Fic again!
This is pretty much for nickelodeon, as it's Paulie and partially her fault. Makes total sense, yeah?
Title: A Lesson in Futility
Rating: PG. Unless you're Paulie.
Words: 550
Characters: Iceburg, Paulie
Iceburg was tired of it. It was stupid and it was useless and it was distracting one of his best workers from doing his job. There simply was no point to this paranoia and if it hadn’t solved itself sometime in the last, oh, five years, it clearly wasn’t going to.
In short, Paulie was simply going to have to get over this thing he had about the skin of a woman, no matter the cost.
Which is what brought Iceburg, Paulie in tow, to a convenient pool one day after work. It had been difficult to convince Paulie to accompany him, the man really did have a strange sense of propriety sometimes. Actually, if he didn’t the conversation wouldn’t have been necessary at all…
“Uh, why exactly are we here again and what does it have to do with rigging?” Paulie’s cheeks were slowly taking on the color of a very intense sunburn despite the tan he’d been acquiring over the several years working out in the docks.
“Nma, it has to do with you not getting tangled in the rigging whenever Kiwi or Mozu show up.” Iceburg surveyed the pool. It was a good day. Plenty of young women sunbathing. He glanced at Paulie to see how he was taking it.
Paulie’s eyes were screwed shut in determination not to look.
“Paulie.”
“Ngrrk.”
“Nma, open your eyes.”
His eyes remained firmly closed, but there was the sound of a gulp and the accompanying sight of his adam’s apple bobbing with nerves.
“Now, Paulie.”
“How about after we leave this place of sin?!” Paulie squeaked out as though he was back in the years of puberty and his voice had yet to settle.
“But, nma, that would defeat the purpose.”
“No disrespect, Iceburg-san, but I’d rather not.” He was inching backwards now, clearly trying to escape.
This was bordering on ridiculous. No, scratch that, it was beyond ridiculous. Perhaps it had been endearing once, back in the days when there was a hope he’d eventually grow out of it, but the last time Kiwi had dropped in and startled the man, he had very nearly driven a nail through his own hand and would certainly have dripped blood all over a freshly painted panel. This certainly would not do at all.
“Paulie. If you try to run I will tie you up with your own ropes. And I most certainly have the advantage as you refuse to open your eyes, nma.”
Paulie’s eyes flew open at that. “You wouldn’t.”
Iceburg merely gave him a look which read loud and clear ‘Oh yes I would, now get over it.’
Of course it was at this moment that Paulie’s brain apparently decided to recognize that his eyes were, in fact, open and that unlike most people, Iceburg might possibly make a better window than a door because he could see miles of naked womanflesh.
He did the only logical thing in a moment like this: he fled. And hoped Iceburg wouldn’t catch up.
Iceburg sighed. It would probably be easier to simply force the entire female population to adopt a fashion that included high necks and long skirts than to ever change Paulie’s ways.
Really, he was a man who could likely hammer nails into a ship simply with pure hardheadedness.
Title: A Lesson in Futility
Rating: PG. Unless you're Paulie.
Words: 550
Characters: Iceburg, Paulie
Iceburg was tired of it. It was stupid and it was useless and it was distracting one of his best workers from doing his job. There simply was no point to this paranoia and if it hadn’t solved itself sometime in the last, oh, five years, it clearly wasn’t going to.
In short, Paulie was simply going to have to get over this thing he had about the skin of a woman, no matter the cost.
Which is what brought Iceburg, Paulie in tow, to a convenient pool one day after work. It had been difficult to convince Paulie to accompany him, the man really did have a strange sense of propriety sometimes. Actually, if he didn’t the conversation wouldn’t have been necessary at all…
“Uh, why exactly are we here again and what does it have to do with rigging?” Paulie’s cheeks were slowly taking on the color of a very intense sunburn despite the tan he’d been acquiring over the several years working out in the docks.
“Nma, it has to do with you not getting tangled in the rigging whenever Kiwi or Mozu show up.” Iceburg surveyed the pool. It was a good day. Plenty of young women sunbathing. He glanced at Paulie to see how he was taking it.
Paulie’s eyes were screwed shut in determination not to look.
“Paulie.”
“Ngrrk.”
“Nma, open your eyes.”
His eyes remained firmly closed, but there was the sound of a gulp and the accompanying sight of his adam’s apple bobbing with nerves.
“Now, Paulie.”
“How about after we leave this place of sin?!” Paulie squeaked out as though he was back in the years of puberty and his voice had yet to settle.
“But, nma, that would defeat the purpose.”
“No disrespect, Iceburg-san, but I’d rather not.” He was inching backwards now, clearly trying to escape.
This was bordering on ridiculous. No, scratch that, it was beyond ridiculous. Perhaps it had been endearing once, back in the days when there was a hope he’d eventually grow out of it, but the last time Kiwi had dropped in and startled the man, he had very nearly driven a nail through his own hand and would certainly have dripped blood all over a freshly painted panel. This certainly would not do at all.
“Paulie. If you try to run I will tie you up with your own ropes. And I most certainly have the advantage as you refuse to open your eyes, nma.”
Paulie’s eyes flew open at that. “You wouldn’t.”
Iceburg merely gave him a look which read loud and clear ‘Oh yes I would, now get over it.’
Of course it was at this moment that Paulie’s brain apparently decided to recognize that his eyes were, in fact, open and that unlike most people, Iceburg might possibly make a better window than a door because he could see miles of naked womanflesh.
He did the only logical thing in a moment like this: he fled. And hoped Iceburg wouldn’t catch up.
Iceburg sighed. It would probably be easier to simply force the entire female population to adopt a fashion that included high necks and long skirts than to ever change Paulie’s ways.
Really, he was a man who could likely hammer nails into a ship simply with pure hardheadedness.