buried
i took them in my hands and i tried to make them well...
it didn't work, and now i'm left standing here with all the guilt.
a list made for forgiveness
hopper's sibling
three unnamed baby bunnies
one unnamed baby bunny
one wild baby bunny
clover
one adult bunny
four baby chimney swiffs
one robin
felix
sassycat
one unnamed kitten
i knew all but the robin and adult bunny.
i saved none of them. i watched them die, one by one by one, in my lap, in my hands, in my sight... they bled on me as they died, and their cries made the sounds i couldn't formulate for my tears.
i promised that i would make it right.
i didn't make it right, didn't make them not hurt, didn't make then whole and healthy... couldn't even ease their pain.
all i could do was watch and try not to prolong their agony.
i couldn't even end their agony.
there is so much blood on my hands.... they will never be clean.
and i volunteered for this job?
and sitting here, trying to pretend it doesn't hurt... how many more must i add, how many more will i kill with my inability to save...
how many more have to die???