its been awhile
not much has been going on of late. but i gotta vent some thoughts anyways.
-work is on and off decent. some weeks it feels good to be working, then other weeks, such as this past one, it seems my presence is pointless.
-i struggle with finding who my true friends are. the ones who i think are can be very...i dunno...not there. it seems if i don't initiate something, as in, "hey, we should do something," i never hear from them. i don't know why that is. maybe i'm just too pushy. maybe i need to calm down. or maybe they don't feel the same about me as i do them and we aren't that good of friends as i originally thought. i claim i have no best friend. but if someone held a gun to my head, asking me to choose at least 2 or 3, the ones i would pick are included in my previous statement.
-although, with that being said, i am losing one of my best friends this week. she is moving to florida on friday and it kills me. i know we will still talk, but it doesn't make it easier. change sucks.
-i need a freakin drink...
-nothing to tell as far as the love aspect of my life. there is someone i can't stop thinking about, but i have no desire to persue, on account of the impossibility of the situation. i would like to move on without her, but i have no will to have a relationship...with anyone...too damn stressful. its a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. maybe someone will declare thier undying love for me...i can dream...can't i?
time seems to be kicking my ass. it can heal wounds. but its also a scary bitch. not knowing what will happen tomorrow. not knowing what will happen in an hour. very frightening...
-work is on and off decent. some weeks it feels good to be working, then other weeks, such as this past one, it seems my presence is pointless.
-i struggle with finding who my true friends are. the ones who i think are can be very...i dunno...not there. it seems if i don't initiate something, as in, "hey, we should do something," i never hear from them. i don't know why that is. maybe i'm just too pushy. maybe i need to calm down. or maybe they don't feel the same about me as i do them and we aren't that good of friends as i originally thought. i claim i have no best friend. but if someone held a gun to my head, asking me to choose at least 2 or 3, the ones i would pick are included in my previous statement.
-although, with that being said, i am losing one of my best friends this week. she is moving to florida on friday and it kills me. i know we will still talk, but it doesn't make it easier. change sucks.
-i need a freakin drink...
-nothing to tell as far as the love aspect of my life. there is someone i can't stop thinking about, but i have no desire to persue, on account of the impossibility of the situation. i would like to move on without her, but i have no will to have a relationship...with anyone...too damn stressful. its a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. maybe someone will declare thier undying love for me...i can dream...can't i?
time seems to be kicking my ass. it can heal wounds. but its also a scary bitch. not knowing what will happen tomorrow. not knowing what will happen in an hour. very frightening...