm still getting to work from home once a week, though I'm looking at some week long meetings when I'm not even sure how I'll be able to pump. So I won't be able to come home and see him for lunch. At least Jim has been getting off early - not good for the paycheck, but good for the baby - so he's not at daycare that long.
Breastfeeding is still not going well; I'm almost exclusively pumping during the day and he'll nurse at night. He's also teething, so when he's awake and frustrated he's taken to biting me. That really really hurts! I try to detach him before he bites, as usually he'll start to turn his head to the side, but he's doing that so often all he's doing is latching and unlatching and not nursing. So since I always have to pump afterwards anyways, and Marlowe's too impatient with my flow & amount, we tend to give in and give him a bottle instead of having him cry, I'm pretty much just pumping and giving it to him with some formula in a bottle. We're still 50/50 at home, but he's formula only at daycare.
His teething is really bothering him. He's biting everything and drooling like mad. He's even fussing like crazy on the bottle and I think it puts pressure on the sore spot on his gums or something sometimes. I've resorted to giving him a bit of baby tylenol twice now to get him to settle down, drink and take a nap.
This morning he woke up SCREAMING. Really scared the crap out of me. I thought I'd pinched him or something (we co-sleep) or the cat had scratched him. I didn't know what to think! I checked him over real quick and cuddled him close and he woke up and stopped screaming immediately. Next thing you know he's cooing and smiling up at me and rooting around a bit for boobie. WTF? People in my parenting LJ group think he had a nightmare, sure seems like it! Poor guy! Poor mommie! but at least it was only 15minutes before the alarm was to go off.
We got him into his swimming class! It starts in October - he had to be 6mths old. One more week and he'll be 5mths! He's definately sitting now, mostly with the help of his hands, but he can sit that way for a couple of minutes before toppling over. Jim put his high chair together last night so he can sit with us and watch us eat. One of the big steps to starting him on solids is that he is curious about them. So watching us eat should help that along as he wonders what Mommy and Daddy are doing. I've also been having him smell the food as I eat to see what he thinks. He doesn't like the smell of twizzlers.
On his 4mth check up he was 17lbs and 27 inches long, putting him in the 95% percentile. He's about to grow out of his infant car seat, so we got him his convertible seat, need to make an appointment to get it inspected. He got his shots at that appt too, he freaked out, mommy cried. All together crappy experience. He gets more at his 6mth appt. :( Poor little guy! He's wearing 12-18mth clothing now pretty much. He's grown out of just about everything everyone gave us for the baby shower. Some things he only got to wear once before he grew out of them. I got him a Ramones onsie, as well as the "Even I'm smarter than the president" shirt that I wanted :)
Gonna head home and see Daddy and baby for lunch today, miss them both so terribly much!