Shooting the Rapids - Chapter Twenty
Title: Shooting the Rapids
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 94,185 / 105,220
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Summary: The sequel to Standing on a Precipice. Rachel and Santana have managed to survive the turbulent waters of the loss of Jesse and the shocking truth hidden in Santana’s marriage. Now two years later, new troubles arise with Shelby taking a stand in defense of her daughter against Santana’s "corruption" and the involvement of the tabloids as the couple becomes more and more drawn into the public eye. Kayla’s success in gymnastics brings interest from an unexpected direction and Santana has decided she wants to try again for a child of her own. Can they survive as a couple and help their children thrive amidst the chaos?
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks thereof in later chapters
Chapter Twenty
It was nearly nine hours later when Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed holding a clean and hungry baby. She'd gotten up a couple of times when Ari started fussing with a dirty diaper and Beth had come home. The blonde teen was in better spirits than she'd seen in a while after dinner with her biological mom and the promise of even more time with her tomorrow as Quinn had promised to help her babysit while Rachel and Santana went out.
Now their three oldest had come home from their night with Rachel's dads and were settled in their beds sleeping. Rachel gently stroked her fingers through black hair, smiling softly down at how gentle and peaceful her lover looked in sleep. "Hey, love," she whispered, "ready to wake up?"
Santana groaned and fought the urge to wake up. She mumbled and buried her head further in the pillow, causing her dark hair to splay across the white sheets. "No. Sleep." She whispered her hands fisting into the sheets in reluctance to wake up and move.
Rachel chuckled softly, having missed the sleep-loving side of her girlfriend. "Okay, but our little one is hungry and would like to eat. At least help me a little. She wants it straight from the source and who better than her mommy?"
Santana flopped herself over and covered her head with her pillow. She didn't wanna wake up but she didn't want to deprive her daughter either so she just gave Rachel access to the opening of her button down shirt and tried to drift back to sleep.
Rachel shook her head with a fond smile, reaching over to flip open Santana's buttons with one hand as Arianna watched with her fingers in her mouth. "Your mommy's really sleepy, baby girl, but she still wants to feed you. She feels the best when she's feeding her little girl," she whispered to the baby, kissing her before easing one of her lover's full breasts out of the nursing bra she'd fallen asleep in and settling Arianna in place.
The sleeping mother squeaked when their daughter latched on. After a few seconds of trying to fight off being awake, Santana pulled off the pillow and moved to a sitting position with the baby in her arms. "Morning." She whispered as she tried to fight off the sleep daze.
"Not quite," Rachel replied with a soft smile, leaning over to kiss Santana over their daughter's head. "We can go back to sleep once she's settled, if you like."
"Crazy baby," she mumbled, fighting to keep her eyes open as she ran her fingers through the thick hair on her daughter's head, "why do you gotta wake up all the time?" She smiled as Arianna reached her chubby arm up and tangled it in her hair. "Ow. Baby stop pulling my hair, that's your mommy's job." Santana joked softly.
Rachel carefully untangled Arianna's hand from Santana's hair. "I thought it was your job to pull my hair, love," she teased, settling in beside them. "How are you feeling?"
"This is true as well." Santana sighed, "I feel like i got hit by a truck. I hate those pills." She looked up and rubbed her eyes. "They make my head hurt when I wake up. But, I guess sleeping is okay. Did Beth and the kids get home, okay?" she asked as she slid down the bed and cradled the infant to her breast.
"They did and they're all in bed. I know the pills make you groggy, but you really needed the sleep and," she smiled softly, keeping her voice low, "it's still entirely early and we still have hours to sleep off the after effects once I settle your beautiful girl back into bed."
Santana smiled tiredly and switched Arianna to her other breast. "She's hungry this morning." She noted as she looked at her daughter.
"She also slept almost six hours without a peep," Rachel noted with a smiled, reaching over to brush a hand over their daughter's head. "I think she knew her mom needed to get some real sleep, so she waited for you."
"She's a good baby," Santana whispered as she looked fondly at her child. "She's so beautiful.. thank you so much for giving me her." She said, her voice wavering with tears as she tried to hold back her emotions.
"I'd give you anything, Santana," Rachel murmured, brushing her lips across Santana's head, "because I love you and you and our children mean everything to me. You are the most important things in my universe. Thank you for giving me two more reasons to wake up every morning. You," she gently stroked Arianna's head as she suckled, "and our little girl. Helping you to have her was the easiest choice I've ever made."
Santana smiled tiredly as their daughter tore her mouth away and reached for Rachel. "She wants you," Santana said as she let Rachel take the baby and she snuggled back into the bed. She pulled the blankets back up over her and burrowed her head in the pillows. "Night, baby." She whispered before dozing off again.
Several hours later, Rachel was nervously wiping her hands on her black dress and looking into the mirror in the bathroom trying to calm down. It was Santana, her girlfriend. They loved each other. They had four children together for Barbra's sake!
But it was still their first real date.
And she wanted nothing so much as she did for everything to go perfectly. She wanted Santana to be happy again. She wanted them to be together again.
Taking a deep breath, she smiled at herself. "You can do this, Rachel," she whispered, reaching up to run her fingers over the cool surface, "It's Santana and she loves you. Just go out and have fun and remind her that we have a life outside of the children."
Closing her eyes, she centered herself and pretended she was about to walk out on stage, letting the fear and anxiety flow away. Relaxing, she opened her eyes and stepped out of the bathroom to find Santana.
Santana was in the bedroom nursing Arianna one more time before they headed out. She was nervous when she heard that Rachel wanted to take her out and had almost refused but then she got an angry text from Quinn more or less stating that she would kick her ass if she didn't let Rachel take her out tonight. Santana gave in. She was nervous about leaving Arianna and the other kids but she knew Quinn and Beth could handle them. She was mostly just nervous to be alone with her girlfriend.
She had slipped into a sleeveless purple dress and a pair of heels after she finished nursing and laid the baby on the bed and changed her into pajamas. "Be good for Beth and Quinn tonight okay?" She whispered as she picked her back up and headed out into the hallway.
Alex and Cale were playing with Legos on the floor and Kayla was finishing her homework at the table when Santana walked in.
"Mommy, you look pretty." Alex smiled and looked up adoringly at his parent.
"Thanks, buddy, are you gonna be good tonight?" she asked looking down at her little trouble makers.
Alex nodded, poking Cale until he looked up at Santana and gave her a big smile showing off his missing front tooth. "We'll be good, Santa. Promise."
"Santi, will you check my homework when you get home?" Kayla asked curiously, coming over to give the woman a hug.
Santana leaned down and hugged the girl and kissed her head. "Sure, baby, we can check over your homework tonight or tomorrow after church okay?" She asked not sure when Rachel's night was going to be over. "You'll help Beth with the boys at bathtime?" Kayla nodded, 'That's my girl."
Rachel came into the room but ended up just leaning against the door frame and watching her beautiful girlfriend interacting with their children with a tiny smile. "So beautiful," she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief.
Quinn came out of the kitchen and gave her a light shove, raising a brow when she shot her a look over her shoulder. "Don't you have a date to get to, Hobbit? Go on before the coach changes back into a pumpkin."
Rachel rolled her eyes, but smiled and pushed off the wall, walking towards Santana. "You look... amazing, sweetheart." She knelt down to hug the boys, "You boys be good for Aunt Quinn and Beth or there will be consequences."
"Yes, Mama," their voices were muffled into her shoulders but she still heard them, turning to kiss their heads.
"Okay. If you're good maybe we can all have a special treat for dessert tomorrow, but you have to be good." She admonished, leaning back and ruffling tousled hair. "Kayla will tell me if you're not. Right, Kay?"
Kayla grinned impishly and nodded, hugging her mother, "Uh-huh. You and Santi have fun, Mama. We'll be good."
Rachel stood after getting her hug and turned to Santana, holding out her hand hopefully. "Ready to go, beautiful?"
Santana nodded nervously as she handed the infant to Quinn. "Okay. Yeah. We, um... should go." She whispered as she waved to the children and headed out to the car.
"Santana?" Rachel had to move quickly to catch up to her. She started to reach out for her hand but thought better of it after Santana had refused it moment earlier. "It's just me. I just... I miss you. I wanted to spend some time just us, being a couple again. We never really had a chance too. But," she looked down, her shoulders slumping and her voice softening, "if you don't want to go out with me, we don't have to."
"It's..." Santana bit her lip and jumped when she heard a photographer call her name. "It's them.. It's always them." She whispered as she ducked into the car. Once inside, she caught her breath again and struggled to be not nervous. "I want.. I want to go out. I just get overwhelmed."
Rachel got in the car and offered Santana a shy, uncertain smile. "You're sure it's not that you don't want to be with me? I don't care if they take my picture. I don't care who sees me with you. I just want to be with you, but I promise I won't make you if you don't," her voice caught in her throat for a moment, "want to be with me anymore."
"I'm... I just don't want the papers to write about out family anymore, okay?" she said softly and looked at Rachel. "I know I've sucked lately and you don't have to believe me but I do love you and it's just been really hard these last few months to feel anything..."
Rachel looked up at Santana with a tiny smile and held out her hand again, hoping that this time she'd take it. "That's what tonight's for. Hopefully to help you feel something again. I may be taking you out tonight, but you're in charge, Santana. If you don't want to do something, we won't. I just want to see you smile again..."
"Okay." She said softly as she took Rachel's hand and sighed as Ajay drove them to wherever Rachel had told him. "Where are we going, Rae?" She asked as she smoothed her thumb over Rachel's wrist as she held her hand.
"Dinner first," Rachel smiled at Santana, trying to reassure her, "I know you're not completely happy on a strict vegetarian diet," she smirked, tapping Santana's shoulder, "don't give me that look. I know you sneak burgers and other exceedingly unhealthy and morally questionable items into your diet."
Ajay pulled up out front of a small restaurant without a single photographer in sight and she moved to open the door. "And I prefer you happy, so I thought we'd come here," she gestured at the restaurant as she got out and turned to offer her hand to help her date out. "They offer plenty of meat dishes as well as an extensive vegetarian selection for me. They also have excellent reviews, but don't yet have enough of a following to garner the paparazzi crowd around most of the other appropriate establishments." She smiled shyly, referring back to their first meal together all those years ago, "I hope you won't consider me racist if I admit it's also a Mexican American establishment."
"You would." Santana chuckled softly, "You have a Latina fetish." She said softly as she followed Rachel into the restaurant and let them get seated. Santana watched Rachel remove her jacket and she smiled softly, "You look really beautiful, Rachel." She spoke as she took off her own and sat down.
"Thank you," Rachel blushed, picking up a menu, "but I rather think I have a Santana fetish. Just any Latina clearly won't do for me. And you are stunning, Santana. You always are, but tonight," she smiled shyly over the top of the menu, "tonight you're positively breath-taking."
"Not really. My body is still wicked gross, and my dress barely fits." She said softly, not really realizing that she was back to her normal size despite her breasts. "But I guess thanks if you believe it," She shrugged and looked at the menu when it was handed to her. "I don't want to eat meat if it makes you uncomfortable. My doctor... she said that I'm looking a lot of like whatever with breastfeeding and that my body might need the extra nutrients or whatever."
"Your body, Santana," Rachel gave her a pointed look, "is amazing. You look even better now than you did in high school and you were incredible then." She blushed lightly, glancing at her chest, "Now you're beyond that and I'm so amazed I get to be the one who takes you home. But if you eating meat was going to make me uncomfortable, then I wouldn't have brought you to a place that serves it and suggested you get it." She reached across the table, her palm up. "Order what looks the best to you. I don't care what it is as long as you're happy. You're not making me eat it and I'm not as fussy as I was in high school."
"Okay," she said as she rested her fingers in Rachel's palm. "If you're okay with it," she shrugged as she looked through the menu trying to find the least fattening item on the list. "What.. What are you going to get?" She asked, feeling awkward about being alone together since it was the first time in years.
Rachel perused her menu, humming softly as she gently stroked her thumb over Santana's hand. "Perhaps the vegetarian fajita platter. It sounds delightful. You can get a steak if you'd like, Santana. Get whatever sounds good and don't worry about calories or whatever else you might be fretting over." She set down her menu, looking across the table at Santana. "I love you and if you're that worried, we can go for a walk later, but you are absolutely beautiful, Santana Lopez."
"I think... um maybe arroz con pollo?" She said as she looked up, "Can we get guacamole? I've like been thinking about it for a few days now..." She said brightly as she looked up with a smile. "Plus it's vegan."
"Definitely," Rachel responded, squeezing Santana's hand and smiling brightly at her as the waiter came up. Handing him the menus and giving him their order, she turned back to her girlfriend. They smiled and chatted with each other, slowly growing more comfortable as their food was served and the empty plates carried away. Finally, Rachel asked the question that hat been hanging heavily over both of them, "Am I the only one feeling really weird about us having our first real date after living together for nearly five years now and having a child together?"
"Thank Christ, I thought that was just me!" Santana exclaimed, "Have we ever actually be alone together?" She asked with a slight chuckle as she ran her fingers over the smaller woman's palm as they talked, not realizing how much she craved the contact after nearly four months.
Rachel laughed, finally relaxing. "Oh, we've been alone," she began with a teasing smirk, "just not out and alone. It's kind of exciting. Should I leave you at the door with a kiss and a thank you for the wonderful night when we get home? Or will you invite me inside?"
"Um... well, we might not make it inside... It has been quite awhile and you know... the kids and everything. We could play this how I used to in high school and go to the movies... or the backseat of a car." She winked as she took her straw in between her lips.
"Really?" Rachel struggled not to sound to hopeful, "You... would want to?" Her shy smile slowly brightened, "If it weren't for the dratted photographers, I'd suggest the front door, but they don't deserve a show." She brushed her fingers lightly against the inside of Santana's wrist, "I like the idea of the car though..."
Santana shivered and licked her lips. She wasn't confident as she normally was, but she did know what her body wanted. She looked at her girlfriend and nodded, "Yeah. I think we could stand a little bit of getting reacquainted." She smiled bashfully.
"We can let Ajay go find something to do for a while maybe?" Rachel nibbled on her lower lip, her fingers continuing to smooth over the soft skin, "Because I would truly like the opportunity to get to get to know you again. I've missed you, Santana."
"I missed you, too." Santana admitted softly. When the waiter came over and looked at them Santana's head snapped up. "Check, please," She demanded curtly, holding her hand out for him to handed it over. She quickly slipped her credit card in the bill case and handed it back to him. "Why don't you call Ajay and have him leave the car and we'll head over?" she asked as the waiter headed off to settle the check.
"That sounds like a wonderful plan," Rachel grinned at Santana, blushing with anticipation as she pulled her phone out of her purse and sent Ajay a text. She received one in return a couple of moments later. "He's left it in a parking lot a couple blocks over and is going to see a movie." She laughed, "I think he knows us too well."
Santana slipped her wallet back into her bag after she signing the check and stood up sliding her coat on then helping Rachel on with hers. She tangled her fingers with the smaller woman's and headed to the door. She was quiet on the way to the new SUV that they had bought to haul all the kids around in, nervous about being with Rachel again, her body, her emotions. Everything.
"Santana?" Rachel murmured quietly, leaning into the taller woman slightly as they walked and looking up at her with a reassuring smile, "Remember that it's just me and that I love you and you are completely beautiful. Let's just be a couple of teenagers in Daddy's borrowed SUV tonight for a little while." She squeezed their fingers together, "I bet you could have given Jesse a challenge for me if you'd tried in high school." She dragged her thumb over Santana's knuckles, her voice low and slightly husky as she leaned up to whisper in her lover's ear, "Wonder if you could have convinced me to let you have me before he did..."
Santana smirked and pressed Rachel up against the black car as soon as she found it. She leaned in and pressed her lips to the spot under Rachel's ear that made the smaller woman squirm and smirked, "That's not even in question," She said with an air of confidence, "I could have - and I would have - had you if I tried." She flicked her tongue over the shell of Rachel's ear as she spoke.
"Are you sure?" Rachel's voice wavered slightly as Santana kissed her neck, becoming slightly breathless, "I think I would have made you," she swallowed, "work for it. Maybe you would have gotten bored?"
"Are you gonna make me work for it now?" She mumbled as she kept working on the woman's neck. "I don't like to have to work for things, I'm much more used to them coming to me and wanting me."
"I've been wanting you for," Rachel's breath hitched, her heart hammering in her chest as she brought her hands up to grip Santana's shoulders and pull her closer, "years, Santana. The only work you have to do now is get this door open. My dress is feeling restrictive, but I don't want to give anyone a free show."
Santana pulled away from the car and unlocked the door using the keypad. She turned the girl around and she tugged the zipper on Rachel's dress down. "Get inside the car." She growled as she looked at Rachel like she hadn't eaten in years.
Rachel laughed breathlessly, excited by the look Santana was giving her. Clambering into the backseat, she triggered the button to lay the seat flat. "What do you have in mind, Santana?" She tried sounding coy, but she looked a bit too eager to pull it off.
Santana didn't say anything, she just crawled into the car, pulling the door closed behind her and sliding her hand up Rachel's thighs. She pushed up the black fabric to expose the other woman's silk panties. Santana didn't bother with any preamble as she ducked her head down and pressed a kiss to the woman's silk covered core. "Mine," She said horsely as she looked up over the woman's hips.
Rachel swallowed harshly and wiggled her dress up and over her head, tossing it to the floor and leaving her in nothing but a black silk bra and panty set. "All yours," she whispered, watching Santana with dark eyes, "always, Santana..."
Santana licked her lips as she slid up the smaller woman's body and hovered over her. She leaned down and kissed her possessively, tracing her tongue over her lips as she moaned. "I missed you," she whispered against her lips as she slipped her leg between Rachel's and arched up.
Rachel's nails scraped lightly over Santana's neck as she kissed back, tangling her tongue with Santana's and moaning into her mouth. She arched her back, pressing her wet core into Santana's thigh and grinding against her. "I've missed you so much," she whimpered, sliding her own leg up between Santana's legs and tugging at her zipper. "Please let me see you...?"
Santana pulled away and tentatively pushed the zipper of her dress down. She pulled it over her head and threw it on the driver's seat. She looked down at Rachel, her tanned skin contrasted by the light pink lace that covered her core. She hadn't worn a bra since none of hers fit yet and her nursing one's did not look good with a dress. She rested her hands on Rachel's stomach, as she bit her lip.
Rachel could only stare for a long moment, looking just as awed as she did the first time they made love. "You're beautiful," she whispered, her hands coming up to gently stroke and trace over tanned skin. "I thank God every day that I'm allowed to be with someone as amazing as you, Santana." Her hands traced up her sides to cup full breasts, squeezing gently, her thumbs moving to lightly stroke over dusky nipples remembering how sensitive her own breasts were while she was nursing. "You're perfect..."
"F-fuck." Santana whispered as she head fell forward. Her fingers traced patterns into Rachel's stomach as she started rocking slightly with the pulse that ran through her. "That feels.. really good."
Rachel licked her lips, watching her hands massaging Santana's breasts as they rocked against each other. "Santana," she swallowed, working her jaw, "can I...?" Her eyes darted from Santana's breasts to her face before falling back. She missed the taste of her lover's skin, but she didn't know if Santana wanted it.
"I-if you want," she whispered as she licked her lips, her chest arching towards Rachel. She was nervous but she couldn't deny Rachel anything at that point. "Please... just touch me."
Rachel's lips gently brushed over Santana's skin as she arched up. She moved carefully, softly caressing her breasts with lips and tongue as she moved closer to her nipples. Finally, she tentatively brushed the stiff peaks with her tongue before carefully wrapping her lips around one and sucking softly, careful not to put too much pressure on them. Her fingers traced patterns over Santana's skin as they slid around to cup her ass and pull her down harder against her thigh.
Santana moaned and ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. Her hips rolled and she clutched Rachel's hair. She rocked back and forth against the girl's thigh before moving to slip hers further in between Rachel's. "T-together." She whimpered as she leaned back slightly and writhed and pressed up against Rachel's core.
Rachel whimpered, pressing her back against the seat so she could arch her hips up into Santana, rolling against her. "P-please," she panted, nails digging into Santana's ass as she ground into her. She was close, so close. She looked up at Santana with eyes nearly black with desire, "Kiss me. Please, just...kiss me."
The darker woman leaned down and captured Rachel's lips, the kiss bruising in force as she rolled her hips quicker in a panic to get them both off. She groaned as she groaned as she rocked her wet core into Rachel's thigh, "Need... fuck." Santana whimpered as she brought one of her hands up to her breast and tweaked her nipple then moved to do the same to Rachel.
Rachel reached up with one hand and kneaded one of Santana's breasts almost roughly. Taking a quick breath, she surged up and wrapped her lips around a nipple, gently biting and tugging as she pressed her thigh harder into San's core. As she grew closer and closer to falling over the edge, she forgot to be gentle, sucking hard, her eyes widening in startled surprise as a burst of slightly sweet liquid filled her mouth as she froze and pressed hard against Santana, trembling with release.
Santana clutched the car seat and cried out as she thrust quickly, shaking with pleasure. She gasped and moaned out Rachel's name as she rode out her orgasm. She panted as she fell down against Rachel's shoulder and snuggled into her shoulder, "Wow." She whispered and reached for the woman's hand to tangle their fingers together.
Rachel quickly swallowed down her lover's breast milk and licked her lips as she wrapped her arms around Santana and held her close. "I missed this with you," she whispered, gently rubbing Santana's back, "I've missed you so much, love."
"I missed you too," She whispered as she kissed Rachel lightly and cringed slightly when she tasted her milk. "Did... you get a mouth full?" she asked with a arched eyebrow.
Rachel blushed darkly, "I'm sorry, but I think I did. I didn't mean to do that but you tend to make me forget my own name when you touch me, let alone how to control myself. I'm sorry..."
"I just don't want you to do that if you think it's gross." She sighed and nuzzled Rachel's neck and peppered it with kisses. "I just don't think it's really that sexy."
"Gross?" Rachel arched a brow in surprise, "How could I think it was gross. It's natural, Santana, and you're still nursing our baby girl. If I forget myself and suck too hard, I'll get a mouthful. It's not like it tastes bad, love," she teased, "I don't know if anything that comes from you could taste bad."
Santana shrugged, "I guess... I don't know." She said softly as she pressed a kiss to Rachel's breastbone. She snuggled for a little bit before standing up. "I think Ajay will be back soon... we should put clothing back on so he doesn't get an eyeful."
"You're right, of course. But I'd like to hope we could continue the cuddling at least at home?" Rachel looked at her hopefully as she reached for her dress and wiggled back into it. She didn't want their renewed connection to end just because they were back at home with the children. "I mean, I hope more than cuddles could occur but just...something?"
"Yeah," Santana smiled as she pulled her own dress over her head and reached forward to roll down the windows to air out the smell of sex. She came back and rested against the seat to try to catch her breath. "I haven't felt like that in a long time." She smiled lazily.
Rachel leaned over against her with a shy smile, one hand lazily drawing patterns over her stomach. "I suppose I've been neglectful of my girlfriendly duties. With your permission, I would like the opportunity to resume them at the soonest convenience." She rested her head on Santana's shoulder, "I mean, I love you and I've missed being able to make love with you the last few months. It felt like I'd lost something. I wasn't sure if you wanted me anymore after a while. Thank you for not giving up on me, Santana," she whispered.
"I'd never be able to give up on you... I know Arianna is four months, but I just didn't feel like myself, you know?" she said as she picked up Rachel's hand. "I didn't give up to you. I gave up on myself and that's the problem." she whispered, "My doctor said I'd be better if she put me on medication, but I wouldn't let her because I didn't want to stop nursing. I just feel like I let everyone down. I shut everyone out... you the kids, I just don't know how to get everything back to normal."
Rachel used the grip Santana had on her hand to raise it to her lips and brush a kiss across the back. "I think this is a good start, don't you?" She smiled shyly, "Maybe we could do this more often? Go out together for dinner, just us? We could make it a once a month thing. I'm sure Beth could handle the children for a couple hours and Mina could help if we want to take a little longer."
"We could try that." Santana smiled and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder as Ajay got in the car and gave them a knowing smile. The new mother blushed and turned her head into Rachel's neck s he drove them home.
"Next time," Rachel whispered into Santana's ear, trying to control her own blush, "hot as this was, I'm renting us a hotel room."
"I agree with this idea." She smiled and kissed Rachel softly and settled into their ride home.
Chapter Twenty-One