Friends and the years in AHS
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Thinking about it... All the so-called friendships I had in my life so far never survived for more than 5 years, let alone "close friends" or "best friends".. Yes.. from elementary to middle school.. I lost contacts and quickly forgot about the friends i made in elementary.. in middle school.. when i was transferred to another class.. the same thing happened.. even though we were in the same school.. when I moved to the US.. i tried to keep in touch with a "close friend" i made during the last year in vietnam.. it didn't last long.. after more or less than one year.. we lost contacts..
In Alhambra High School.. the first 2 years.. i was in ESL.. I made friends.. yes.. but as soon as i was transferred to regular classes in junior year.. i started to lose them.. before junior year started, i went back to vietnam and met one of my old friends and i thought there was something special between us. I promised i'd keep in touch. I even cried when i left vietnam for US.. but guess what.. after one week, we stopped emailing each other and i completely forgot about that person, who gave me a ring as a reminder..
junior year was tough.. but i started to speak english all the time, whereas in my sophomore year, when i could barely complete a sentence in english.. i even got discouraged to talk to teachers.. anyways... because of the english barrier.. i made a few friends.. starting from Kristy Lam.. then Christian Mendoza and Hilda Deng.. Eric Donohue (dang.. u all were in that Chemistry class).. Rebecca Yu came along in second semester..
Everything started to change as I accepted Hilda's invitation to Red Cross's Shakey's Night.. I was really shy back then.. I just sat next to Christian and Hilda and kept staring at Hilda trying to eat her chicken.. I ended up helping her finish the dish.. haha.. believe it or not, it was my FIRST time going out to somewhere with friends..
After spring break, I started to move to Hilda's lunch group for a few days. It marked the time when my last "bond" with any previous ESL friends was cut. At first, at the table, I was so freaking shy. I remember Eric saying hi to me and I just murmured a "hi" and then looked down, eating my own lunch. Gradually, I started to look up and listen to people's conversation.. hehe.. i noticed hilda was the one who talked the most and never finished her lunch..
I started to speak up, with Eric first. I started looking around. I heard something about Rebecca with some Matthew.. heh.. so when he came to the table, i was like.. oh. that's matthew.. anyway.. one day people were trading AIM screen names.. and i saw matthew's and i wrote it down.. speaking of AIM.. yeah. .The Last Miracle was my second screen name.. for a time, all my friends were "online" friends.. gradually, the buddy list was replaced with real friends.. anyway..
Hilda IMed me first and played around with me.. heh.. dated: March 25, 2002
MissKrazie: HI, THIS IS SOMEBODY YOU KNOW. CAN YOU GUESS WHO I AM?
The Last Miracle: well
The Last Miracle: i know a lot of miss krazies
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: HELLO IS ANYBODY THERE?
The Last Miracle: i'm hither
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: SO JUST GUESS
MissKrazie: i'M SOMEONE YOU KNOW RECENTLY
The Last Miracle: "recently"?
The Last Miracle: lemmesee
The Last Miracle: you are a "miss"?
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: What do you think?
The Last Miracle: are u in AHS?
MissKrazie: Of course I'm in AHs.
Why else would I do this?
The Last Miracle: grace?
MissKrazie: Nope
The Last Miracle: yeah, she's not crazy
The Last Miracle: well
The Last Miracle: um
The Last Miracle: i don't know anybody recently....
The Last Miracle: except in badminton
The Last Miracle: hey?
MissKrazie: Oh, fine then I'll give you another clue.
The Last Miracle: like wat period
The Last Miracle: i know what's your personality is
The Last Miracle: what ur personality is
MissKrazie: I'm In two of your classes.
The Last Miracle: but i have no idea who you are
The Last Miracle: kristy
hehe.. remember this? some one?
The Last Miracle: what does a miracle do?
tarey2k: well.....
tarey2k: it can help ppl
tarey2k: give ppl hope
I knew Henry Marr from PE class and math class.. but i didn't really talk to him.. linda kim was mean to me -_-.. she was like "do you know this guy?" when i was talking to henry.. and henry just said "no".. see how hopeless i was..
anyways.. see.. i started to talk to people really late.. as the end of school drew near, i got bolder and started joining the conversations.. the jokes i made and participated in.. mostly about eric's lunchbag and his banana sticking out of the bag.. still.. i barely knew anyone.. even though they were sitting at the same table.. that means i didn't know either kitty or zina or even matthew. the school year ended with a lunch at Charlie Trio's..i also started to go out and see movies.. but i always ended up with Christian and hilda..
On the last day, i also came to Dana and Shelley's house for the first time with Christian and Hilda.. I was bringing a stack of pictures and i remember vividly how dana asked me to look at the pictures. heh.. and they were babysitting something.. i mean.. someone.
summer came. my time spent online increased.. I joined chatrooms.. and starting to talk to Zina, Kitty, and many others. Funny.. among those dozen screen names in the chatrooms.. i kept Larson's and Sandor's on my buddy list.. Elaine Zhong was added later.. the funny thing is.. in senior year, i got to know all of them.. i remember how i kept on being confused between larson and sandor. hehe
for the whole summer, i built my friendships with Zina and kitty and a few others. zina, do you still remember? hehe.. we talked and talked online for so much and never saw each other for real.. remember how i knew you were the giraffe and long-neck girl? ohhh .. i remember now.. someone told you that i said you were the long-neck girl then you IMed me and asked.. hehe. =) yeah.. funny .. the first time we saw each other for real was the end of summer when we came back to school to get stuff for senior year. i still remember kitty seeing me and was like "oh, it's andrew".. and walked away.. heh. (to the mall)
that summer was about volunteering at the library and going to drawing and painting class..
senior year started. i told myself.. i could start talking to anyone with my new found confidence.. or i could just sit there at a corner and stay silent. I'm not gonna write much about my senior year.. if you want to find out.. just read my whole journal.. but yes.. i started to make friends rapidly.. things changed too fast for me to handle.. people came and left.. friends and enemies..
_____________________________________
What's the point of writing this entry? Obviously, it's not a product of boredom. What I want to say here is whatever I stated earlier in the first sentence of this entry. I've gone through so many changes that I'm not afraid of them anymore. In fact, I became apathetic to any change that occurred in my life. The changes... which were not neccessarily about friends.. changes..
I'm not even looking forward for long-lasting friendships anymore, since that never happened before in my life, why would it happen now? Friends... come and leave.. but no matter what, they always leave footprints in my heart. The lessons I learned shall never be forgotten.. The lessons of not to trust people too easily.. not to care for people so much.. not to expect so highly... everyone came with a lesson. Yes, I have been running all my life. I've run from the lowest group to the highest class. I've been in so many different groups that I don't even bother trying to fit in anymore.
I've experienced gains and losses. So many so-called precious moments have passed.. so many memories have been forgotten.. I don't bother remember anymore. I used to recall things so well.
Pretty soon, I can tell right now, I know I'll be replacing at least 2/3 of my current buddy list with new screen names. People will be too busy with their new friends and work to keep in touch.. too busy to write emails.. too busy to comment in livejournal..
In fact, it has already been started... I can tell.
____________________________________
"I am human, too. I am just like you. I have feelings and my own sadness. I'm not an angel, especially not your guardian angel. I can't always be there for you. I can't always be available to talk with you. I can't always care for you. I am human, too. I am just like you."
____________________________________
There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
Thinking about it... All the so-called friendships I had in my life so far never survived for more than 5 years, let alone "close friends" or "best friends".. Yes.. from elementary to middle school.. I lost contacts and quickly forgot about the friends i made in elementary.. in middle school.. when i was transferred to another class.. the same thing happened.. even though we were in the same school.. when I moved to the US.. i tried to keep in touch with a "close friend" i made during the last year in vietnam.. it didn't last long.. after more or less than one year.. we lost contacts..
In Alhambra High School.. the first 2 years.. i was in ESL.. I made friends.. yes.. but as soon as i was transferred to regular classes in junior year.. i started to lose them.. before junior year started, i went back to vietnam and met one of my old friends and i thought there was something special between us. I promised i'd keep in touch. I even cried when i left vietnam for US.. but guess what.. after one week, we stopped emailing each other and i completely forgot about that person, who gave me a ring as a reminder..
junior year was tough.. but i started to speak english all the time, whereas in my sophomore year, when i could barely complete a sentence in english.. i even got discouraged to talk to teachers.. anyways... because of the english barrier.. i made a few friends.. starting from Kristy Lam.. then Christian Mendoza and Hilda Deng.. Eric Donohue (dang.. u all were in that Chemistry class).. Rebecca Yu came along in second semester..
Everything started to change as I accepted Hilda's invitation to Red Cross's Shakey's Night.. I was really shy back then.. I just sat next to Christian and Hilda and kept staring at Hilda trying to eat her chicken.. I ended up helping her finish the dish.. haha.. believe it or not, it was my FIRST time going out to somewhere with friends..
After spring break, I started to move to Hilda's lunch group for a few days. It marked the time when my last "bond" with any previous ESL friends was cut. At first, at the table, I was so freaking shy. I remember Eric saying hi to me and I just murmured a "hi" and then looked down, eating my own lunch. Gradually, I started to look up and listen to people's conversation.. hehe.. i noticed hilda was the one who talked the most and never finished her lunch..
I started to speak up, with Eric first. I started looking around. I heard something about Rebecca with some Matthew.. heh.. so when he came to the table, i was like.. oh. that's matthew.. anyway.. one day people were trading AIM screen names.. and i saw matthew's and i wrote it down.. speaking of AIM.. yeah. .The Last Miracle was my second screen name.. for a time, all my friends were "online" friends.. gradually, the buddy list was replaced with real friends.. anyway..
Hilda IMed me first and played around with me.. heh.. dated: March 25, 2002
MissKrazie: HI, THIS IS SOMEBODY YOU KNOW. CAN YOU GUESS WHO I AM?
The Last Miracle: well
The Last Miracle: i know a lot of miss krazies
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: HELLO IS ANYBODY THERE?
The Last Miracle: i'm hither
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: SO JUST GUESS
MissKrazie: i'M SOMEONE YOU KNOW RECENTLY
The Last Miracle: "recently"?
The Last Miracle: lemmesee
The Last Miracle: you are a "miss"?
The Last Miracle: lol
MissKrazie: What do you think?
The Last Miracle: are u in AHS?
MissKrazie: Of course I'm in AHs.
Why else would I do this?
The Last Miracle: grace?
MissKrazie: Nope
The Last Miracle: yeah, she's not crazy
The Last Miracle: well
The Last Miracle: um
The Last Miracle: i don't know anybody recently....
The Last Miracle: except in badminton
The Last Miracle: hey?
MissKrazie: Oh, fine then I'll give you another clue.
The Last Miracle: like wat period
The Last Miracle: i know what's your personality is
The Last Miracle: what ur personality is
MissKrazie: I'm In two of your classes.
The Last Miracle: but i have no idea who you are
The Last Miracle: kristy
hehe.. remember this? some one?
The Last Miracle: what does a miracle do?
tarey2k: well.....
tarey2k: it can help ppl
tarey2k: give ppl hope
I knew Henry Marr from PE class and math class.. but i didn't really talk to him.. linda kim was mean to me -_-.. she was like "do you know this guy?" when i was talking to henry.. and henry just said "no".. see how hopeless i was..
anyways.. see.. i started to talk to people really late.. as the end of school drew near, i got bolder and started joining the conversations.. the jokes i made and participated in.. mostly about eric's lunchbag and his banana sticking out of the bag.. still.. i barely knew anyone.. even though they were sitting at the same table.. that means i didn't know either kitty or zina or even matthew. the school year ended with a lunch at Charlie Trio's..i also started to go out and see movies.. but i always ended up with Christian and hilda..
On the last day, i also came to Dana and Shelley's house for the first time with Christian and Hilda.. I was bringing a stack of pictures and i remember vividly how dana asked me to look at the pictures. heh.. and they were babysitting something.. i mean.. someone.
summer came. my time spent online increased.. I joined chatrooms.. and starting to talk to Zina, Kitty, and many others. Funny.. among those dozen screen names in the chatrooms.. i kept Larson's and Sandor's on my buddy list.. Elaine Zhong was added later.. the funny thing is.. in senior year, i got to know all of them.. i remember how i kept on being confused between larson and sandor. hehe
for the whole summer, i built my friendships with Zina and kitty and a few others. zina, do you still remember? hehe.. we talked and talked online for so much and never saw each other for real.. remember how i knew you were the giraffe and long-neck girl? ohhh .. i remember now.. someone told you that i said you were the long-neck girl then you IMed me and asked.. hehe. =) yeah.. funny .. the first time we saw each other for real was the end of summer when we came back to school to get stuff for senior year. i still remember kitty seeing me and was like "oh, it's andrew".. and walked away.. heh. (to the mall)
that summer was about volunteering at the library and going to drawing and painting class..
senior year started. i told myself.. i could start talking to anyone with my new found confidence.. or i could just sit there at a corner and stay silent. I'm not gonna write much about my senior year.. if you want to find out.. just read my whole journal.. but yes.. i started to make friends rapidly.. things changed too fast for me to handle.. people came and left.. friends and enemies..
_____________________________________
What's the point of writing this entry? Obviously, it's not a product of boredom. What I want to say here is whatever I stated earlier in the first sentence of this entry. I've gone through so many changes that I'm not afraid of them anymore. In fact, I became apathetic to any change that occurred in my life. The changes... which were not neccessarily about friends.. changes..
I'm not even looking forward for long-lasting friendships anymore, since that never happened before in my life, why would it happen now? Friends... come and leave.. but no matter what, they always leave footprints in my heart. The lessons I learned shall never be forgotten.. The lessons of not to trust people too easily.. not to care for people so much.. not to expect so highly... everyone came with a lesson. Yes, I have been running all my life. I've run from the lowest group to the highest class. I've been in so many different groups that I don't even bother trying to fit in anymore.
I've experienced gains and losses. So many so-called precious moments have passed.. so many memories have been forgotten.. I don't bother remember anymore. I used to recall things so well.
Pretty soon, I can tell right now, I know I'll be replacing at least 2/3 of my current buddy list with new screen names. People will be too busy with their new friends and work to keep in touch.. too busy to write emails.. too busy to comment in livejournal..
In fact, it has already been started... I can tell.
____________________________________
"I am human, too. I am just like you. I have feelings and my own sadness. I'm not an angel, especially not your guardian angel. I can't always be there for you. I can't always be available to talk with you. I can't always care for you. I am human, too. I am just like you."
____________________________________
There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all