(no subject)
well jeff's birthday was a success, tho there at the end well i suppose she has every right to but geez, throw me a bone here, shot down and dragged around as noisy as a sack of bones jesus why do i smoke before i write in this thing. ok. the "asshole" thing. i'm beginning this thing all breaks down to aestetics. I JUST LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE. so therefore, without it really being anyone's fault, since its just some sort of inherited presence problem, i just look like one, as a cat looks like cat, or a rock looks like a rock, so here i am, mildly schizo, just positioning myself, just now getting a good enough hold whereto not be so nervous and overthetop intense madness boy plus excessive drinking drugs and just whiggin out on everyone guy and all the other me's that were just frightened little whats, just now not so much afraid anymore, finding to my surprise a few good things about myself and believing i possess them, not so scared i couldn't, so i whipped and i quipped till i hit a nerve because that's just the way i was back then but now... well now i'm more sure-footed i don't take things as personally but the asshole is still there, but more for a laugh, ok ok i'm a asshole.
i beeen living off of mucho lacko sleepo lately, working long days, ugh, so i slept a lot today. i think i'm gonna stick around the house for most of today because i need to hold onto some money cuz chad is moving out of his parent's house. a room has opened up at a friend of mine named bobby's house and i can afford it and it's closer to work and being in the burbs is stifling my creativity something major and just fucking hell yeah i think i'm gonna start writing a novel (i just hope i can finish it) and i'm gonna write a set of folky tunes and tour with sixpackadelia into the deep swamps of lousiana and eat and drink only mosquitoes because that's who we'd be if we were really who we were altogether in a pastel caricature we'd use it as the cover for our next lp "ode to the chimneys all stuck to my lip" but you realize at this new place there is no phoneline and my live journalness is liable to suffer but i'll pass thru now and then you little funnies you.
i went next door to borders to find a funny thing to say in russian to the new girl lera but russian is hard. i couldn't even understand the prenunciation. so instead i settled on, in the most smooth, sexy voice i could muster, saying, "i'd really loooove to see your bicycle."
i beeen living off of mucho lacko sleepo lately, working long days, ugh, so i slept a lot today. i think i'm gonna stick around the house for most of today because i need to hold onto some money cuz chad is moving out of his parent's house. a room has opened up at a friend of mine named bobby's house and i can afford it and it's closer to work and being in the burbs is stifling my creativity something major and just fucking hell yeah i think i'm gonna start writing a novel (i just hope i can finish it) and i'm gonna write a set of folky tunes and tour with sixpackadelia into the deep swamps of lousiana and eat and drink only mosquitoes because that's who we'd be if we were really who we were altogether in a pastel caricature we'd use it as the cover for our next lp "ode to the chimneys all stuck to my lip" but you realize at this new place there is no phoneline and my live journalness is liable to suffer but i'll pass thru now and then you little funnies you.
i went next door to borders to find a funny thing to say in russian to the new girl lera but russian is hard. i couldn't even understand the prenunciation. so instead i settled on, in the most smooth, sexy voice i could muster, saying, "i'd really loooove to see your bicycle."