gotta throw something out...
i had forgotten exactly what i've been through in my lifetime until i read back on my own words as well as the words of those close to me. i enjoy having this journal. i've noticed the growth, maturity, and basic increase of my understanding towards my life. i've learned the secrets that i was lost in previously. it's difficult to release some of the things that i've been holding on to. however i think that through some sort of random inspiration, i may be able to release my grip. and if i don't then i know i'll still be fine. i realize how through my "adult" qualities i have been so childish. i'm stuck in dates like december 25th 2005 and february 4th 2006. my problem is that i've been living in them all over again instead of remembering and learning from them. i feel better today. with some hope, a little luck, and lots of bravery i can see a wonderful friendship. i wont have to worry about being smacked anymore. i thought about not posting this but... i need to have it where i can look back and smile at my success. as some know, im afraid of success. perhaps another problem to which i must find an answer. things can only get better. i should take this time that i've allowed serenity for myself to do some of the things i've been putting off. working on music, poetry, or some of the more real tasks such as moving out of my house or obtaining a license and vehicle. yes i had forgotten how truely great life is. life is good, love is great, and i look forward to a long, prosperous, joyful time to self-indulge in both.