(no subject)
I used to think subway performers were one of the coolest things about New York but now that I actually live here I don't know how I make it through the day without scraping my eardrums out with a plastic spoon.
What the hell.
I know standards are probably slipping what with everyone desperate to make a buck but I beseech all of you, on behalf of your captive audience, please review the criteria for a performance before you leave the house.
1) You must have some sort of marketable skill -- play a song, do a dance, or possibly compose an act of pure unrivalled spectacle like Dr. Endtimes here. (At least I have the option of walking away from him.) But if you want money you'd damn well better be entertaining and that goes double for anyone you've trapped in a confined space with your theoretical act.
2) A performance is given, not foisted. Just because you're in the same subway car with someone doesn't mean you are entitled to payment if you halfass some music or just happen to say something that rhymes. Good god. I know I've expounded upon this many a time but this remains the single rudest, most disrespectful thing anyone can do to their audience and it grates.
3) If you do not meet the above criteria, STAY HOME. Anything else is not a performance, it's glorified panhandling, and the rest of us would appreciate it if you'd shut the hell up and just ask for money like the rest of the people on the subway. Don't try to pretend like you're actually aiming to entertain anyone.
I mean you, lady with the tape deck and the tip jar. It's one thing if you're going to try and bust out some karaoke because you've got the voice of an angel or you've got an instrument to play. There's already Another Damn Andes Band in every other subway station doing the same thing with a panflute and a CD of pop standards with the melodies surgically removed. But it's completely unjustifiable to turn on some music and SING ALONG with a song SOMEONE ELSE IS ALREADY SINGING and demand tribute. Seriously? That's a pastime, not a performance. I did that when I was a teenager, behind a closed door so no one would have to hear me. And spouting off some BS about Jesus every time some sucker gives you anything won't help your case. You. Are. Doing. It. WRONG.
Here, have another video of Dr. Endtimes. This must really be seen to be believed.
What the hell.
I know standards are probably slipping what with everyone desperate to make a buck but I beseech all of you, on behalf of your captive audience, please review the criteria for a performance before you leave the house.
1) You must have some sort of marketable skill -- play a song, do a dance, or possibly compose an act of pure unrivalled spectacle like Dr. Endtimes here. (At least I have the option of walking away from him.) But if you want money you'd damn well better be entertaining and that goes double for anyone you've trapped in a confined space with your theoretical act.
2) A performance is given, not foisted. Just because you're in the same subway car with someone doesn't mean you are entitled to payment if you halfass some music or just happen to say something that rhymes. Good god. I know I've expounded upon this many a time but this remains the single rudest, most disrespectful thing anyone can do to their audience and it grates.
3) If you do not meet the above criteria, STAY HOME. Anything else is not a performance, it's glorified panhandling, and the rest of us would appreciate it if you'd shut the hell up and just ask for money like the rest of the people on the subway. Don't try to pretend like you're actually aiming to entertain anyone.
I mean you, lady with the tape deck and the tip jar. It's one thing if you're going to try and bust out some karaoke because you've got the voice of an angel or you've got an instrument to play. There's already Another Damn Andes Band in every other subway station doing the same thing with a panflute and a CD of pop standards with the melodies surgically removed. But it's completely unjustifiable to turn on some music and SING ALONG with a song SOMEONE ELSE IS ALREADY SINGING and demand tribute. Seriously? That's a pastime, not a performance. I did that when I was a teenager, behind a closed door so no one would have to hear me. And spouting off some BS about Jesus every time some sucker gives you anything won't help your case. You. Are. Doing. It. WRONG.
Here, have another video of Dr. Endtimes. This must really be seen to be believed.