...and i'll become what you became to me
a big part of my life consists of making wishes. it's one of my many wierd obsessions, but i wish on anything and everything. every eyelash, every yellow light driven under, every ladybug. i schedule my life around knocking at 11:11, and i'll stare at the sky for a full thirty minutes, waiting for a shooting star. i've fallen into a comfortable routine of constantly wanting something more.
i've determined that a wish comes true only after it is made 1,000 times. either that, or five years after the actual wish is made. it's the only way, because approximately five years and 1,000 wishes after the initial wishmaking began, things finally started to come true.
so now why am i in a wish rut? my eyelashes are stuck tight, lights keep turning red, and every single 11:11 turns before i get the chance to do anything. funny how this starts happening just as everything starts going wrong.
so i'm going to stop making wishes. they were nice while they lasted, but who am i kidding? i actually believe in them coming true. i've spent actual hours thinking about everything wonderful that would happen if i found some magic lamp...and realized that i've wasted hours of my life on the brink of actually believing something so far out of my reach. can't i ever just be happy with what i have?
maybe while i'm dying of grounded boredom in my room this weekend, i can spend some serious reflection time on my life, because i am luckier than most. i don't really deserve all my wishes. i don't even really know what i'm talking about, but when i started, i felt a definite purpose. it happens a lot in life.
and you know, if this is meant to go down the drain, then it is. i'm doing everything i can, so i can at least rest assured that nothing can be my fault.
my top 10 is calling to ruin the mood.
:: so long to the blue days of wishing // if wishes were changes, there'd be no goodbyes ::
xoxoxoxoxo