day 5- definition of love
Ugh, I hate lofty questions like this... like when you're in school and your teacher tells you that the prompt for the stream of consciousness is this: Describe green to a blind person. Yuck.
Anyway... I think love changes depending on the object of said love. I don't think all wives love their husbands (or husbands their wives) the same way. That doesn't necessarily mean less, but it could. I'm thinking of all of the recently married couples I know... and I that I don't love Stan the way Sarah loves Alex, or the way that Katie loves Anthony. The relationships are too different. I've also experienced this with other guys I've dated. The "feeling" of being in a relationship wears off, even as a giddy highschool girl, and you start to appreciate the particular feelings you have for the partner in question. I'm not saying I've loved a billion other guys, but I've had feelings for other people, and they were very different than the feelings I have for Stan. Maybe though, that's just because I "actually" love Stan and not those other guys? Who knows.
I think one of the saddest dynamics that is often called love is what I have officially deemed "mutual fear of separation." This is when two people think they love one another, but their actions show that they obviously don't. Both parties, however, have been in the relationship so long, and have become so comfortable, that they wouldn't know what to do with themselves as a single person. I think the loss of self happens to some degree in most relationships, but it's sad when it becomes the only factor holding a couple together. I've seen it billions of times (estimation/exaggeration) and usually the parties can't see past their own nose- they have no idea that everyone knows how awful they are together. Usually this eventually ends in some horrible dramatic way- A messy breakup when someone comes to their senses, or cheating. I would say cheating is more popular. I do know (and admire) one couple that has broken through their poor chemistry, taken a break, and come back together as stronger more self-confident people- They went from an emotionally abusive relationship in shambles based on the fear of leaving, to a cool dynamic couple with individual interests, as well as shared hobbies. I think it's the best success story I've seen. :)
There are other kinds of love too, of course. The love I have for my dog, and my cat. The love I have for my family... but even then it's different. My feelings toward my sister are totally different than my feelings toward my brother. One could say "yeah, but you still love them both, that feeling is the same...." but it's totally not true. That sounds bad. I do love them both, but maybe it's because I love them for different reasons (and sometimes can't stand them for different reasons....) ?
I guess my conclusion is that I couldn't make an accurate dictionary definition of love, because I think one word encompasses so many different emotions and situations... some of them are shoved into the "love category when they shouldn't be... etc.
Anyway... I think love changes depending on the object of said love. I don't think all wives love their husbands (or husbands their wives) the same way. That doesn't necessarily mean less, but it could. I'm thinking of all of the recently married couples I know... and I that I don't love Stan the way Sarah loves Alex, or the way that Katie loves Anthony. The relationships are too different. I've also experienced this with other guys I've dated. The "feeling" of being in a relationship wears off, even as a giddy highschool girl, and you start to appreciate the particular feelings you have for the partner in question. I'm not saying I've loved a billion other guys, but I've had feelings for other people, and they were very different than the feelings I have for Stan. Maybe though, that's just because I "actually" love Stan and not those other guys? Who knows.
I think one of the saddest dynamics that is often called love is what I have officially deemed "mutual fear of separation." This is when two people think they love one another, but their actions show that they obviously don't. Both parties, however, have been in the relationship so long, and have become so comfortable, that they wouldn't know what to do with themselves as a single person. I think the loss of self happens to some degree in most relationships, but it's sad when it becomes the only factor holding a couple together. I've seen it billions of times (estimation/exaggeration) and usually the parties can't see past their own nose- they have no idea that everyone knows how awful they are together. Usually this eventually ends in some horrible dramatic way- A messy breakup when someone comes to their senses, or cheating. I would say cheating is more popular. I do know (and admire) one couple that has broken through their poor chemistry, taken a break, and come back together as stronger more self-confident people- They went from an emotionally abusive relationship in shambles based on the fear of leaving, to a cool dynamic couple with individual interests, as well as shared hobbies. I think it's the best success story I've seen. :)
There are other kinds of love too, of course. The love I have for my dog, and my cat. The love I have for my family... but even then it's different. My feelings toward my sister are totally different than my feelings toward my brother. One could say "yeah, but you still love them both, that feeling is the same...." but it's totally not true. That sounds bad. I do love them both, but maybe it's because I love them for different reasons (and sometimes can't stand them for different reasons....) ?
I guess my conclusion is that I couldn't make an accurate dictionary definition of love, because I think one word encompasses so many different emotions and situations... some of them are shoved into the "love category when they shouldn't be... etc.