Need to vent - please don't take personally
Hi, Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I can not believe day after tomorrow is Christmas....its crazy! In some ways this year has gone by really quickly and in others it seems like its just dragged by. My family is lucky to have my brother, Stephen, home for Christmas. He's in the Army stationed in Hawaii and is about to be deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Its sort of bittersweet. We are soooooo incredibly happy to have him home, especially since he wasn't able to come home last year, but we're also sad because we know when we drop him off at the airport we won't be seeing him again for at least a year. Having watched one of my best friends in the entire world, Justin, be deployed and now witnissing Stephen do the same thing has helped me to realize what an incredible Army of guys/gals we have here in the US. I just wish most people my age realized that. I wish people knew what it feels like to watch someone they love go away to war. I mean, that sounds wrong and I don't wish this on anyone but people who don't have immediate family members in the military have absolutely NO damn clue what its like. I don't give a krap if you have a friend or a friend of a friend or a cousin or whatever - trust me...you have NO clue what it feels like. Its not like bootcamp. Its one million times worse and then some. Its not just the thought of separation and not seeing your loved one. Its knowing that they are half way across the world being shot at so that dip shits back here in the US can go about their lives as normal and half the time those same lucky damn dip shits are bitching and moaning about having the military over there and they have no fucking concept of how incredibly fucking lucky they are. They think the damn answer is to send them home with only half the damn job done. Its so fucking gay. Those people suck ass. I'm sorry I'm going off on a rant. It just bothers me. I've just overheard people talking and it just really really really rubs me the wrong way. I mean if your anti-war fine. What the fuck ever I couldn't care less. Just DON'T talk shit about the military. I realize you can be anti-war and still support the troops. HOWEVER - going up to a service member and saying that they are serving and dying in Iraq for a bad reason or cutting are president down is NOT SUPPORTING THE TROOPS. Dumbasses. Brookie and I overheard these two old ladies and by old I mean 30ish 40ish talking shit like that once in Chili's. Ugh. I swear if anyone does anything like that to my brother in my presense they seriously will have something to bitch about when I'm done with them. Okay I'll get off this soapbox now sorry. Thank you for letting me vent. I feel better.
So yeah, I'm done Christmas shopping. Now all I have to do is wrap presents. I hate wrapping presents. Josh is still coming to Christmas. His friend Chris was going to come but now he can't make it. So Josh will be here from the 24th through the 26th. It will be nice to have him around. He's cool. I guess its best his friend can't come I wouldn't want to put my family out. I mean, I don't get how inviting someone who is risking there life for YOU on a damn daily basis to Christmas could put anyone out but whatever. I don't care. I am so tired. I know certain people are going to read this and go "Damn Katie is a bitch...she must be pms'ing." But here's a newsflash - I'm not. I'm tired and pissed at a wide array of people. So thats making me a bitch and nothing else. Unlike certain people I don't use pms'ing as a crutch or an excuse. If I'm being a bitch I admit it flat out. So there ya go. Whatever.
I'm really excited about going to Germany! I am totally scared but mainly excited. It is going to be an awesome experience and I am so glad that I will be doing something that will support our troops while Stephen is in Iraq. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I'll be doing something pro-active instead of just sitting at home bitching and moaning (like I am in this entry lol) I had an awesome professor once who said "You live in America. The greatest nation ever to be seen on the face of this planet. If you don't like something about this country you have every opportunity and right to try and change it. If you don't even try then you have no right to complain. If you don't like something change it." So yeah, there ya go.
You know what I've discovered with this whole going to Germany decision I've made? People, especially non-immediate family members, think they have every right in the world to weigh in with their two cents. Like who the hell asked you? I don't remember asking permission....I'm 23 - I'll be 24 in less then two weeks.....If I wanted to know how you felt about my putting school off for a year I would of asked. I don't go up to you and go "Gee.......I bet you regret not going to school huh?" Orrrr when they have a decision to make I don't go up to them and go "So I think your a dumbass for not doing this but hey its your funeral" I'm sorry. But really its ONE year. I will never have an opportunity like this again. YES they recruit like three times a year and YES I could be offered a job there again BUT if I go to school now and get two years worth of loans - which by the way will fucking be like $25,000 - I will not be in a financially stable position to just go "Okayy....I have my degree I'm going away to Germany without a care in the world." No people. Get realistic. Six months after you graduate you start to pay that shit back. Soooooo YES this IS INFACT MY ONLY OPPORTUNITY to go. Plus, I have my Associates degree. I have narrowed down what I want to major in to two different fields. I either want to do Mass Communications/Broadcast Journalism OR I need to go into a different field because I also am interested in working for the Red Cross as a field supervisor in a remote branch like Afganistan or soon to be Iraq. You can't do that with the Mass Communications degree. SOOOO by going to Germany - by actually getting field experience and seeing what kind of field situations I'd be living in I'll see if thats what I want to do. It is NOT a waste of time. PLUS on top of all of that it looks incredibly awesome to have the Department of Defense on your resume. The guy that interviewed me told me that. I have talked to other employers and emailed some people and they all agree. It does NOT at all matter if my postion in Germany is "Toilet bowl cleaner for the Department of Defense." It still will look good. A lot better then any other menail lame ass job I'd have here. The fact that I will have lived and worked both in the US and overseas will look good also. I made the right decison. I prayed about it. AND if all that other stuff doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside here's something that will - I prayed I talked to God and I feel called to go there. I'm doing what I am suppose to do. SOOOO Please get off my back. This really isn't for many people at all. This whole diatribe I'm spilling out is for like the 2 or 3 people that feel it necessary to voice their opinions. I am thankful to all of my friends. Especailly Brookie and Shannon and Suzie, and Josh and JUSTIN who have been so awesome and supportive and have believed in me. I think everyone in my family - not my immediate family but like extended on BOTH sides thinks I'm a total ditz and airhead and they think I can't make it on my own. I'll be told I'm too sensitive and that I'm over reacting and that this is all that made up "middle child syndrom" krap. Well Its not. This is genuinely how I feel. AND when you doubt my decision making ability it makes me feel like you have no faith in me to live my own life. So please stop it. To quote Josh "Can I live my life?" How about you worry about you and I'll worry about me? Do what you do and I'll do what I do. And I'll LOVE you no matter what. I do. Okay - Done with that soap box. Sorry. Like I said before I just need to vent and this really isn't for anyone that even really reads this entry anyway. In the interest of keeping the peace I've just kept my mouth shut on shit. I just needed to get that out. But its getting to the point that if one more person says anything negative to me like that I'll just talk to them and explain to them why they are indeed an ass wipe. LOL For rizzle. (LOL Brookie)
Okay - I feel horrible because I sound like a big bitch and maybe I am but gees people its my life. Okay I'm sorry again. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME VENT. I love you guys sooooooooo much. THank you thank you thank you. You KNOW I am here for you if you ever need to vent like this. Thank you again. I love you guys.
I'll update this again later when I'm not so upset.
Love ya,
Kate
So yeah, I'm done Christmas shopping. Now all I have to do is wrap presents. I hate wrapping presents. Josh is still coming to Christmas. His friend Chris was going to come but now he can't make it. So Josh will be here from the 24th through the 26th. It will be nice to have him around. He's cool. I guess its best his friend can't come I wouldn't want to put my family out. I mean, I don't get how inviting someone who is risking there life for YOU on a damn daily basis to Christmas could put anyone out but whatever. I don't care. I am so tired. I know certain people are going to read this and go "Damn Katie is a bitch...she must be pms'ing." But here's a newsflash - I'm not. I'm tired and pissed at a wide array of people. So thats making me a bitch and nothing else. Unlike certain people I don't use pms'ing as a crutch or an excuse. If I'm being a bitch I admit it flat out. So there ya go. Whatever.
I'm really excited about going to Germany! I am totally scared but mainly excited. It is going to be an awesome experience and I am so glad that I will be doing something that will support our troops while Stephen is in Iraq. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I'll be doing something pro-active instead of just sitting at home bitching and moaning (like I am in this entry lol) I had an awesome professor once who said "You live in America. The greatest nation ever to be seen on the face of this planet. If you don't like something about this country you have every opportunity and right to try and change it. If you don't even try then you have no right to complain. If you don't like something change it." So yeah, there ya go.
You know what I've discovered with this whole going to Germany decision I've made? People, especially non-immediate family members, think they have every right in the world to weigh in with their two cents. Like who the hell asked you? I don't remember asking permission....I'm 23 - I'll be 24 in less then two weeks.....If I wanted to know how you felt about my putting school off for a year I would of asked. I don't go up to you and go "Gee.......I bet you regret not going to school huh?" Orrrr when they have a decision to make I don't go up to them and go "So I think your a dumbass for not doing this but hey its your funeral" I'm sorry. But really its ONE year. I will never have an opportunity like this again. YES they recruit like three times a year and YES I could be offered a job there again BUT if I go to school now and get two years worth of loans - which by the way will fucking be like $25,000 - I will not be in a financially stable position to just go "Okayy....I have my degree I'm going away to Germany without a care in the world." No people. Get realistic. Six months after you graduate you start to pay that shit back. Soooooo YES this IS INFACT MY ONLY OPPORTUNITY to go. Plus, I have my Associates degree. I have narrowed down what I want to major in to two different fields. I either want to do Mass Communications/Broadcast Journalism OR I need to go into a different field because I also am interested in working for the Red Cross as a field supervisor in a remote branch like Afganistan or soon to be Iraq. You can't do that with the Mass Communications degree. SOOOO by going to Germany - by actually getting field experience and seeing what kind of field situations I'd be living in I'll see if thats what I want to do. It is NOT a waste of time. PLUS on top of all of that it looks incredibly awesome to have the Department of Defense on your resume. The guy that interviewed me told me that. I have talked to other employers and emailed some people and they all agree. It does NOT at all matter if my postion in Germany is "Toilet bowl cleaner for the Department of Defense." It still will look good. A lot better then any other menail lame ass job I'd have here. The fact that I will have lived and worked both in the US and overseas will look good also. I made the right decison. I prayed about it. AND if all that other stuff doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside here's something that will - I prayed I talked to God and I feel called to go there. I'm doing what I am suppose to do. SOOOO Please get off my back. This really isn't for many people at all. This whole diatribe I'm spilling out is for like the 2 or 3 people that feel it necessary to voice their opinions. I am thankful to all of my friends. Especailly Brookie and Shannon and Suzie, and Josh and JUSTIN who have been so awesome and supportive and have believed in me. I think everyone in my family - not my immediate family but like extended on BOTH sides thinks I'm a total ditz and airhead and they think I can't make it on my own. I'll be told I'm too sensitive and that I'm over reacting and that this is all that made up "middle child syndrom" krap. Well Its not. This is genuinely how I feel. AND when you doubt my decision making ability it makes me feel like you have no faith in me to live my own life. So please stop it. To quote Josh "Can I live my life?" How about you worry about you and I'll worry about me? Do what you do and I'll do what I do. And I'll LOVE you no matter what. I do. Okay - Done with that soap box. Sorry. Like I said before I just need to vent and this really isn't for anyone that even really reads this entry anyway. In the interest of keeping the peace I've just kept my mouth shut on shit. I just needed to get that out. But its getting to the point that if one more person says anything negative to me like that I'll just talk to them and explain to them why they are indeed an ass wipe. LOL For rizzle. (LOL Brookie)
Okay - I feel horrible because I sound like a big bitch and maybe I am but gees people its my life. Okay I'm sorry again. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME VENT. I love you guys sooooooooo much. THank you thank you thank you. You KNOW I am here for you if you ever need to vent like this. Thank you again. I love you guys.
I'll update this again later when I'm not so upset.
Love ya,
Kate