Standing on a Precipice - Chapter Twenty-Four
Title: Standing on a Precipice
Author: Sio & Maura!
Rating: Up to NC-17 for later chapters
Length: 106,627 / 141,873
Spoilers: Possible mentions of up to Season 2 finale
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Rachel/Jesse, Santana/OC
Summary: From a prompt given via Sio's tumblr ask box. Rachel and Jesse are married with children, but Jesse is slowly dying from cancer. Enter Santana, lonely and divorced but highly successful and willing to befriend the beleaguered mother. When Jesse passes and Rachel starts depending more and more on Santana's friendship, will they stay just friends or can it blossom into something more? Future!Fic.
Warnings (highlight to read): Pregnancy, character death, angst, children, non-con and drugging and talks there of in later chapters
A/N: Missed the Friday update again. It's been getting weirdly busy on Fridays. Hopefully no more misses though!
Chapter 24
"Santa!" Cale giggled loudly as he was tackled to the ground in the tiny patch of backyard behind the townhouse. Santana had come running into the backyard when she got home and changed. She heard the kids playing outside, so she had quickly slipped outside and caught the boy off guard with her attack.
"I got you!" She exclaimed as she ticked him and he tried to wrestle her back to the ground. Santana had tried to spend more time at home since the weekend when Rachel and she had begun their tentative exploration of their feelings. She still worked late nights and often missed dinner, but weekends, weekends were family time. Santana had to go to work for awhile sometimes but she always was home in the evening and on Sundays. This weekend in particular was about her family. Her father was in town for a conference and had been more than excited to come and spend time with his only daughter and her... friend.
Rachel came out the back door of the house drying her hands on a dishtowel. "Hey, you two," she called, grinning, "Not too rough! Don't you dare let him get too dirty before your father arrives, Santana! Kayla, do you want to come help me with your baby brother while I finish with dinner?"
"Yes, Mama," the little girl called, dropping the dolls she'd been playing with to hurry in, dodging under her mother's arm as the woman held the door open.
"And your father will be arriving in another twenty to thirty minutes, sweetheart," Rachel added, "please try to keep him nice looking. I would like to make a good impression with your father after all."
"Yes, Ma'am." Santana laughed as Cale sat on her stomach telling about the crazy things that went on during his day. She held onto his hands and listened to him babble on about the friends he made on the street. "That's amazing, Cale. I'm sure we can have Julio and his dad over for dinner and you boys can play. I'll talk to Mama about it okay? I'm sure she wont have a problem." She smiled and pushed back Cale's hair. "Your hair is getting long, baby." She twirled the long curly hair around her finger and smiled, "I like it. I think we should keep it long, what do you think?"
"Mama says I shaggy, Santa," he crowed, clapping his hands and bouncing up and down on her stomach with a happy grin.
"Your daddy was shaggy too," she smiled, watching him. "She likes it." Santana pushed his hair back with her fingers and smiled at his face. "You, my boy, are adorable." she loved how he squished his face up when she called him that. "So... you're gonna meet my daddy soon."
His eyes went wide and he leaned forward to squish her cheeks, "Meet Santa Daddy?" his eyes where very big and his face serious as he kept squishing her face, "You daddy ‘live? Not like Daddy?"
Santana nodded, "My daddy is alive." She sighed, kissing his hands. "I don't have a mommy, though. You get to meet my daddy. He knows your grandpas and grandma Shelby." She smiled knowing that her father was excited to meet the children and see Rachel again.
"He ‘live!" Cale clapped, bouncing happily, "Santa Daddy ‘live! But," he frowned, "No mama? I sorry, Santa. Can share Mama?"
Santana blinked away the tears that formed in her eyes, "How ‘bout I share my daddy and you share your mommy?" She smiled and pressed their foreheads together.
"Okies," he burbled, dropping flat to hug her neck, "like sharing, Santa. Love you." He planted a kiss on her cheek, "lots and lots."
Santana hugged him and laid on the grass with him. On the other side of the townhouse, a knock came on the door. Gabriel Lopez rapped his knuckles against his daughter's door, he hadn't seen her in person in a few years but he talked to her once a week and sent emails daily. He wore a black polo and jeans and otherwise looked like an older, male version of Santana. Tall and lean, his skin darker from prolonged exposure to sun in the south. In his left hand he held two large gift bags with gifts for the family. He knocked again and waited for the door to open.
Calling back to Kayla to be careful with Alex, Rachel wiped her hands on the towel over her shoulder as she headed to the door and opened it with a smile. "Mr. Lopez! How nice of you to come! Please, this is Santana's home and you're more than welcome so, please, come in." She stepped aside to let him in, only to hear a crash from the other room. "Kayla!" Eyes wide, the mother started to hurry off, only to pause, "Please excuse me, Mr Lopez, I'll be right back!"
Gabriel chuckled to himself, as he closed the door behind him. He watched Rachel scurry off and followed her, taking in the home as he walked through. He had never been to the townhouse, he had only seen Santana's flat in London when he went to visit her a few years back. He smiled already noticing how much of a home this was, he came into the kitchen and leaned against the door. "Don't worry about me, Rachel. You seem to have your hands quite full." He smiled at the little ones sitting on the kitchen floor looking up with grins. "You must be Kayla and Alexander." He smiled, remembering how Santana had called him almost in tears to explain the origin of the youngest child's name. "I'm Santana's dad. You can call me Gabe if you want." He said to the kids.
Alexander just kind of chuckled and clapped, but Kayla waved, "Hi, Mister Lopez." She pronounced the words slowly, making sure to say them right.
Rachel smiled wryly, on her knees picking up the spilled crayons that were scattered everywhere. "I am so sorry, Mr Lopez. I am usually more composed, I assure you. Dinner will be ready shortly, but Santana is in the backyard with Cale still, I believe."
He smiled at the girl, "It's nice to meet you both." He looked over to Rachel, "Please don't worry. I'm going to go see my daughter and bring her back inside." he walked to the back door and looked over his shoulder at he spoke, "Please call me Gabriel or Gabe, Rachel." He stated before heading outside. He stood for a moment and smiled seeing his daughter laying on her back, her long dark hair splayed out against green grass with a small child perched on her stomach.
"Santana." He called out causing the woman to turn her head and beam. She quickly got up holding Cale's hand as she headed quickly over to her father. "I missed you." He exclaimed as he gathered his youngest child in his arms and held her tightly.
"I missed you too, Papi." She whispered, her arms wrapping around his neck and relishing in the fact she's seeing her father for the first time in years. She kept one of her hand with Cale and when she pulled away she squatted down. "Papi, this is Cale. Caleb, this is my dad."
Cale had one finger tucked in the corner of his mouth and hid slightly behind Santana, holding nervously to her shirt as he looked up at the tall man nervously. "Hi," he whispered shyly, before hiding his face against Santana.
Gabriel chuckled and moved to kneel down with his daughter and the boy. "Hi young man." He smiled, watching the love on his daughters face when he introduced him to the boy. "I'm Gabe, Santana's dad. It's very nice to meet you. She tells me that you're her best little buddy. Is that true? Are you taking care of my baby girl?" He smiled at his daughter when the boy started peaking his head out to steal looks at the older Hispanic man.
Cale nodded shyly, staying close to Santana, his finger not leaving his mouth. "Uh-huh," he whispered, "My Santa." He clung to her, leaning against her like he was afraid if he got even a little bit away from her she'd disappear.
Santana mouthed sorry to her father who just shrugged her off and returned to his conversation with the boy. "Of course. Do you think we can share Santi?"' He asked admiring how much the boy was like Santana when she was his age. Santana just shook her head and scooped up the boy and hugged him close.
"Papi? Did you say hi to Rach?" She asked as they headed back into the house. She picked the grass out of Cale's hair not realizing that she had some in her own. Santana brought Cale over to the sink and washed his hands and face. "How was your flight and conference?" She asked, as she washed up.
"It was good, Mija. And, do you think I just walked in and ignored the woman you live with?" He asked as he motioned to the apartment filled with toys and crafts. "By the way, I like this so much better than your home in London. It's full of love."
Santana narrowed her eyes at her father and rested Cale on her hip. "Papi. Baste. Don't want to talk about him or that okay?" she asked, he nodded quietly. "Do you wanna wash up? The bathroom is right there." She showed her dad where the bathroom. She sighed and followed voices into the living room. "Rae?" She smiled seeing Kayla holding Alex on her lap watching television.
"In here, sweetheart," Rachel called from the kitchen as she pulled the pan of black bean enchiladas out of the oven. As Santana came in after setting Cale with the other two to watch what Rachel called "age appropriate viewing materials" - namely a documentary on Nova about stars and black holes - Rachel smiled up at her and leaned up a bit further once she straightened to give her a quick peck on the lips over the bubbling hot pan in her hands.
"Hello to you too, dear. I almost thought you forgot about me in favor of playing with the children." She chuckled softly as she carefully slid the pan onto the stove top before moving towards the other side of the counter to get the toppings out of the fridge.
Santana came behind Rachel and wrapped her arms around the woman's thin waist. She pressed nipping kisses to the expanse of Rachel's neck as she pulled her around so they were face to face. She smirked and leaned down, kissing her properly. Her lips captured the smaller woman's roughly as she kissed her for a moment, but then she heard the bathroom door open and she quickly pulled away with a blushing smile to her friend.
Rachel almost didn't hear the door, so for a second she looked dazed and confused as to why the kiss had stopped. Then the sound registered and she realized how close she had been behaving towards her friend with a dark blush as she quickly moved to rummage in the fridge for supplies. "Oh yes, I, um, suppose that I should tone down the casual intimacies while your father's here..."
Santana chuckled and grabbed the plates, "It's okay, babe. He knows.... I'm just. I just really needed to do that." she bit her lip and smiled lustfully at the other woman. "I just thought about you a lot today." She was going to continue when she saw Alex toddle in raising his arms up in the air.
"Ma!" He smiled and bounded towards Santana's legs. Gabriel came in after the youngest child and watched for a moment. He watched as the child called his daughter Ma and her react to his term. "Ma. Ma. Ma." Alex exclaimed as he kissed her face when she picked him up. "Yum Yum." He pointed at the food and nodded.
"Totally Alejandro, it's yummy dinner time." She smiled and bounced him on her hip. "Dad, are you hungry? Rachel made her amazing enchiladas for dinner and can I get you a glass of wine or something?"
"It's okay, Santana. I'll just have water." He smiled as his child got him some water. "Rachel, your children are beautiful and very well behaved." he stated watching Alex nuzzling Santana's neck as he looked around the room.
"Thank you, Mr Lope-" she cut off at his chiding expression, ducking her head with a shy blush, "I mean, Gabriel. They are being good right now, which I am completely grateful for, but Santana can tell you that they can be complete terrors when they want to be."
She continued dishing up the enchiladas, adding a little to a small bowl for Alex and smashing it a bit with a fork before handing it to Santana, "Here but remember tiny bites, we're still not quite sure he's ready for this sort of food but we both know he'll demand it." She smiled at Alex and his favorite person to eat with thanks to Santana absconding him at lunch all the time.
"I certainly hope you like black bean enchiladas, Gabriel." Rachel added as she carefully plated small plates for the children and larger ones for the three adults, "They're vegetarian and I'm afraid not very spicy since we have three small stomachs that aren't quite robust enough to properly digest very spicy foods yet. And," she turned and smiled at the man before walking past toward the dining room with an arm load of plates - a skill learned while waitressing in the early days of her and Jesse's marriage, "I have a surprise for dessert."
Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel's awkward plate skills. "I know. I know." She said as she carried the plates baby and his bowl into the dining room and put him into the highchair. "Papi? Do you wanna sit here by me?" He agreed and sat down as Santana went to go grab the drinks for everyone and then ushered the children into their chairs.
"Rachel, it smells wonderful. I'm afraid that I can't even handle too much spice anymore so this is perfect. Hazard of old age." He smiled and watched the two older children slip into their chairs.
"Dad, you're not old." Santana countered, pulling her chair closer to the highchair and putting a bib on Alex.
"You'd have to say that since your ex-husband is only three years younger than me." He replied causing Santana to freeze and look at the ground. Gabriel meant that to sound more joking but knew it didn't come out that way. "Santi... sorry."
"It's okay, Papi." Santana replied quietly as she turned to Cale. "Caleb! Use your fork."
Cale pouted, in the midst of picking up a piece of his enchiladas with his fingers, "But, Santa..."
Rachel frowned and reached over to tap him on the head, "Caleb Ezekiel St James, you had best listen to Santana or there will be no dessert for you."
He frowned at his plate for a moment before awkwardly picking up the fork that he still hadn't quite mastered the proper grip on and poked at his food. "Yes, Mama. I be good, Santa." He scooped up an awkward sized bite and pushed it - mostly - into his mouth.
"So, Gabriel," Rachel smiled up the table at him after they'd had a little time to start eating, "how have you been? It has been quite a while since we've been able to catch up after all."
"I'm well. Santi must have mentioned that I moved down south with her hermano. Marco's wife is having a baby, Santi, a little girl." He remarked as he took a bite of his food, "Que rico, Rachel!" he stated chewing more before talking, "It's been good. Work is good, I'm happy I get to see my daughter after such a long time. How are you doing? You look wonderful and all grown up!"
Santana shook her head at her fathers antics, and kept one eye on the little boy who was more shoving food into his face than eating it. She leaded over and wiped the excess off Alex's cheeks and when it looked like he was just playing she went and got him a bowl of baby cereal and his cup of milk.
"I am," she smiled at Santana as she went to retrieve the food Alex was more familiar with, "good, Gabriel. Things have been difficult over the last few years, but having your daughter's friendship again has been invaluable. If it hadn't been for her, I have no idea what would have happened to this little family." She reached over and stroked Kayla's hair as she spoke.
"You saved her too," Gabriel stated, not looking at the blush that moved over his daughter's face. "I'm happy she could be there for you all when you needed someone. I know how hard losing your partner is and I wish that I let myself be open to the idea of someone when I lost Marci." He smiled sadly. Santana patted her father's hand as she went back to eating, and making faces at Kayla and Cale from across the table making them stifle giggles as the other two adults spoke.
"Santana, stop that," Rachel chided but smiling warmly at her as she did to take the sting away, "You'll make them choke." She looked back to Gabriel with a slightly shy smile, "We haven't quite gone very far in that direction, Gabriel, but Santana was there through the end and kept me from completely falling apart. Allowing myself to be open to the idea of exploring what is happening with us is... Admittedly quite difficult, but it feels right. I can't even imagine someone else around the children but her now."
Santana looked over and winked at the woman, before turning back to the baby to make sure he was eating. "Well. I know she's giving herself 100% to all of you." Gabriel smiled, which received a elbow in the side and a quick mutter of Spanish from his daughter. "Santana doesn't want me to talk about it anymore," he looked at Rachel with a smile. "Anyway, I think you're doing very well given circumstances and I love the fact you're able to get my thick headed, workaholic daughter out of the office and see that there are many things in life other than working."
Rachel laughed, throwing her head back with amusement. "Oh, oh, I'm sorry," she wiped at the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes from laughing, "Did she, perhaps, tell you that she convinced me to become her assistant? I manage her schedule, Gabriel, making it fairly easy to ensure she's home fairly often. But you would not believe how often we've sat up late into the night working on the details of convincing a new artist to sign with Santana. She is truly amazing at what she does."
Santana didn't enjoy getting talked about and pouted as Rachel and her father kept going on about her. "Rae...." She whined pouting at her, "Can we not talk about me?"
"Nope." Gabriel smiled and continued eating, "Well I'm happy someone has her best interests in mind, Rachel. Someone needs to keep her in check, I'm glad you're keeping everything going and I hope she's allowing you to stay home with the baby?" He asked.
"Allowing is not quite the proper term, insisting is far closer. Though," Rachel glanced over at her best friend with a mischievous smirk, "she doesn't seem to mind when I bring him by the office for lunch or watching him while I handle meetings with finances or marketing. And the absolute best part about the arrangement is that it completely vexes that vile man, Tobias." She looked entirely proud of himself at being able to upset Santana's boss as often as she did.
"Yes. That is a front you both excel on. Tobias isn't that bad..." Santana stated, her role as a defender of her ex-husband's stance to her father still intact.
"Yes, he is." Gabriel stated quickly, "No man should be like that with any woman, Santana. You know that. You know how he was to you." He scolded her, "I'm still upset you lost yourself with him."
Santana just crossed her arms and took a drink of her water, "Rae. Can we please have desert now? I would like to stop this conversation and move on from the subject." She sighed, "Plus the kids need to get to bed at some point."
Rachel stood and walked around to collect the plates, bending down to kiss Santana's cheek as she gathered her plate, "I'm sorry, Santana. I'll avoid the topic in the future. To make up for it I made a special dessert I think you'll like." After gathering up the plates, she left the room to serve up the - still warm - peach pie she'd made earlier with the fresh vanilla and cinnamon ice cream from the local coop store.
Santana practically drooled when Rachel brought out the pie. "Mmm... Pie." She exclaimed, her tone taking on an awkwardly pleasured tone. "Pie..."
"Peach pie," Rachel responded with a chuckle, setting a serving down in front of each person, "I made it fresh today while you were at work and the ice cream is from the coop's dairy, vanilla and cinnamon. I gave you a little extra to share with Alex, Santana, but careful, it's still warm." Smiling at Santana's father as she set his serving in front of him, "I do hope you like peach pie, Gabriel."
The older man laughed at his daughter, "I'm disturbed by my only daughter right now." He chucked, "I think hearing that was more scarring than walking in on you and that boy with the odd hair." he shook his head and smiled at the other woman. "I love it Rachel. I love all pies, not as much as my daughter..." he winked as he take some. Santana wasn't even listening she was happily munching on pie, kind of ignoring the baby that was reaching tanned little arms out to her.
"MA!" He exclaimed, "Pie!" He reached his little fingers out for the pie, his mouth open pathetically. "Ma!"
Santana looked up and looked at him with a blush. "Sorry, Mijo." She whispered, getting a bit on her spoon and blowing it before popping it into his mouth.
"Santana!" Rachel scolded with an indulgent smirk, "Honestly. There is more you know. There is no reason to ignore your son to the point that he begins misbehaving." She took her seat, cutting into her pie with the side of her fork having momentarily forgotten that the senior Lopez was likely not at all familiar with how they handled things in their unusual little blended family.
The woman grumbled, "He's mine when he misbehaves." she pouted and gave him more pie and he hummed happily.
"Don't pout, Santana." Gabriel exclaimed, "Son, huh?" He looked at Rachel and cocked his head to the side when he heard the wording of the mother's sentence.
"No, he's yours when he acts like you," Rachel clarified, taking a small bite and eating it before she continued, "and when he truly misbehaves in that terribly mischievous manner, why then he's Jesse's son. And, naturally, when he's an angel like now," she waved at him causing him to clap and laugh, "he's mine. It is simply how it works, Santana."
When Gabriel's question finally sank in though, she almost froze, fork midway to her mouth with another piece of pie on the tip. Her eyes slowly rose to meet Gabriel's as a blush colored her cheeks, "I, that is, I mean, well," she stammered, "it... It seemed natural, I, I mean, he calls her Ma and she's been in his life since the moment he was born..." She looked to Santana for help.
"Yeah. Dad... we didn't wanna discourage him." she shrugged, looking at Rachel. "Don't worry okay?" she smiled and began eating again. She didn't want to get too much into the logistics of it, that she looked at the baby as her own.
"Okay." He nodded, looking at the watch. "Rachel, thank you so much for the lovely dinner. But I need to head off, my flight is in a few hours and I need to get to JFK." Gabriel said regretfully as he wiped his face. Santana got up to help the children bring the dessert plates to the kitchen as he approached Rachel. "Thank you, for taking care of my baby." he said once the children and Santana had left the room.
She smiled holding out her hand to shake, not wanting to overstep anything by offering a hug. "I believe she takes care of me rather more than I do her," she suggested with a shrug and a shy smile, "I truly have no idea what I'd do without her, sir. She has become a rather intrinsic piece of the puzzle that makes up my family."
He pulled the young woman into a hug. "Call me if you need anything, Mija." He smiled kissing her cheek. "She cares a lot about you... that scares her so be careful with her." He said before leaving to be escorted out of the house by his daughter.
Close to fifteen minutes later, Santana came back in, wiping tears from her eyes as she closed the door behind her. She smiled sadly at Rachel when she walked over and took the tea from her hands and took a sip. "I missed him." She said as she slid behind her and carefully placed her hands on the other woman's hips when she handed the tea back.
Rachel leaned back against her friend with a soft smile. "I could see that," she murmured, "I did too. He was very accepting of the children and their relationship with you, something I was very grateful for. So," she turned in Santana's arms and leaned up to give her a quick kiss before pulling back with a sly smirk, "should I fix you an extra serving of pie?"
"Mmm pie." she moaned softly, moving to nuzzle Rachel's neck. "I like you better than pie." she kissed the crook of the woman's neck softly and pulled her closer to her. She let her arms wind around Rachel's waist and smiled she she felt shivers rake through Rachel's body.
Rachel reached over and set her tea on the counter before wrapping her arms around Santana's neck. "Do you now, sweetheart? Better than pie?"
Santana continued to kiss the soft expanse of the woman's neck. "Can I have pie... on you?" she smirked moving up to gently suck on Rachel's earlobe. "‘Cuz' I think I would enjoy that."
Rachel shivered, but put a hand on Santana's chest, "Perhaps someday, Santana, but not yet." The words were soft and perhaps tinged with regret, but her eyes were warm under the serious expression. She knew she wasn't ready to take their relationship that far yet, even if her body clamored to just go with it.
The other woman nodded, pulling her lips away from the earlobe she had been paying attention too, "Sorry." she whispered, putting her head onto Rachel's forehead. "I got carried away in my head." She smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Rachel's lips and rested her hands onto the woman's waist as she did so.
"Mm, you did a bit, but I would be lying if I were to say I didn't like it," Rachel smiled, letting her fingers tease lightly over the back of Santana's neck, "And some day I hope to be ready for more and comfortable enough with you to allow these teasing gestures to continue." She carefully kissed from the corner of the other woman's lips down to her jaw to tease along her neck with gentle kisses.
Santana smiled and whimpered softly, "I'm not teasing. I just want you to be okay." She smiled, her fingers teasing up against Rachel's stomach. "One day." She exhaled as she tilted her head for Rachel to have better access.
"Definitely one day," Rachel agreed with a soft whisper, easing Santana back against the sink, continuing to pepper her neck with gentle kisses, "But not yet." She pulled away with a soft sigh, letting a hand gently stroke over her friend's neck to lightly press against her collarbone as she smiled softly up at the other woman.
"Tease." Santana whispered, her body shivering with the touch. She smiled and kissed her again softly, "We should put the babies in bed." She murmured, pulling herself away so she could find her self control. She bit her lip and blushed at the thoughts that ran through her head as she looked at the slight mark that was on Rachel's neck.
"Mmm, I believe we should. It's been a long day and...what are you looking at?" Her eyes widened as it dawned on her and she clapped a hand to her neck, hiding the spot, "Santana Lopez, did you mark me?" She laughed as she asked, giving Santana's shoulder a light shove, "I don't believe you! What am I going to tell the children?"
Santana raised her eyebrow, "The 6, 3 and one year old's are gonna ask about a teeny tiny mark?" She smiled, "If they by chance do ask? You got a bug bite." Santana laughed slightly as she left the kitchen and swooped down to press a kiss to Kayla's head.
"Bedtime, K." She said, her hands outstretched for the girl to take.
The little girl was so sleepy she barely hesitated before reaching for Santana and letting her pick her up. She was getting big but thanks to Rachel's tiny genetics, it was still possible to pick her up and carry her to bed. Alex was already asleep, flopped over on the sofa by his brother who was mostly asleep, leaning against the arm of the sofa.
"You too, little men, it's been a long day and it's time for bed," Rachel murmured as she picked Cale up. Deciding not to fight with the children about bathtime for once, she just carried him into the room he still shared with Kayla and set about changing his clothes for bed and getting him tucked in before returning for the youngest of the three.
Santana helped the little girl change into a night gown and she tucked her into bed. "Goodnight, star." She smiled, stealing Rachel's nickname for the girl. "I love you and sleep well." She kissed the girl's head and tucked her in before sliding down the bunk bed stairs and kissing the little mop headed boy. "I love you too, Cale. Sleep well buddy." She kissed him and headed into Rachel's room to do the same to the baby. She ran her fingers through Alex's hair and sang softly to him as he curled into himself and sucked on his thumb. "Night, Alejandro. Te amo." She kissed his head and slipped out of the room and went to lay on her bed with her door open.
The children tucked away, Rachel quickly showered and changed into her pajamas before heading down the hall to tap lightly on the door to Santana's room. "Santana?" she called softly, "would you... Would you mind terribly if I were to join you tonight?"
Santana looked up and nodded, "Sure. You know you don't have to ask." she sat up and stretched her back. "I'm gonna change quick and whatever."She got up and grabbed her pajamas, she pulled off her t-shirt and popped open the clasp of her bra leaving her back to Rachel as she did so. "The kids did well with my dad." She spoke as she changed.
"Or perhaps your father did well with the children?" Rachel suggested as she came in to sit on the bed, watching Santana move about the room. "But I was quite proud of then tonight. Cale wasn't too awkward when he was introduced was he? I know he's still quite shy."
"He was shy, he may have claimed me as his to my father... but other than that..." She smiled over her shoulder as she grabbed a long t-shirt and slipped it over her head before slipping off her panties and putting on a fresh pair of boy shorts before pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. "My dad just asked to share and Cale was okay with that." She moved over and crawled into the bed.
Rachel chuckled, sliding under the covers and moving to snuggle close to her best friend, "That does sound like our boy." She pressed a soft kiss to Santana's jaw, "Also, have I mentioned lately that you are exceedingly beautiful?" She let her head rest on Santana's shoulder as she spoke.
"He's crazy and I love him for it." She smiled, snuggling in after she turned off the lights. "Yes and I refute it every time." She kissed her softly, letting out a soft sigh when she pulled away. "Hey babe?" Santana whispered through the dark, "I know were not labeling this...whatever it is... but, someone asked me out the other day and I told them no, but I wanted to say I had a girlfriend... are... you that?" She was more comfortable having this conversation in the dark then she would have been in the day.
Rachel was quiet for a bit, thinking about it. "Do... you want me to be?" She almost held her breath her heart was pounding so hard in her chest at what they were discussing, "Because... I don't want to see, don't want to be with anyone else. I simply cannot imagine anyone else but you here like this with me..." The words were whispered and seemed calm, but she was anxious. She wanted to know what they were, wanted to define their relationship in some way, make it more real, but she wasn't entirely certain what the protocols were for that.
"Okay." Santana said simply and pulled Rachel closer. "I wanna be girlfriends." She stated and rolled Rachel onto her side so she could spoon her. "I don't wanna be with anyone else. I love our life and the kids and it would kill me to be apart from you." She said honestly. "I just want to make sure you're okay with this... I know it's only been over a year and I want to make sure you're okay with everything."
Rachel sighed softly. "I still miss him, Santana. I loved him and I'd promised him the rest of my life, so I likely will always miss him. But I care about you. I've come to depend on you. It would devastate me if you were to ever leave. I love how you are with the children, how you hold me when I'm upset...kissing you. So," she twisted her head to gently kiss her, "I would be honored to be your girlfriend, Santana Lopez."
Santana smiled and kissed Rachel slowly. She knew she cared about the other woman and her children. She also knew that she was in dangerous territory because she was the one who would always come after Jesse. She didn't think she was a rebound or anything but she also knew that she'd never have the same kind of relationship with Rachel that her deceased husband had had with her. But she also didn't know if she'd even wanted that sort of relationship. So she just snuggled in closer with Rachel and held her. "I promise not to leave."
"Thank you," Rachel breathed softly, already drifting off in her girlfriend's embrace. Santana smiled and kissed her one more time before pulling the covers over them tightly and drifting off to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five