another day, another dime
ooooooh me, oh life. seems to be something i say here and there in a good deal of reflection.
finally saw men who stare at goats. in the middle of pirate radio at the moment.
playing guitar. i had taken a biot of a reprieve from it for just a bit, what with some underways and holidays. but i have picked it back up this last little bit, and im still improving. still a bit of a way to go, but not so garbage anymore. in fact, a thing or two sounds pretty good.
i don't know what has come over me. but ive been thinking of my mortality. and that of those around me. we don't really have that much time. and nothing is garaunteed. i dont want to waste my life living in ought to's or want to's. i know what i want, i know the people i care about and want to be with. i know the music i want to hear. i know i want to play the guitar. i know i want to be good. i know i want to travel, and help others. i know that i love.
beyond all that i have a feeling. its the biggest one ive ever had. and ive had it for over 2 and a half years.
i'll follow it
my whole life i have followed my feelings. my intuition. and i've always felt like that feeling comes from somewhere else. that it was fate. some kind of force guiding me. i have no doubts that it has led me to where i belong. it has told me what is right, and what is wrong. it is this feeling that grips me now. as i said, bigger than ive ever had it. and this same feeling brings to me that sense of mortality. which tells me all the more that i cant delay in following it. i dont know how much longer i've got left to to be able to follow it. maybe im just grabbing at air. but at least ive got something to really grab for. i think a lot of people go their whole life just dreaming of feeling half of the passion or intensity that i feel. i will say that given the option between feeling nothing and going numb (another something im too familiar with) i do prefer this feeling. but i do have to pause and consider it. its kinda rough. but oh so beautiful. and i wouldnt trade it for anything. maybe some day i will have to let it go. and if i do, i know that there will never again be anything like it. and i will look back and smile.
if nothing comes of it, it won't be for a lack of me trying, or letting go. if it doesnt work out. then i suppose that is just life. and it will suck. but if ive got even the smallest bit of a shot. then ill put myself out there and drive myself crazy, in persuit of the only thing that really even gets me to feel.
thats love. in myself, for someone, with someone.
john paul jones once said "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"
im going where the feeling takes me. i hope youre there at the end.
today is grey, the weather is mild. nothing too spectacular about it. but i see it as another chance. at least in this moment i do. and appreciate it for what it is. so today and right now are beautiful
i love ya! i do. i dont know what youll do with it. but ive gotta put it out there.
have an amazing day today! do something that you really feel. that you really want.
LIVE. i mean really.
live.
as the cliche goes, you might not get another day.