Shooting the Rapids - Chapter Five
Title: Shooting the Rapids
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 18,381 / 105,220
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana
Summary: The sequel to Standing on a Precipice. Rachel and Santana have managed to survive the turbulent waters of the loss of Jesse and the shocking truth hidden in Santana’s marriage. Now two years later, new troubles arise with Shelby taking a stand in defense of her daughter against Santana’s "corruption" and the involvement of the tabloids as the couple becomes more and more drawn into the public eye. Kayla’s success in gymnastics brings interest from an unexpected direction and Santana has decided she wants to try again for a child of her own. Can they survive as a couple and help their children thrive amidst the chaos?
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks thereof in later chapters
Chapter Five
It was never easy leaving the children behind with someone else while Santana and her left for somewhere - she much preferred to have them along whenever possible - but it was easier when they were with family like Beth. And then there was the reason they had to leave them that day. Rachel reached over and took Santana's hand, holding it between the two chairs in the nicely appointed office and giving it a gentle squeeze as she offered the pale woman a soft smile.
"Hey, girlfriend," she whispered, stroking her thumb over the back of her lover's hand, "are you okay?"
Santana was nervous. Honest to god nervous. "What if it doesn't work?" she asked softly. "If it doesn't take? Or I miscarry? I can't... I can't do that again, Rachel."
"If it doesn't take this time, then we try again," Rachel brought Santana's hand up to her lips and kissed it softly, "Just like we would if we were a straight couple trying for a child, though admittedly, this method is less fun, but we can always try the traditional method as often as you'd like." She winked at Santana, "And if the worst happens... I'm here. I won't leave you alone, sweetheart. I promise you, no matter what, I'm going to be right here beside you."
Santana exhaled sharply, "I know..." she whispered, "I don't know how to deal with the thought of loosing another child. Am I being selfish wanting this? We have three kids, that should be enough!" she looked shaken and very much fighting demons in her head about wanting a baby.
"Santana," Rachel's voice was soothing as she tried to calm her girlfriend, "you're right that we have three children - three wonderful children, I like to think - but we share them with Jesse. This baby though..." she kissed her hand again, smiling warmly at the nervous woman, "This baby is going to be ours, Santana. Just you and me. You still want that, right? You want to have a baby with me still, right?"
"Yes, you know I do..." she whispered back, as she looked to the floor her hair falling in front of her eyes. "I just... I feel... I'm scared," she admitted. "I can't deal with losing a baby, not after everything... Not after I know what happened with Alejandra."
"And that's not going to happen here." Rachel stated firmly, squeezing Santana's hand and reaching over to lift her chin so she'd meet her eyes, "I am not Tobias. I am your girlfriend, the person who is going to be the second parent to your child and who loves you more than anyone with the possible exception of our children. And I am going to make certain that you are treated with all the love and respect that an expectant mother deserves." She smiled softly, her thumb tracing over Santana's cheek, "I'm going to take care of you, beautiful, and you are going to have a beautiful child."
"We are going to have a beautiful child," she reminded the diva. She took her hand and smiled. "I'm just nervous." she sighed as she looked to her girlfriend and took a breath when she heard her name get called.
Rachel chuckled, "No, I believe I had it right. You are going to have our child, I'm just the cheerleader this time around." She leaned over and quickly kissed her lover's cheek before they stood to head in, "I love you, Santana. You're going to be an amazing mother and I am so glad I get to be the one beside you."
She nodded and tugged Rachel's hand as she headed into the room. She took the gown when offered it and quickly changed into the thin paper-like gown. "I'm almost relieved that the bite marks you left on my thighs are faded... don't want the doctor to think I'm a slut..." she smiled trying to make light of the situation.
Rachel laughed, a blush coloring her cheeks as she helped her up on the table, "Don't worry. If they hadn't - or if the doctor is foolish enough to ask - I am fully prepared to take full ownership of making you a - hopefully - completely satisfied woman." She leaned up and kissed Santana, smiling against her lips, hands resting lightly on her lover's thighs.
The sound of someone clearing their throat behind her made her pull away with a blush and a little jump. The doctor - an older woman with a wry grin and greying hair and a name-tag that said "Dr Winters" - chuckled, coming fully into the examination room and closing the door behind her, "Let's not jump the gun, ladies. While you are taking the first step on bringing a new life into the world, there's no need to be quite so literal." She stepped to the counter, setting her clipboard down and washing her hands before pulling on a pair of gloves, "So, Santana, ready to become a mother-to-be?"
"Y-yes?" she replied, tilting her head to the side as she did so. "I mean I wouldn't be here If I didn't..." she looked at Rachel nervously.
Rachel just smiled and held her hand having become use to Dr. Winters' humor during the various phone calls she'd made to the specialist to relieve her own worries regarding Santana's upcoming pregnancy. The doctor laughed and walked over to the table, patting Santana's knee and pulling the stirrups up on the table. "Don't worry, dear. There's no need to be so nervous, I assure you. This is a fairly simple procedure and I'm feeling very good about this being a viable pregnancy. I also," she winked at Rachel, "have the feeling you have a very attentive partner who will do just about anything for you. So just lay back and let's get you knocked up, shall we?"
Rachel blushed, ducking her head as she squeezed Santana's hand. "I'm right here, Santana. I'm not going anywhere."
"I just... I'm worried about the scarring... Like I have some damage and my daughter died and I don't think I can handle that... I couldn't..." she bit her lip as she held Rachel's hand. She hated feeling weak but she was honestly more scared then ever before.
Dr. Winters pulled the stool over and sat on it looking up at Santana, "Well, first of all, let me reassure you that what happened with your daughter wasn't your fault, Santana. We ran every possible test and I can see nothing on any of the results that would indicate that you should have trouble carrying a child to full term. From what I understand from the circumstances involved, you were being abused and your mind and body were under far more stress than a person should have to undergo. Now, Rachel here has reassured me - quite vehemently I might add," Rachel blushed darkly, turning to bury her face in Santana's shoulder, "that she is going to do her best to eliminate as much stress as she possibly can from your life."
"We're going to have you in here every few weeks checking on your progress, Santana." The doctor squeezed Santana's knee reassuringly, "I can assure you that while I may crack wise to try and relax my patients, I am highly qualified in my field and I am going to doing my best to make certain your child is safe and comes into this world noisy and healthy in nine months. Okay?"
"Okay." Santana nodded, laying back as she watched as the doctor began to wash up and get the tools together. She pressed a kiss to Rachel's head and closed her eyes, trying to relax as she breathed in the soft smell of Rachel mixed with the laundry soap that reminded her of the children. She felt the now masked doctor return between her legs and begin the process of implantation.
"I love you so much," Rachel whispered in her ear, squeezing her hand, "I am so proud of you for taking this chance with me. Every day, you somehow manage to make me even more amazed and grateful that I have you in my life."
"I love you too." she blinked away tears that were falling out her of her brown eyes. "Tell me everything will be okay? That in 9 months we will have a little baby and it will be okay?"
"It will be better than okay, Santana." Rachel smiled softly at her, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, "It will be perfect. And in nine months, we're going to say hello to our baby and get to hold them for the first time." She brushed Santana's hair back with a soft smile, trying to ignore what was happening between her lover's legs, "And you're going to have Alex climbing in your lap to hold them just thrilled to be a big brother like Cale is. Cale and Kayla are big now, so they'll have to wait for their turns to greet their new baby brother or sister, of course."
"They'll be okay? Kayla won't resent me? And Cale will be okay with everything. I love them so much and I don't want them to be upset."
"Of course, they will. You're part of this family, Santana. And it's only right and proper that the newest member of our family comes from you." Rachel combed her fingers through her hair.
"There we are!" Dr Winters grinned up at them and patted Santana's knee, "You just lie still for a few minutes to give everything a chance to settle in and you'll be good to go." She rolled over to the counter, peeling off her gloves and tossing them into the disposal bin before jotting a few things down on her clipboard. "We'll just make an appointment for you to come back in in a couple of weeks to do the test to insure it took this time, but other than that, you are well on your way to being pregnant, Santana." She smiled at Santana. "How does it feel?"
"Awkward..." she said looking at the doctor, "like you just jammed some sperm into my vag..." she shook her head with a laugh. "This is so strange," she laid back and waited to hear the door close.
"Please tell me the baby making you partook in was a lot more romantic and pleasurable than this?" she asked with a pout.
"Mmm," Rachel murmured, "It was, but I believe we could make up for that after my fathers come to take the children for the weekend if you'd like." She traced her fingers over Santana's arm with a suggestive smile, "If you feel up to it, anyway. I feel particularly attracted to you knowing you could be carrying our future child inside of you and would most sincerely like to make slow, romantic love to the mother of our child."
Santana smirked and leaned over and kissed Rachel soundly. "I think that sounds perfect," she whispered, her lips nipped at Rachel's gently. "I want to fuck you so bad... I wish that you could have been the one to impregnate me," she said shyly, "but having you here, and knowing how much you want this... It makes everything worth it."
"Also, you need to ask the doctor when we can have sex. I don't wanna like detach the baby or whatever it is that the egg is doing up there." she motioned awkwardly to her pelvic region as she spoke.
"Well, as I understand it the traditional waiting period is two weeks," Rachel shrugged with a thoughtful expression, "I suppose we could wait that long until I can touch you if you'd like, though I admit I may have some difficulty maintaining my determination towards giving you the slow, romantic sex I wish to after such a drought. You're rather addicting after all, love."
Santana looked like someone had slapped her. "Two...two weeks!" she gasped, "I don't think I can manage that. Maybe you can just like lick my clit and not put anything inside me or whatever... cuz for fuck stakes... two weeks?"
Rachel did her best to not laugh at the outrage on her lover's face, "I did say that's traditional, Santana. Some doctors recommend waiting as long as three weeks before engaging in sexual relations, after all. From what I've read on the subject - and I assure you, I have been reading as much as I could find on the subject once you revealed to me that you would be interested in having a child with me - there is a theory that the uterine contractions associated with orgasm could interfere with the early stages of implantation."
"B-but. Normal ways of getting knocked up involve orgasms!" Santana was astounded, "Please, please tell me you're kidding? Because I don't know if I can wait three weeks, Rachel. It's ether that or your pussy is gonna be really sore because I'm gonna take out some serious sexual frustration on you." Santana crossed her arms and looked sternly at her lover.
"Exciting as that sounds," Rachel couldn't resist the smile curling her lips, though she did - just barely - manage to restrain the entirely inappropriate giggle that was threatening to break free, "perhaps you'd be interested in the school of thought that says there's no reason to wait more than a couple of days." She let her fingers trail lightly down the front of Santana's thin hospital gown, "Do you think you might prefer following their recommendation? Do you think you could wait until the weekend?"
"I hate you sometimes." Santana pouted as she snatched the woman's hand from her body. "You're mean and like to toy with my emotions." She kissed Rachel's palm and nodded before laying back. "I can wait... but you're getting fucked tonight one way or another I'm all angsty and nervous now." She pouted and threaded their fingers together as she looked at the other woman.
Rachel stopped trying to hold back her laughter, bursting out in joyous noise as she wiped away the happy tears sneaking out of her eyes, "Oh, love, you can use my body to take out any frustrations you may feel." She smiled lovingly down at her, "I do love the things you do to me, after all. And once my fathers steal the children away, I'm going to do my best to make you feel just as loved and beautiful and amazing and sexy as the mother of our child should feel." She let the backs of her fingers drift over Santana's cheek.
"You better, plus you gotta love me up while i'm still skinny." She smirked and leaned up to kiss rachel softly. "You should be warned that we will never be alone ever again with four kids under 12." She teased and rested back and looked at the wall with pictures of smiling babies. "Our baby will be up there," Santana smiled, and looked back to the woman holding her hand. "Our beautiful little baby."
"They will," Rachel smiled up at the wall, "the most beautiful of all of them. Though, just so you know, I," she glanced back down at her lover with a smirk, "have every intention of loving up on you when you're big with our baby as I am more than aware you will definitely want. God, I thought I was trapped in a near constant state of arousal when I started getting big. It was terribly frustrating and," she blushed, "I may have tried to rationalize my initial sexual attraction towards you as being directly related to the hormonal state I was in carrying Alex at the time."
Santana looked at her and blinked several times. "You mean," She said lifting her head off the parchment paper mat. "We could have been having sex during the year I was trying to court you and be your friend and not be a creeper lesbian preying on you?" She just shook her head and groaned, "Communication is a fail in this situation. We could have been having a lot more sex, Rachel."
"Well, no, not then," Rachel smiled sadly, her voice soft, "I may have been almost painfully aware of how attracted I was to you even as early as the day you stole me away to go to the spa - in my defense, you are exceedingly attractive and it was the first time I'd seen you wearing quite so little - but... Jesse was dying. I couldn't, Santana... I had to let him go and learn to live without him before I could let you into my life in that fashion. I'm sorry..."
"Baby." Santana said softly, "I know. I know you weren't ready. We waited for a long time because we both needed to figure out what we wanted. I love you. And I love that I could be there for you when you were going through hell. I did it because I loved you not because I wanted to get into your pants..." she smiled slyly, "Although I did enjoy it very much when I finally could get into your pants."
"Santana," Rachel scolded softly slapping her shoulder, but smiling as she did it. "You can be so terribly crude. But I'm still grateful you were there. I wouldn't have made it through everything if you hadn't been. And, though I wish very very much it had never happened," she leaned down to kiss her softly, "I'm so very glad I was able to be there for you when you needed me. I love you more than I love my life, Santana Lopez. Sometimes I feel like I always have. And this life we're creating right now?" She shook her head with a slow smile as if she was unable to believe it was really happening, "They're going to be amazing and I can't wait to stand beside you in that delivery room the way you did for me when Alex was born."
"I'm very scared to push a baby out my junk..." she said kinda nervously, "but yeah I've never been happier than how I am with you. I'm really blessed."
"I'm the one who's blessed," Rachel responded with a cheeky grin, "I get to make sweet love to the mother of our child who just happens to be my beautiful guardian angel. I do believe I win." She winked at Santana as Dr. Winters knocked on the door and poked her head back in.
"Okay, lovebirds, you've waited long enough. Time for Mama to be here to get dressed so you can head home and revel in your impending familial expansion. And remember, Santana, nothing strenuous for at least twenty four hours and I'd recommend holding off on the sex until we get a positive read on the pregnancy test so we're sure it took."
"How long till we know?" Santana asked as she sat up and grabbed her clothing. "LIke how long... til I'm pregnant?" She asked as she worried her lip. Nervous about the result, but more worried about when the next time she could have sex. She got up and went behind the partition and quickly got dressed before coming out and fixing her hair.
Dr. Winters smirked, having a fair idea of why Santana was asking, "Well, the earliest we should be able to detect whether or not this session worked is about two weeks..."
"Rachel read on the internet that it was okay!" she gaped, her eyes comically wide as she looked between the two other people in the room. "What the... she did lots of reading on the subject! It's not like she's a dude... with dude parts! If she was damn we wouldn't need you!"
Dr Winters laughed, "Santana, it's a recommendation, not an order. If you feel comfortable with the activity, then you can decide on your own whether or not it's right for you. But I am giving you an order to rest for at least a day, preferably two. And just because you're in bed doesn't make sex resting. Just take it easy and avoid too much stress and everything will likely be fine. This isn't the 2010s any more, girls. IVF is fairly successful these days. It's possible that you should be more concerned with the possibility of a multiple birth than a non-viable one after all."
"Cause going for a fourth when there are already three kids in the house isn't crazy enough." Santana joked, "Baby, if we have twins, we're gonna have to move to the suburbs and you know how that scares me." She smiled and put on her scarf, "Also, Dr. Winters. Never joke about sex with me. I take it very, very seriously."
The doctor merely raised an amused eyebrow. "I see that. I'm certain Rachel will see to setting up your appointment, so I'll see you in two weeks, Santana. Rachel, you had best take good care of your girl, alright?"
Rachel wrapped an arm around Santana's waist ducking under her arm and smiling up at her fondly, "The very best, Dr Winters."
"Good to hear. I know you'll call me with any questions so enjoy the rest of your day, take it easy for the next couple of days, and I'll see you both in two weeks. And Santana, if it didn't take this time, don't worry, we can just try again. You will become pregnant. I promise."
"I'll hold you to that, doc." Santana smiled walking out with Rachel, she smiled And called a taxi for them when they got outside. Santana pressed a soft kiss to Rachel's lips when she got off the phone. "Thank you for being here."
Rachel chuckled softly, snuggling into her lover's side as they waited for the cab. "Where else do you think I'd be but right by your side as you are impregnated with our child? It would be simply wrong to allow you to do that on your own just because I can't physically do the task myself. Though," she leaned up to kiss Santana's cheek; whispering in her ear, "I certainly don't mind trying. They say practice makes perfect after all." She dropped back down on her heels, waggling her eyebrows with a playful smirk.
"Give it two days and we can attempt all you want." she smiled as she looked at her girlfriend. The yellow taxi came and she held the door open and slid in after Rachel. "So... We might need to move. We don't have enough bedrooms unless we refurbish the 3rd floor for Kayla and Cale?"
"Third floor? The storage area?" Rachel thought about it, "That... could work. I," she blushed, glancing up shyly, "I don't really want to move. There are a lot of exceptionally fond memories in that house after all."
"Good. Because I really love that house." she smiled and quickly tapped an email out on her iPhone. "I'll find a contractor tomorrow." she wrapped her arm around Rachel and looked out the window. "I wonder if the boys conned Beth into letting them watch more TV then allowed?"
Rachel laughed softly, resting her head on Santana's shoulder, "I really wouldn't be surprised. Likely those dreadful Batman shows you love so much. I'm sure between her and Kayla though they haven't been too much trouble."
"Don't hate on the Batman, woman." Santana laughed softly, "I know you watch it when they do. I see you laughing." She moved to grab her wallet and pay the driver when they rolled up to their street. "Let's go check on the brood." She paid and got out of the car and headed to the door, she pushed it open. "CHILDREN! Make yourselves present!" Santana hollered as she unlocked it and kicked off her shoes.
"In the living room, Aunt San!"
They heard Beth calling out from further in the house. Heading in they found the lot of them sprawled on or around Beth on the couch, the boys apparently asleep while Kayla and her poured over what looked like a photo album open on Cale's back where he laid with his head in Beth's lap. The two girls looked up with a smile as the women walked in.
"Hi, Rachel, Aunt San," Beth had taken to calling Santana her aunt a few weeks ago - claiming she didn't really have one and it was weird enough having one sister that was old enough to be her mom, "I'm sorry we didn't come to the door but the guys are, like, passed out and Kay and I were totally checking out this photo album from when you and Jesse were in college, Rachel. I hope you don't mind..."
Rachel smiled, coming over to drop a kiss to the top of the teenager's head, "That's quite alright, Beth. The albums are there to look at after all."
Santana smiled as she looked over the children to the album in Beth's lap. "They look cute together don't they." She said and poked the tip of Kayla's nose. "Kayla looks so much like her dad, don't you think Beth?" the woman's head tilted to the side and she admired her daughter. "I think Cale looks more like Rachel and Alexander... well.. I'm not really sure who he looks like, but he's kinda cute too i guess." Santana teased and kissed Kayla's head before moving away from the couch.
"I don't look like a boy like Daddy, Santi!" Kayla yelped, little face twisted with outrage, "Take it back!"
Santana wrapped her arms around the girl and smiled, "You are a gorgeous girl." She said as she rocked them back and forth. "You are beautiful and much like your daddy, you have a beautiful soul and that's what I love about you." Santana kissed Kayla's temple before pulling away with a smile. "Beth, I do believe your mother is coming over for dinner in like an hour so you might want to wash that eyeliner off before she sees it."
Beth yelped and scrambled off the couch as quickly as she could without disrupting the boys using her lap as a pillow. "Oh my gosh, we were playing dress up earlier and I totally forgot! Thanks for reminding me, Aunt San!"
"Mmhm. I was your age once!" She called after the girl and headed into the bedroom to lay down. She carefully laid on the bed as she heard Rachel starting dinner. She put her hands on her stomach and prayed softly, "Please god, please, do this for me and Rachel." She whispered to herself as she looked up to the ceiling. She didn't hear Kayla come into the room and gently climb onto the bed and next to her step-mother. Santana noticed her and and smiled. "Hey pretty girl. What's going on? Did you have fun with Beth today?"
"Uh-huh," she nodded, watching Santana rub her stomach, "Santi, did you and Mama go to the doctor to make a baby like you said?" She looked worried, nibbling her lower lip in unconscious imitation of her mother, "I don't have to go away, right? I still fit and... and you and Mama are still gonna love me, right?"
Santana sat up and pulled the little girl into her body and snuggled her. "We did and we're not sure it's gonna work... but it might then i'm gonna need you right here," she kissed her head and smiled, "I'm gonna need you because you are amazing and I love you so much. I'm gonna need my friend to help me see my toes when I get really fat, and I'm gonna need my amazing daughter which you are, no matter what biology says, to help her little sister or bother grow up. I think you are the best big sister ever. I will always love you more than anything in the world. Your mom and I? We love you, we love Cale, we love Alex and we will love the littlest baby. We love you all because you are part of our hearts." She smiled and cuddled the little girl as she spoke.
Kayla smiled and whispered a soft okay as she snuggled in against Santana with a little yawn, "Can I stay with you until Mama's done with dinner, Santi?"
"Totally." she leaned down and pulled the blanket over then. She wrapped it around them and she rested her head against Kayla's. "We can take a nap." She yawned, looking down and smiling when she saw that Kayla was already asleep. She watched her for a few moments before falling into slumber a few moments later.
Chapter Six